Rachel Pope - Gifts from Grief: A journey back home

Gifts from Grief

Rachel Pope

All rights reserved

First Edition, 2019

Copyright 2019 Rachel Pope

Cover image to Shutterstock.com

The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Requests for permission should be addressed to

Rachel Pope

Testimonies

Rachels ability to plumb the depths of grief and to unearth its sacred treasures is an inspiration and a joy. She navigates the darkness of this difficult subject with courage and grace, lighting a trail for others to find their way. This book is a gift to all who have bravely loved and lost.

Elizabeth Best ~ Author of Elis Wings and The Year We Seized the Day

Rachel literally walked through the valley of the shadow of death herself when she lost the three men she loved most in the world, her dad, her brother and then her husband and soulmate Ray. But, Rachel has come out of the darkness and into the light and with her carries gifts from that time that are too precious to keep to herself. In this book she shares the thoughts from the depths of her soul and the profound things she has learned through the journey of grief and loss. Through the process of healing she has learned the greatest gifts ever, empathy and the art of gratitude which in turn has carried her into a life of richness, purpose and HOPE that she never dreamed possible.

Kerrie Atherton, Founder of Stories of HOPE Australia - Author, Inspirational Speaker,Trauma and Addictions Recovery Coach/Counsellor/Educator

Dedicated to my Mum

Eileen Roberts

For she has never stopped believing, loving, and providing.

I owe it all to Her.

Acknowledgements

To my Family. More than any words can describe, I am forever grateful. My Mum Eileen, Bill, my special brothers Glen and Julian who have supported me along the way, Louise, Renee, Ryan, Liv, Larry, Sylvia, Kathy, Patrick, Olive, Val, Paul and all of my close relatives. Also to my beautiful new extended family John, Lesley, Melinda, Marco and Aleara. You are constant and kind. In your own special way, you have all played a part in my life and supported my children and me, through our toughest days. I consider you to be my lifeblood and nothing is more important to me than Family.

To my girlfriend sisters. There is no greater bond than a friendship that lasts a lifetime. No matter how far Ive strayed, no matter how dark my days were, you were ALWAYS there for me. And to this day I will never forget the memories, the tears, the laughter and the adventures we have shared. Ange, Genevieve, Annmarie, Tarni, Michelle, Shar, and Kaz I know you will always have my back. I love you so much.

To Jason, the amazing Man I get to experience life with now. It was written in the stars. You are my light, my rock, my laughter, and my forever more. You are beyond amazing in your loyalty, respect, understanding, and dedication to us as a family. You are a wonderful Father to our kids. Thank you for being ever so patient on this journey with me. I am so excited for the adventures that lay ahead for us.

To my gorgeous bonus daughter Ella, I loved you from the moment I met you. Your smile lights up any room and your special gift is in understanding others and being there for people, a loyalty you get from your Dad. I am so blessed to have come into your life, at a time, that Ive witnessed you grow into the beautiful young lady you are today. Keep being you.

To the incredible woman who brought these pages to life, Shilpa Agarwal. Thank you for your rock-steady patience and guidance throughout my book-writing journey. Your coaching and communication skills are first class. I have gained so much clarity from working with you and was gifted much more than bringing this book to the world. It was the hardest achievement I have ever undertaken, and you were there for me on every step of the way. A million thank yous.

To Kerrie and Eli for believing in me. I will be forever grateful for your constant guidance and encouragement. I am so proud to call such esteemed authors and mentors as my beautiful friends. To Paul and Guinevere for the many years of mentorship when I needed it the most, I am so thankful for your kindness and wisdom. To Craig Harper for kick-starting my confidence, helping me own up, and step up. To Toni for your creativity and igniting my vision.

Lastly, to the two people that have been the centre of my world, my driving force, and my reason for continuing to get back up again, for as long as I can remember.

My beautiful daughter Amelia Jean, and my mighty son Vincent Murray, one day you will understand why you are the very reason I am still standing. You literally saved my life. Why? Because you never gave up on me, you never complained, you always saw the good in every moment, even when your world was falling down around you. Your tiny hands held me, your laughter revived me, and your unconditional love rescued me. You have encouraged me to bring this book to life and Im sure, also often wondered, why it was taking so long! The world is not big enough for your hearts and minds, but I sure do hope I live to see the wonders you create wherever you go. Your Daddy is beaming with pride from heaven watching you grow. He was so in awe of you both.

I am the luckiest person in the world that God chose me to be your Mum.

I LOVE YOU with every inch of my being.

Xo Rachel

Introduction

A day will come when the story inside you will want to breathe on its own. Thats when you will start writing.

-Sarah Noffke

I have survived and I have surfaced. There will always be good days and bad days. My personal twenty-six-year grief journey has taught me many lessons. Sweet memories are woven from good times and Ive learnt to seek beauty in the ordinary and magnify the magic.

Death is messy, and living with grief is hard. Nevertheless, LIFE is also messy and hard. I have come to realise it is our perspective that alters the happy and the sad. I am eternally grateful for the life I have forged behind me, life right NOW, and am excited for what lies ahead of me. This year I became immensely inspired to contribute in the narrative on the topic of grief. Over the years, I have personally witnessed the power of a story shared.

This is my story, and my twelve Gifts From Grief. It is important to note that I believe there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Everyones experiences are different. But I can tell you what has worked for me, what Ive tried, and what I have learnt. Through my story, it is my wish to bring hope to many, and help others on their grief journey. Death and Grief will touch us all at one stage or another, and yet why is it the least talked about?! Im lifting the lid on grief, one conversation at a time. If I could share MY one truth from my experiences and what Ive learnt bedside to many last breaths, is that in the end, LOVE is ALL that matters.

Xo Rachel

Contents

The Gift of Gratitude

The Gift of Growth

The Gift of Perspective

The Gift of Compassion

The Gift of Resilience

The Gift of Vulnerability

The Gift of Love ( amplified )