Karen Carlucci Wahner - Reclaiming Your Moxie: A Guide to Healing Your Sassy Self

Copyright 2019 by Karen Carlucci Wahner

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Printed in the United States of America

First Printing, 2019

ISBN 978-1-54397-108-8 eBook 978-1-54397-109-5

For Kristen, Katie, Justin, and Kimmy

-You were always my Why

Acknowledgments

This book could not have been written without the help of others and the life events Ive experienced. Every good thing, as well as bad, has made me the person I am today, and I am grateful for what I have learned along the way. I wish to thank my kids, Kristen, Katie, Justin, and Kimmy for being incredibly beautiful people, and allowing me to bounce ideas off of them no matter how strange they sound. I also wish to thank Bruce, for giving me four of the most beautiful gifts I could have ever received in this lifetime and for suggesting that I write in order to maintain my sanity as a stay-at-home mom. I am grateful for my teacher, Mr. Daniel Loose, whose passion for the written word, and the ability to pull more details out of me, helped me to discover that I really loved to write. A big thank you goes out to my editors, Adrienne Dillard, Elizabeth Bell, along with Kristen and Katie, who took the time to make sure I didnt ramble on and totally destroy the English language. I truly appreciate all their help in this process. If you find any mistakes in the book, its most likely my fault, not theirs, because I kept rewriting things that they already said were fine. Adrienne, my twin flame, I am incredibly grateful for all your support in every area of my life. I am so blessed to have you as a friend and as my touchstone. Thanks for talking me off the ledge more times than I care to count. Tammy, you havent been in my life very long, but oh man, I love your moxiethanks for caring. Special thanks to Jeff for your support. Finally, I wish to thank Spirit for guiding me to where I need to be. You have given me such incredible abundance in this life, and I am eternally grateful.

They tried to bury us,
They didnt know we were seeds

-Mexican Proverb

Introduction

I want to welcome you as you embark upon a new journey, my friend. I will be your guide along the way and my goal is to help you find the answers you seek. Not everything in this book will apply to everyone, but I believe that there is a great deal of information and guidance that will apply to all. You see, everyone has their own journeyno two are alike. Some of you have already traveled a long way while others are just starting out. For some of you, the roads have been relatively smooth with an occasional bump or two along the way while others have traveled through incredibly rough terrain. Our journeys should be filled with love, laughter, and joy, but are many times filled with stress, regret, and sadness. If you are tired of living a life that doesnt seem to have a purpose, or you feel as though youve lost yourself somewhere along the way, then this book is here to help you. It will help you better understand yourself so that you can start making some significant changes and finally live the life that you deserve.

I want to make something incredibly clear before you even begin reading this book. Your intelligence has nothing to do with the situations you are, or were, in. It has nothing to do with the mistakes or decisions youve made. Stop telling yourself that you are too smart to be where you are in life. Many smart people have been in the same situations, made the same mistakes or decisions, and have done the same things as you. You are not stupid. You are human. I know this because I was there, beating myself up and questioning my intelligence because of a choice I made or a situation I ended up in. I used to get so angry with myself. How could I have allowed this , whatever it was, to happen? Im too smart for this . So, heres what Ive discovered, my friend. You can be a genius, but if you dont feel good about yourself, werent raised to be bold and unstoppable, or youve spent your life settling for less than you deserve, youll end up in situations that arent so good for you. Stop equating this with intelligenceyou are incredibly smart and heres how I know thisyoure reading a book to get help to figure it out. Youre seeking out resources to assist you with fulfilling your dream of a better life. As you read through this book, youll begin to understand why youve gotten into certain situations or made certain decisions in your life, and once you understand the problem, youll be able to figure out the solution.

The idea behind this book is to take you on a journey, and each chapter builds upon the previous one. My advice is to start at the beginning of the book and work your way to the end. This will provide you with a better understanding of moxie, where it went, and how best to reclaim it. I also suggest you grab a journal and keep it nearby because there are some exercises and writing prompts throughout the book that youll want to use to help you in the healing process. In addition to the exercises and prompts, feel free to write down any other thoughts or ideas that come to mind as you are reading. I find that I can be most creative when Im in self-discovery mode. Remember, it only takes one creative idea to change your life, so keep that journal handy and allow the thoughts to flow. Since everyone is on their own individual journey, this book will be what it needs to be for each person. You may read some chapters and not see yourself in them, or you may have many aha moments in another. There are some chapters that you may get through very quickly while others may take some time. This is not a race, so go at the pace that youre most comfortable with.

I wrote this book as if I were talking to a friend, so dont be put off by the conversational tone of my writing. The contractions, slang, and sometimes colorful words I chose are intentional. If, for some reason, youre agitated by all the contractions, slang, and colorful words, then it might be a good idea for you to read this book, because if youre worried about that stuff instead of the content, then you probably need a good kick in the ass to remind you about whats really important in life. My suggestion to you is to keep reading. For the rest of you, who need a good friend at this time, pull up a chair, grab a glass of wine, or pour another cup of coffeeIve got some stuff I want to share with you.

Union Joe Stirs Some Moxie

M any years ago, when I was in my twenties, I had a friend named Lil who was in her forties. The age difference should have meant something, but it didntwe were two peas in a pod. A woman with a petite frame and muted blonde hair, Lil was originally from Scotland and came over to the United States when she was in her twenties. Although she had been here for many years, she still had that Scottish brogue that I loved listening to and sometimes made fun of. Lil was a lot of fun and we spent a good portion of our time together laughing, drinking coffee, going out to dinner, and shopping. I remember stopping by her house one Saturday evening, just to hang out, as I often did.

Lils husband, Joe, was home that night, sitting on the sofa watching television as he often spent his Saturday nights. Joe looked like someone who had been in the boxing ring or a bar fight quite a few times throughout his life. He was tough as nails and could often be found sitting on the sofa in his wife-beater t-shirt, his brown hair slicked back and a grimace on his face as he puffed away on his cigarettes. He had what reminded me of a boxers nose, because it was crooked and slightly disjointed. I often wondered how his nose ended up looking like that, but never had the opportunity to bring it up in any of our conversations. I must admit there was a part of me that was somewhat afraid to ask. Joe was a no-nonsense guy and looked like he could pretty much handle anything you sent his way. Total tough guy who didnt take shit from anyone.