Tony Evans - Tony Evans Speaks Out On Single Parenting

TONY EVANS

SPEAKS OUT ON

SINGLE

PARENTING

M OODY P RESS
CHICAGO

1995 by
A NTHONY T. E VANS

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

Scripture quotations are taken from the New American Standard Bible, Copyright The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977. Used by permission.

ISBN: 0-8024-2563-1

1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

Printed in the United States of America

SINGLE PARENTING

M y heart was broken recently when the son of one of the single parents in our church looked up at me and said, Pastor, why wont God give me a dad? Every night I ask God to give me a dad, but He wont give me one.

What would you have said to him? I didnt have any easy answers for that young man, but I tried to explain to him that he did have a father, his heavenly Father. Yes, that concept may be beyond his worldview right now, but I wanted him to know that he was not alone. And I want to say to single parents that they are not alone either. Single parent, God has a word for you, and its a word of hope and comfort.

THE NEED FOR A WORD FROM GOD

Thats not to say there isnt plenty of disturbing news out there when it comes to the issue of single parents. What used to be considered rather unusual not too many years agoa family with only one parent present is now a crisis of growing proportions. The reality in our culture today is that a staggering number of children are growing up in single-parent homes, the vast majority of which are fatherless.

In 1970, for example, only 13 percent of children grew up without both parents being at home. But today that number is at least 30 percent in the culture at large. For African-American children, that percentage more than doubles to 63 percent. Were talking about millions of children growing up in homes where in most cases they will know little or nothing of a fathers influence. I know that mothers are deserting their families too, but the numbers are still heavily weighted toward missing fathers.

Were told that half of all American children will go through at least some part of their lives without having a father at home. And the future doesnt look any brighter. In the year 2000, 70 percent of our black children are products of single-parent (in most cases, fatherless) homes.

The implications of this are staggering in terms of the world we have to live in and minister to. This is not theoretical for me. My church in Dallas is not immune to the problem. One Sunday morning I asked single parents to raise their hands, then I asked those who had been raised in a single-parent home to raise their hands. In each case a good number of people put their hands up.

So we need to ask, What does God have to say to single parents today? What hope and comfort does He offer to the mother who is alone and fears for her childrens future because they have no father at home and fears for herself because she has no mate? What does the Bible say to the small but growing number of fathers who are rearing children alone?

Before we turn to the Scriptures, let me say a word to the reader who may be thinking, This is not really my problem. Im not a single parent. Let me say that Gods Word to single parents will benefit you too, for two reasons. The first reason is that all Scripture is profitable. Many of the principles and truths well consider in this booklet will also help two-parent families in their child-rearing task. The second reason you need to know what the Word says on this issue is that you may be just one step, one heartbeat, one accident away from becoming a single parent. It could happen to any of us at any time. And as much as we hate to think about it, our homes could also be hit by divorce or abandonment. What Im saying is that none of us is immune to the problems of life, so we need to know what God says.

Besides, even if your home stays intact you will have to deal with this issue as a Christian and a citizen of this country because the fallout of family breakup is hitting all of us. Your children may be sitting in a classroom right now where there is a high percentage of single-parent kids. And you will almost certainly come in contact with a single parent if you dont know one already. And with more than a million children being born out of wedlock every year, were all paying a huge bill.

GOD IS FOR THE SINGLE PARENT

So we need a word of encouragement and hope and correction from God. First of all, I want you to know that God is for the single parent. Regardless of how you got into that situation, if you love God and have a heart for Him, He is for you.

In Psalm 27:10, David says, My father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me up. David is saying that God will be a parent when a parent is missing. God will take up the slack caused by the absent parent. Thats good news. Its good to know that you have a mother you didnt know you had and a father when you dont know where your real father is. That is what the old folks meant when they said, If you dont have a mother, He will be your mother. If you dont have a father, He will be your Father. He will be a lawyer in a courtroom and a doctor in a hospital and whatever else you need.

God can meet your need. Even though you may not have an ideal home situation, you do have an ideal God. Filmmakers use fancy technology and computer wizardry to turn a character in a film into someone else. God says, If you need Me to turn into a dad, I will turn into a dad. If you need Me to turn into a mom, I will turn into a mom. I will be to you whatever you need. Thats a good word for you if there is somebody important missing in your home.

Psalm 68:5 says that God is a father of the fatherless and a judge for the widows. If your son does not have a father, thats not the whole story because God is a Father to the fatherless. He also acts in justice on behalf of a widow.

The Hebrew word for orphan means fatherless. In Israel, a fatherless child was considered an orphan even if he had a mother. Why? Because in the economy of God it was the job of the father to provide for and protect the family. When the father was absent, it made the family vulnerable.

God made a way when there was no way.

The widow who needed Gods special protection was not just a woman whose husband had died. You see, God had made a number of provisions for Israelite women who lost their husbands. A woman who had a grown son to care for her, a blood relative to take her husbands place, or a father to go back home to would not be called a widow in Israel.

A true widow was someone who not only had lost her husband but had no other male to take up his responsibility. When there was no man to step into the gap to protect and provide for a woman, she was called a widow indeed (see 1 Timothy 5:3). God took it upon Himself to protect women in this situation because there was no one else to do it. A woman left alone in the ancient world was vulnerable to be leeched on, misused, and abused. So God said He would act on behalf of defenseless widows.

In Psalm 146:9 we find more good news for single parents: The Lord protects the strangers; He supports the fatherless and the widow; but He thwarts the way of the wicked. God supports and undergirds those who are left alone. He picks up the pieces of their broken lives.