Annette Pasternak - Skin Picking: The Freedom to Finally Stop

The Freedom to Finally Stop

Annette Pasternak, Ph.D.

with Tammy Fletcher, M.A., L.M.F.T

Copyright 2014 Annette Pasternak

Smashwords edition

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

The self-help advice in this book is meant to be educational and is not intended as a substitute for psychotherapy, nutritional counseling, medical care or spiritual guidance. Please seek the appropriate professionals when needed.

We are all individuals with different circumstances, health concerns and sensitivities to food and supplements. I advise you to consult a health professional before taking supplements or implementing any of the other information in this book. I do not promise results and I accept no liability.

Congratulations! Please give yourself an appreciative pat on the back. Beginning to read this book is an important first step toward freedom from chronic, ongoing and destructive skin picking. Chances are you have had a skin picking problem for a very long time and have tried very very hard to get yourself to not do the behavior, to no avail. Any amount of effort you have tried and perhaps succeeded at, temporarily, you have ultimately gone back to picking with a sense of hopelessness that you will ever be free of this compulsion.

Having been there myself, I completely understand. But from now on, I want you to think, No more hopelessness. Simply trust that it can be done, and from now on, focus on learning how and taking positive steps. When you focus on hopelessness and doubt, that only causes the hopelessness to grow. Youve already done that enough, havent you? Did you know that if you look at a wall by the side of the freeway instead of the lane you are in, you will likely drive into that wall? (Dont test it!) I know where you want to be you want to have perfect skin and feel great and be 100% skin picking-free. But if you look at that as the only acceptable place to be, and you see how far you are from that reality, youre not going to be able to do it. Yet I know you are capable of taking small positive steps and being okay with gradual progress, and with where you are at each moment along the way. Starting now, see if you can open yourself up to being okay with how you are right now. Because only when we are focused on now do we have the power to choose, and each choice we make now determines our future. When you make peace with now, you will get a future that is bright with all the possibilities you deserve.

Chances are, if you are a skin picker, you are also a perfectionist. Know that perfectionism is your enemy, more than the skin picking is. You can even look at the picking as a symptom of the perfectionism. Nobody is perfect, and if you continually strive for perfection, you will never measure up, and the thought of being less than will make you miserable.

When I was 28 years old, my friends and I went hiking in the Grand Canyon, and stayed overnight at the bottom of the canyon at Phantom Ranch. One of the rangers, in her talk that night, told us that the next day when we hike out of the canyon, the rim of the canyon would always look so far away. For nearly the entire day, it would never appear any closer, and with our tired legs, we might feel discouraged. But then she told us the secret to staying motivated. When you get tired, she said, turn around and look behind you, and you will see all the trail behind you, winding back and forth, this way and that. Youll see you have actually made some progress towards the top. You are actually getting somewhere, step by step. She was right. The whole hike out of the canyon the next day, the canyon rim looked so far away, so high up, like it wasnt ever getting closer. But we saw a lot of progress looking back, progress we couldnt see in the process of slowly trudging forward on our increasingly tired legs.

Looking constantly at the canyon rim when we have a long way to go is not fruitful. It is better to get satisfaction from merely putting one foot in front of the other, even at those times when we are tired of the whole journey. We need to take satisfaction in knowing that all we need to take care of right now is simply walking uphill, rather than down. We need to trust that walking continually uphill inevitably gets us to where we want to go.

So, as you do the work in this book, see if you can take satisfaction in the fact that you are taking positive steps. And focus on that, rather than feeling you dont measure up, or how much further you have to go to stop your skin picking, or to heal your scars. Trust that it can be done, make up your mind that you will do it, and then bit by bit, go boldly forward on the path ahead.

I am a holistic health coach, and since that is a relatively new profession, I will explain a little more about it, and in what ways I am qualified and what ways I am less qualified than others who help people like you who pick their skin.

Health coaching is a relatively new and rapidly growing profession. It is filling a great need for helping patients implement healing diet and lifestyle changes, subjects in which medical doctors both receive little training in, and have little time for.

Medical doctors have a lot on their plate. Due to the structuring of insurance, they often have only a few minutes to spend with each patient. In such a small window of time, they cannot possibly provide all the support a person facing an illness, disease or disorder needs. Frequently, illnesses and conditions respond remarkably well (often better than drugs) to natural interventions like changing the persons diet, and it takes a lot longer to help a person learn to change their eating habits than a doctor has in those few minutes. Most doctors dont know the diet and lifestyle changes that are appropriate for every disease and disorder they treat.

This is where health coaches come in. There are holistic health coaches specializing in probably every health problem that exists, from diabetes, cancer and heart disease, to thyroid conditions, autoimmune diseases and eating disorders.

Holistic health coaches are trained in counseling and often work with populations and health problems similar to the ones theyve suffered from, so they may have a natural connection to their clients that the doctor would not. They also know that, in addition to the food we eat, relationships, spirituality and the work we do also can have profound effects on our health. These areas often affect our health more than what we eat.

If you have any doubt about the truth of that statement, I refer you to the research summarized in the recent book Mind over Medicine by Lissa Rankin, M.D. which clearly shows the primary importance of factors usually considered secondary to our health (or not even considered), such as our relationships and spiritual life. Also in the book, Dr. Rankin makes the case for the importance of the health care providers time spent caring for the patients health, and the caring manner in which the doctor treats the patient. She points out that the placebo effect in clinical trials (where a certain number of people are not getting the tested drug treatment, and nobody knows whether they are getting it or not) is due to the healing effects of the caring attitude and time spent with the patients on the project. The patient feels relaxed and reassured instead of stressed and upset, which provides a state enabling healing.