Charles Platkin - Breaking the Pattern: The 5 Principles You Need to Remodel Your Life

Diversion Books
A Division of Diversion Publishing Corp.
443 Park Avenue South, Suite 1008
New York, NY 10016
www.DiversionBooks.com

Copyright 2002, 2005 by Charles Platkin
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the authors imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

For more information, email

First Diversion Books edition February 2015
ISBN: 978-1-62681-697-8

The Automatic Diet
Breaking the Fat Pattern
Lighten Up
The Diet Detectives Diet Starter Kit
The Diet Detectives Calorie Bargain Bible
The Diet Detectives Count Down
The Diet Detectives All American Diet

This book is dedicated to my parents,
who provided me with great role models;
to my friend and mentor Carole McCarthy;
and finally to the person who allowed me to
reflect my true self, my soul mate, Shannon.

There are many people who have given their support during the writing of this book. No one writes a book alone and there are many people whom I wish to thank for their contribution, support, and dedication.

I primarily thank Meridith Abreu for being an amazing critic, editor, and test dummy for the book, as well as for her belief in methrough thick and thin.

I thank Connie deSwann for her patience, her phenomenal editorial capabilities, and her insistence that the writing truly reflect my thoughts.

I thank Brian Frank and Victoria Blake for taking the time to sit at my kitchen table and gather and sort through thousands of pages of research.

Its hard to pinpoint the exact genesis of this book.

In a way, it begins with my life as a thinking adult responsible for making my way in the world. Even though I had some success, I couldnt help but wonder if there were a road map or instruction manual to living rightan infallible guide that would tell me what to do, how to act, and what to avoid. Of course, there was none.

Id been in several romantic relationships that were not successful. Each relationship seemed to end the same way; the personalities of the women shared a common themeand, of course, I blamed them for what went wrong. In addition, I had been fat most of my life. In my 30s, I was nearly 50 pounds overweight. I tried every diet known, but they were all no goodand I blamed the diets. Professionally, I had been involved in several entrepreneurial partnerships. Each partnership ended badly, and all had a common theme. Again, I thought it was all of them that were at fault. I took no responsibility for the fact that I had chosen these women, these diets, and these business partners. It was much easier to make excuses, or to blame others or destiny for my lot in life. In a more concrete way, the idea for this book started as a letter I wrote to a friend I hadnt seen in the 14 years since our graduation from college.

It seemed like a simple task to write Mariejust a newsy missive about what Id been up to since we last saw each other. I envisioned only a few pages. Once I began writing, the simple task grew into a monumental undertaking. If youve lived into your 30s and beyond, you understand how this can happenin telling the news, you become deeply autobiographical and reveal more about yourself than youd expected. At 35 years old, I was ripe for self-reflection and my friend was getting every image of me.

This letter to my friend helped me to see the story of my life a little more clearly. Writing it helped me synthesize and clarify certain issues and thoughts that had long interested me, or patterns of behavior. In fact, Id already put in years of research on certain patterns, such as the effects of an exaggerated fear of failure, how one does or doesnt take responsibility for ones own life, how step-by-step goal-planning works for optimum performance, and the results of various strategies for living a life of achievement. I was very focused on ways to improve my life.

I was trying to figure out how these ideas impact each other and how they could be combined and harnessed positively to bring about greater satisfaction in my own life and in the lives of others. It became clear that to make meaningful changes in my own life, I had to find a way to consciously bring these patterns to the surface for closer examination. To change, I knew I had to not only go wide, but also go very deep.

After years of research, self-reflection, self-examination, and my share of failures, I realized that many of the things occurring in my life were beginning to look familiar. I found something they had in commonthat is, patterns and outcomes I had experienced before, which drove me to the same places that I didnt want to see again. They were repeats. It felt as if I were having that vaguely annoying realization that Ive already seen the film I just rented, remembered that I disliked it the first time, and definitely didnt want to sit through it again.

Of course, I knew that I was not the only one repeating patterns like these. I wanted to know how others dealt with their own patterns, and therefore I started asking questions. Through interviews and discussions with professionals and friends, from reading about the lives of people who had struggled to succeed, and by being an interested observer, Ive learned that most of us repeat and maintain certain patterns throughout our lives, and we often do so unconsciously. The experiences that patterns produce may seem different and unrelated, but if you look at the effects, youll see this sense of difference is an illusion. The experiences may have different casts of characters, or are changed by different times and places in slightly altered circumstances, but if you are still trapped by patterns that dont serve you well, its all the same.

Weve all been there, and have told ourselves time and time again:

• Its that lousy dietI knew it wasnt going to help me lose weight.
• I dont understand it. I always get the worst bosses. Im so unlucky.
• This is my fourth relationship in four years. Arent there any good men out there?

These observations of behaviorothers and my ownled me to an inescapable conclusion that formed the basis of this book:

When we examine our successes and failures honestly and carefully, we can see the outline of very distinct patterns. By being aware of these patterns, we can analyze them, break them down, and focus on not repeating the negative behavior that has led us to failure and disappointment. We can also learn to capitalize on our positive patterns, thereby making huge advances in both our personal and professional lives.

I have found it impossible to break a behavioral pattern by simply wishing or willing it so. For long-term change, the only way to break the pattern is to follow the five critical Principles required for real changeand to change the way you live. The following are the five Principles to help you change and remodel your life:

1. Patterns. Here you will review and evaluate various stages of your life, reflect on those stages and, especially, look for your underlying negative patterns.
2. Failure. To be successful you cant be afraid to risk failure. Failure is an opportunity to learn and grow, and is an integral part of achievement, not separate from it.
3. Responsibility. By focusing on individual responsibility, you can learn to accept the fact that you are responsible for the choices you make in your life. This opens you up to opportunity. Only then is real change possible.