Martha Beck - The Four-Day Win: End Your Diet War and Achieve Thinner Peace

This book is intended as a reference volume only, not as a medical manual. The information given here is designed to help you make informed decisions about your health. It is not intended as a substitute for any treatment that may have been prescribed by your doctor. If you suspect that you have a medical problem, we urge you to seek competent medical help.

Mention of specific companies, organizations, or authorities in this book does not imply endorsement by the author or publisher, nor does mention of specific companies, organizations, or authorities imply that they endorse this book, its author, or the publisher.

Internet addresses and telephone numbers given in this book were accurate at the time it went to press.

2007 Martha Beck

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ISBN-13 9781594866074

ISBN-10 1594866074

eISBN 9781623362317

We inspire and enable people to improve their lives and the world around them.

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This book is dedicated to anyone who has ever felt fat.

T he first people I must thank for contributing to this book are my clients, whose stories make my work endlessly interesting, and whose honesty, courage, and openness I admire more than I can say. Yall know who you are.

I decided to write about this topic through my usual process: bumbling through my own dysfunctions, talking to people I adore, and gradually zeroing in on a topic that made us both swear like pirates and laugh like hyenas. Among these people were: My dear friend Betsy Rapoport, without whose editorial guidance I would be hesitant to write anything at all, and who, as usual, went far beyond the call of duty helping me with this book; my brilliant and hilarious agent, Suzanne Gluck, who took my initial hodgepodge of ideas and unerringly ferreted out the interesting bits; and the fabulous Lisa, who never lets me get away with superficial or half-baked life-coaching claims, and whose energy pushed this project into existence.

Annette Rogers is lavishly gifted with writing talent, compassion, wit, and intellect. She was my first editor on this book, a volunteer subject for various mental and physical exercises. Her editorial feedback is always spot-on, and weirdly, both no-holds-barred and extremely gentle. Shes a priceless jewel of a friend, reader, and writer.

Leigh Haber, my editor at Rodale, has been a proponent and advocate for this book since it was just an idea. Her warmth, humor, and laid-back style, combined with her incredible enthusiasm and quickness, made it a pleasure to write this book at about twice the speed my sluggish self would have achieved on its own. Leighs assistant, Angela Polidoro, has been a gently persistent force guiding The 4-Day Win through production.

The fabulous people at O, The Oprah Magazine, are my writing coaches, diplomatic constructive critics, and deeply respected colleagues. Mamie Healey is such a gifted writer that having her as an editor is almost too good to be true. Amy Grosss brilliance at spotting an interesting topic, and her generosity in giving me permission to be myself, has helped steer my writing and my life. And every day I thank Gayle King and Oprah Winfrey for creating and running a magazine that challenges me to push the limits of my own thinking.

Lisa Talamini, visionary development director for the Jenny Craig company, jumped into my favorite kind of research before I did. I had a blast working with her to create a product to help dieters psychologically. Norma Hubble and Patti Larchet were equally willing to consider this unorthodox idea, and are simply delightful to know.

My life, not just my career, would be heels-up if not for the stalwart comradeship of Kim Barber, Stacey Shively, and Al Preble. Im inspired and motivated by their intense curiosity about human change, their insights into the workings of the mind and body, and most of all, their way of taking even the most delicate, distressing psychological dilemma, and turning it into strings of inappropriate jokes.

John Parker, sage and healer, keeps gluing my physical strength back together so that I can actually type words into a computer. Hes a source of quiet, peace, strength, and encouragement in a high-pressure life. Also (I sense a theme here) the occasional rude joke.

At the eleventh hour, Bill Baugh jumped into the Web site production for this book with superhuman skill and intelligence. He actually made it fun.

Koelle Simpson not only helps run my coaching practice, but has allowed me to benefit from her incredible work with animals. Shes wise beyond her years and full of the incongruous insights that pique my curiosity and give me new perspectives on human behavior.

And then, of course, are the people who lighten my life every day. Despite being innocent guinea pigs born into the constant experimentation of my life, my children, Kat, Adam, and Elizabeth, have somehow managed to transform themselves from completely inarticulate 7-pound plasma pets into three of the most amazing people Ive ever met. Most of all, I thank my partner Karen, who continues to astound me with her level-headed and compassionate wisdom, and without whom my children and I would all be lost in separate statesnot only of the Union, but of despondency, confusion, and neglect.

To all these spectacular individuals, I give my thanks and love. Also unlimited amounts of chocolate. Because thats the kind of diet book this is.

N ot that I think you are. No, no, no. Why, in those pants, with the light behind you, you look positively willowy. But even if you were large enough to have a gravitational field involving four independent moons, and I happened to notice this (unlikely, since Im completely blinded by the solar glare of my own self-consciousness), I would never, ever ask you a question as cruel as this chapter title. Nor would you say such a thing to me, were the tables turned. No, youre only that rude and nasty to the one person you can never escapeyourself.

How many times have you accused yourself of excessive heft and inappropriate texture (squishy)? How many times have you asked, Why am I so damn fat? Id try to estimate the number for myself, but I dont think its possible to count that high. I think that if I programmed my computer to calculate the answer, it would explode.

Anyway, it doesnt matter, because pretty much everyone who asks the question Why am I so damn fat? already knows the answer. After all, its in every magazine and about half the books ever published. While the details of each diet or exercise regimen vary from publication to publication, the basic message of all the vast literature on weight loss is... drum roll... wait for it... this is so exciting...

Youre so damn fat because you eat too much and dont exercise enough, right? If you dont already know this, you and I arent living in the same universe. Weve been pelted with weight-loss instruction from the womb. Some of my friends had parents who offered to pay them for every pound they lostwhen they were only