Claudia Harris - The Buck Stops Here

I have been in Christ a lifetime. God has been preparing me for this work for approximately fifty-five years. The soul is like gold. Gold has to be purified, and purification comes from heattrials and suffering. Gold is worthless unless the dross has been removed; likewise, the soul, or self, has to die. Isaiah 48:10 says, Behold, I have refined thee but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction. I was in Gods furnace of affliction for many years, but I was never alone. God was with me. He was preparing me as a vessel to be used for service. The Holy Spirit does the work, but he has to have a body to work through. A beautiful instrument is worthless without a player. And, regardless of the beauty or value of the instrument, the instrument is never praised; all praise and honor go to the individual who skillfully plays it.

I married at the age of twenty-one, and that was the beginning of my furnace. I had been raised in a sheltered environment and had no experience of life. In fact, my view of life at that age was one got married and lived happily ever afterthe fairy-tale marriage. I was very naive. My marriage, however, ended in divorce, and that was devastating for me. Years ago, divorce was taboo, and in some churches that I visited people would say, God is not with you, because you are divorced. Being a single working mom was not easy, but God had other plans for my life, and I truly needed that experience for growth and maturity.

At times I felt that I just couldnt make it any further, but God would give me just enough hope and strength to keep going day by day. My family doctor at that time suggested that I take nerve pills and wrote a prescription. I took them for a few days, but I told myself that I was not going to go through life depending on a pill. While out for a walk one day, I threw that bottle of pills into a wooded area, and that was the end of the nerve pills. It was not easy, but I was determined to hold on to Gods unchanging hand. There were times when I was just hanging on emotionally to a song, but the song would get me through the day and give me the strength that I needed to face the next day. The song I Must Tell Jesus All of My Trials was medicine for mespiritual food! The testimonies that former saints have left behind in the form of hymns are consoling. I was also strengthened and consoled by many inspirational poems, which I sometimes passed on to others. Perfect faith is a process. It takes timeyears. The apostle Peter thought that he was strong enough to follow Jesus to the cross, but Jesus in his infinite wisdom knew that Peter would deny himthe spirit or mind to follow may be strong, but the flesh is weak. Gods love draws people out of bad situations. Some of the things that I have cried about in my life, I laugh about today. You just have to hang in there and never give up.

Many of you have heard the saying out of the frying pan and into the fire. Well, I went from Gods furnace to the crosscrucified! If you are a true follower of Christ, that is the process. However, the cross is significant. Remember, when Jesus was on the cross, he endured great pain and suffering, but he was also high and lifted up. Enemies and friends were there to watch, but putting Jesus on the cross was Satans mistake! John 12:32 says, I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me.

Symbolically, there is pain and suffering in our individual crucifixions, but our stories do not end there. When all the persecutors and foes have counted you out, when people cease to call and visit, and when no one wants to be around you, guess what: if God has ordained your suffering for divine purpose, to give you needed experience, when everyone, even you, thinks that life is over for you, God will send his angel to roll the stone away, and you will rise! Psalm 40:13 says, I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God. Many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord.

I have risen in the form of books, books that God has given to me to write for him. Writing is the anointing that the Holy Spirit has placed on my life. The poem Religion in chapter 4, The Church, is not of myself; it was given to me by the Holy Spirit. Writing was never on my agenda. When God revealed to me that he wanted me to write, he placed the individuals that I needed to accomplish this task in my path. For example, I never went out of my way to look for a publisher.

One day while traveling to Michigan, I casually mentioned to a woman on the bus that God wanted me to write a book. She said, I knew that I was going to meet you when you stepped onto this bus. She told me that God was going to reveal the book in substance. You should keep pen and paper with you at all times, she said. His revelation will come only once in thought, and if you dont write it down, you wont remember it later. She also said that I should remember that it was not my book but the book that God had given me to write for him. Then, she prayed for me, Gods angel.

A week or so later, while riding home from work on the bus, the poem Religion was revealed to me. I wrote the words down on scratch paper. After arriving home, I typed what I had written, and I had a poemmy first poem.

I am no longer on the cross. I have been resurrected. I have my BA (born again) and my PhD (praise him daily), and God has given me his peace that passes all understanding, joy in sorrow, and happiness. I am happyhappy with Jesus alone. God has been better to me than any husband, friend, or family member. God has let me have many, many rich experiences, including meeting many wonderful people and visiting many countries. However, he has never given me an abundance of material wealth. Ive lived paycheck to paycheck for a lifetime, but the meal has never run out. As said in the story of Elijah, 1 Kings 17:14, For thus saith the Lord God of Israel, The barrel of meal shall not waste, neither shall the cruse of oil fail. Money cannot buy the experiences that God has let me have in life. Let God choose your path!