Wayne Jacobsen - Authentic Relationships: Discover the Lost Art of One Anothering

authentic relationships

Other Books by Wayne Jacobsen

He Loves Me!

In My Fathers Vineyard

The Naked Church

Tales of the Vine

Pathways of Grace

Other Books by Clay Jacobsen

Interview with the Devil

Circle of Seven

The Lasko Interview

authentic relationships

discover the lost art of one anothering

WAYNE JACOBSEN & CLAY JACOBSEN

2003 by Wayne Jacobsen and Clay Jacobsen

Published by Baker Books
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.bakerbooks.com

E-book edition created 2011

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

ISBN 978-1-5855-8154-2

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com

Scripture marked KJV is taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

Scripture marked NASB is taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE. Copyright The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995. Used by permission. www.lockman.org

Scripture taken from THE MESSAGE, copyright by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, is used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

The internet addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers in this book are accurate at the time of publication. They are provided as a resource. Baker Publishing Group does not endorse them or vouch for their content or permanence.

M y wife and I were in Australia four years ago when our good friend Ben Tarren brought up the idea of writing a study guide on the concepts of one anothering that I had woven throughout my first novel. His suggestion led to my participation in the book you now hold in your hands. I gratefully thank you, Ben, for planting the seed.

And to Cindy, my wife and my deepest one anothering partner on this journeyI thank you for helping me with the writing and for sharing your passion about these principles. Im grateful for your pushing me to see Bens idea finally come to fruition.

Clay

To the past and present board members at Lifestream who have one anothered Sara and me through the best and worst of times, I thank you for your words of encouragement, wise counsel, prayers, personal support, and rich friendship: Rich and Sheila Artis, Ron and Jen Brisco, Paul and Louise Gutierrez, Jim and Margaret Oliveras, Nelson and Shannon Schwamb, Nick and Julia Sembrano, and Phil and Sheri Shannon.

Wayne

We also want to express our thanks to Vicki Crumpton and all the incredible staff at Baker Books who made this project a better book than we ever could have produced on our own.

Wayne & Clay

We have found that cowritten books can often be disruptive for the reader when the authors try to identify who made what contributions. Wanting to avoid that here, we have chosen to present the material seamlessly as if the words flowed from the mind of only one author. Suffice it to say that this work represents the combination of our passion, wisdom, and experiences, and the I in this book may refer to Wayne or Clay or to our combined work. We did not think it important to make that distinction throughout and by not doing so hoped to model the one anothering we wanted to share with you. Also, we have on occasion changed the names of people in our illustrations to protect their identities whenever confidentiality was warranted, but they are nonetheless true stories of the simple power and joy of one anothering.

contents

I gazed out the window at the snow-covered hills that surrounded the New England retreat. I had accompanied my brother to the retreat to help lead worship. I was not prepared for the revelation the Holy Spirit would birth in my heart that day. Wayne was speaking on the power of Christian friendship, focusing on Scriptures he called the one anothering passages.

At first blush his message didnt seem to be anything new. I had been raised by loving, Christian parents and had read these verses individually dozens of times. Though many of them were some of the most endearing passages I had studied in the course of my life, I had never considered them together in this context. Combined, they painted a rich panorama of the incredible relationships of love and support the body of Christ can share.

My retreat experience was a powerful, life-changing moment in my walk with the Lord. As I began to grasp the lost art of one anothering, I started on a journey that has redefined how I view the church, how I relate to other Christians, and even how I relate to God. It also has helped me cultivate better friendships with other believers and people in the world who do not yet know God.

Now, ten years later, my brother and I have walked different paths, but God has brought us together to explore this concept with you. We will investigate such questions as, How can we share meaningful and supportive relationships with other believers? and What is the New Testament model for loving, nurturing friendships? If you have ever hungered for deeper relationships with other believers, perhaps you are ready to realize the difference between going to church and being the church.

Just look at all the ways we can share relationships with other believers:

One Anothering

Loving one another (John 13:34)

Forgiving one another (Ephesians 4:32)

Accepting one another (Romans 15:7)

Bearing with one another (Ephesians 4:2)

Being devoted to one another (Romans 12:10)

Honoring one another above ourselves (Romans 12:10)

Greeting one another (2 Corinthians 13:12)

Being hospitable to one another (1 Peter 4:9)

Being kind and compassionate to one another (Ephesians 4:32)

Sharing with one another (Hebrews 13:16)

Serving one another (Galatians 5:13)

Carrying one anothers burdens (Galatians 6:2)

Building up one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

Encouraging one another daily (Hebrews 3:13)

Comforting one another (1 Thessalonians 4:18)

Stimulating one another to love and good deeds (Hebrews 10:24)

Instructing one another (Romans 15:14)

Admonishing one another (Colossians 3:16)

Praying for one another (James 5:16)

Confessing your sins to one another (James 5:16)

Being of the same mind toward one another (Romans 12:16)

Submitting to one another (Ephesians 5:21)

Discovering the significance of these Scriptures has been incredible for me. I pray that your journey with us through this book will help you discover the lost art of one anothering in your own relationshipsthat is, loving others as God has loved you.

Clay Jacobsen
Camarillo, California

anyway

People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.

Love them anyway.