Denise Dove-Bernier - A Shattered Family

Chapter One

The Fall of a Family

It was February of 2015. I didnt know it, but the fate of my family would soon be changed forever. I was waiting for my spouse to come home, because we had reservations for a nice restaurant to celebrate our fourteenth wedding anniversary. But he never came home that night. I was waiting at my mothers house all day for his phone call, but he never called. I remember how heartbroken I was. I told my mom that I would wait until the very last minute to call and cancel our reservations.

My spouse was missing for about seventy-two hours. So a friend of the family came over to comfort me and the kids. She bought pizza for me and the children that night. She had to convince me to call the police, to file a missing-person report on him. The police woman asked me if I thought that my husband was having an affair. I looked at her, very shocked and surprised that she would ask me that. I was very appalled at that question being asked, because I was worried sick and so were the children, thinking that something horrible might have happened to my husband. I told her, No, theres no way he would do that!

Anyways, I ended up doing a missing-person report.

The kids and I were very distraught thinking that something horrible did, indeed, happen to him. The friend of the family helped plaster our renewal of vows, wedding photos all over the internet, and the story went viral. People I didnt even know were sharing the post all over the country. There was many people praying he would have been found safe. When the truth came out later where he really was, people were angry about it, because everyone, including me and the kids, were so upset.

On the day, he showed up at the house. My cell phone rang. I answered it. He said that he was at the house. I almost got into a car accident, because I drove home so fast. When I got there, I jumped out of my truck and ran to him, throwing my arms around him and hugging him tight. I said to him, Thank You, Jesus, that youre alive! We went into the house, he walked past our pictures on the living room wall.

He cried as he walked past the pictures. Then he said, Im not good enough for you and these kids.

I was confused about him crying. Then I asked him, Why are you crying? Me and the kids have been worried sick about you, thinking you were murdered or something.

He had to go talk to his boss, whom he worked for when he got home, he said. So I told him that I would go in there when he talked to his boss. He kept insisting that I wait in the truck with the children. I told him, Theres no way Im waiting outside. Im going in there with you.

When we went inside, his boss started lecturing him about marriage. His boss said hed like to see us work out the marriage. My ex turned white as a ghost as he sat there with his Christian boss laying the marriage lecturing on thick.

His bosses church was having a couple dance for marriages. His boss let us know about it. He said hed love to see us go. I really wanted to go; my eyes lighted up when his boss mentioned it. My spouse said hed think about it.

The day he decided to show back up, there was a man in the area that contacted me, and was going to help me do a manhunt for my spouse. He said, I wont quit or give up until hes found. Also, I was getting ready that day to contact the local news stations back, because they were going to broadcast and be interviewed.

In about three days later, he went away for the weekend. He said that he had a side job to do so that wed have extra moneyfrom which, of course, like always, I never saw any money. He said he was earning for the family. I always believed everything he said, like the good Christian trusting wife was supposed to do, or so I believed.

My oldest daughter had a girlfriend stay the night, like she usually did. The two youngest kids were downstairs playing together around the house as usual. My oldest daughter yelled upstairs to my bedroom, I think Dads cheating on you!

I got upset with her and told her, No, hes not. Thats ridiculous. I didnt believe it or want to hear that, so I kept tuning her out while cleaning my bedroom. I always seemed to stick up for my ex-husband.

My oldest son, Wayne, would get so mad, because he said Id say, Thats my husband, dont talk about my husband. I had rose-colored glasses on when it came to him, blinders on, if you will. What it was is that I wanted everything to be fine, and I figured if I said it, it would become fine. But, obviously, everyone knows that is not what happened to my marriage.

My ex-husband would go away every single weekend. It was his new habit, which he started in January, it seemed, for the new year. He was always saying he was just trying to make some extra money for the family because we needed it.

When the weekend came again, he took his work boots and walked out the front door, down the side walk. He was smiling as he walked away, with his work boots in his hands. Our two-year-old daughter crying for him as he left. I tried to reassure the baby that Daddy is leaving for work. I kept saying to her over and over again, but it did not comfort her because she cried even harder.

For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. (Luke 8:17, NIV)

For nothing is secret that shall not be made manifest.

Neither anything hid that shall not be known and come abroad. (Luke 8:17, KJV)

Chapter Two

The Night That Would Forever Change Our Lives

I went upstairs to clean up our bedroom. I heard the voice of God, that still small voice. He told me to go through my husbands bedroom dresser drawers, which, I wasnt the wife that invaded my husbands privacy, ever in all the years of the marriage. So I started to go through the dresser. I said out loud, Lord, this is crazy. I dont know what I am supposed to be looking for. Then, I lifted up a pair of jeans. I stumbled upon a cell phone.

I then heard the voice of God again, Now, turn it on and look. Then I saw a conversation pop up right away. I then knew about the affair that my husband hid so well from me. It took me about an hour to read the whole dialogue between him and the woman. I read the whole thing to my sister in Louisiana, crying hysterically throughout the whole thing in major disbelief.

When I had gotten off the phone with her, I started screaming, wailing, crying at the top of my lungs, like I have never done before in my life, not like that. The intense pain, and the flood of a whole bunch of intense emotions flooded my being. I was in major, intense shock, it was more than my heart, mind, and spirit could handle. All the emotions came out all at once. Rage, unbearable sadness, disappointment, pain, loss, abandonment, bitterness, anger, confusion, anxiety, anguish, loneliness, betrayal, helplessness, distrust, rejection, fear, resentment, and dread.

The presence of God was with me in the bedroom, and the presence of the enemy (Satan) was there. I definitely could feel that there were some evil spirits in there with me. With a house full of young children downstairs, I almost did the unthinkable. I fought so hard not to pick up my husbands gun and put it to my head. I felt that I was struggling with an unseen force that was so intense, at that very moment, with me in that room. I was definitely aware of it, because I was no stranger to the unseen realm.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood., but against the rulers., against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (Ephesians 6:12)

I believe the power of God was so strong that Father God kept me from ending my life that night.