Anthony Trucks - Identity Shift: Upgrade How You Operate to Elevate Your Life

3:33 a.m. Three more hours until I have to get up. Ugh. Its Tuesday, and I can feel the impending doom of having to get up and start another week.

Why cant I just sit here and let the world press on for a minute? Not going to lie, I envy homeless people just a little bit because they dont have to worry about going through the daily motions to keep the bills paid.

Whens my next vacation?

Crap, its 3:54 a.m. TURN OFF, BRAIN! I need to get back to sleep.

Well, now Im anxious, and my hearts beating all fast, and I dont know how Im going to fall back

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP 6:30 a.m. already?!

OK, Ken. Get up. Seriously, get up. You have to be at that meeting by 7:00 a.m. and you cannot skip brushing your teeth again just because you want to get some more sleep.

One foot; great job. Second foot; there you go. Now stand up. Yes, Im proud of you, man. Now head to the bathroom and get going. Shower? Sniff Naw, youre good for now. Teeth? Hawh Yes, teeth, you dummy. Thats gross. Clothes? These blue jeans, and that wrinkled yellow shirt on the ground, and those white chucks look wearable.

Annnnnd were dressed and ready to Oh crap! Im late!

OK, youre out the door and youre on your way to the coffee shop. Youll get there soon.

Why do you always do this, man? You give yourself anxiety every day for what?

I dont know, and I dont feel like thinking about it right now.

I wonder whats going on in Facebook land. Ding! Hey, Ken, hows that book coming along? Also, are you still going to launch that business you talked about, or apply for that job you mentioned?

Hmmmm Going to ignore that one for now. I dont feel like getting into that conversation at the moment. Ill come up with an excuse later so I dont have to admit Im all over the place and I dont know when Im going to get any of that stuff done because every time I set a deadline, it passes before I even get started.

I dont know what it is with me. Im talented, passionate, motivated (most of the time), and I know what needs to be done, but Im stuck in a standstill, saying the same things month after month.

What the F*$#!! Learn to drive, you idiot! I cant STAND it when people cut me off!

Man, if I didnt have somewhere to be, Id give him a piece of my mind. Thats going to be under my skin for hours. People really piss me off!

Jeez, late. Again. Its OK, though. Christine knows Im always a little bit late, and shes a close friend, so Im sure shell understand and let me off the hook.

As I rounded the corner, there was Christine, looking as healthy as ever, with a pretty white and blue flowered dress, fishing around in her medium-sized brown bag. Her cup of coffee was almost finished, and as she peeked up through her curls, which sat at shoulder height, she finally saw me. Her scrunched-up face said more than any words could have.

Whats up, Christine? How are you? Some idiot on the way here cut me off.

You know what, Ken? Honestly, Im a little bothered that youre 10 minutes late and didnt even text me to let me know you were running late. I figured you respected me enough to show up on time or at least let me know.

Im sorry, Iuhran into some traffic on the way here. Somebody cut me off, and I couldnt find a parking spot. Its not a disrespect thing.

Well, I got here 10 minutes early, so Ive been waiting here for 20 minutes already. Honestly, I wouldnt have even mentioned it, but its become a pattern. Even though weve been friends for over 10 years, I dont have space in my life for people who operate like you, Ken.

Wait, what do you mean? Are you serious right now? All this because Im 10 minutes late?!

Its way deeper than that, and you know it. We talked about this the last time you did this to me. We both started our careers at the same time, and we were pretty equal back then, but I chose over the last few years to make some adjustments to my life, and you havent. To be totally honest, I love you, but you need to figure some things out in life or Im going to have to love you from a distance.

Youve got to be kidding me right now. What makes you so special?! You think youre better than me just because you make more money and have achieved some stuff. I could do the exact same things you are, dammit!

Better than you? What are you talking about? Do you really want to do this right now? If you do, Ill break it down for you because the only person between the two of us who thinks that might be you. What you do with what I have to say is up to you, but Im telling you right now, its going to hurt to hear.

Hurt me? Why would you want to hurt me? Whats gotten into you?! This is ridiculous. Youre nobody special!

Then Christine gave me a look I didnt expect after calling her a nobody in public. She looked me deep in the eyes with the most caring expression Ive ever seen a person place in my direction and calmly said something Ill never forget. You know my heart, Ken. Ive always tried to help you, but I cannot help you if youre unwilling to help yourself. I cant want more for you than you want for yourself, and right now, I want you to have the most incredible life, but youre the one who doesnt.

What does she mean I dont want an incredible life? Of course I do. Am I being punked right now?

Its clear in the way you operate every day of your life. Its who you are to be late, lazy, lethargic, and make excuses. Youre always talking about the things youre going to do, and you never follow through, then you talk down about people who do. If this is who youre committed to being, then I cant be committed to being in your life.

My heart sunk, and all I could do was swallow with a dumbfounded look on my face as I stared back at her for what felt like 10 minutes.

Ken, its only a matter of time before everyone else tells you the same, or doesnt and just avoids you. Im telling you this BECAUSE I love you enough to tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. If you want to sit down, and calm down, Ill let you in on what my heart believes your heart needs to hear.

I took a moment to gather my thoughts, still a little pissed off from the drive over and this conversation. Then, I reluctantly and anxiously sat down with crossed arms and a standoffish feeling, knowing that I was about to hear something that may hurt and help me at the same time. Just like getting a shot from the doctoryou know its going to hurt, but deep down you know you need it to get healthy.