Dan Barrett - Break free of your rut: 10 steps to discovering and breaking the patterns that dominate your life

BREAK FREE OF YOUR RUT

10 Steps to Discovering and Breaking the Patterns That Dominate Your Life

By Daniel Barrett

Hi.

My name is Daniel Barrett.

I want to talk a little bit about this book, and what it is and what it isnt.

If you are at all like me, youve read more than one self-help book, and if youve done that, youve probably noticed that most self-help books are complete bullshit.

Most self-help books are written by professional marketers as a way of getting you into a sales funnel, or onto a content marketing list, or into someones social media death spiral.

The goal is to get you to give them money. Thats it.

This book isnt like that. Theres no list. Theres no sales funnel. I dont write books for a living, and I dont want to be a self-help guru. I have a real job.

I wrote this book because its the book I needed to read when I was depressed, alone, and stuck in the rut that almost destroyed my life.

Im not a doctor or a psychologist. Im a musician, sometimes an entrepreneur, and sometimes a teacher (the real kind, like at a school. Not the kind that hosts seminars about Actualizing Your Potential.)

Everything in this book comes from things that helped me save my own life. The chapters in here were written after spending countless hours talking with other creative people who had similar issues to my own lack of drive, inability to self-motivate, loneliness, and depression.

I dont care about feel-good bullshit, and I dont care about selling more books. I care about finding things that help me, and other people like me, improve our lives and make awesome stuff.

If what youre looking for are concrete, actionable, real techniques that help real people, this book is for you. If youre stuck in a rut, cant seem to get yourself moving, and are having trouble working towards what you really want out of life, this book is for you.

No sales pitch. No bullshit. I promise.

Thanks.

Dan Barrett

2012

Before we get started, I want to offer a few words of advice on how to use this book.

This book is designed to be part instruction and part self-guided exercise. That means that, in every chapter, there are homework assignments that require your participation.

Its really important that you do these before moving on to each successive chapter.

Why? Because each chapter in this book builds on work done in the previous chapter. Doing the exercises allows you to understand whats going on in your head and increases the effectiveness of the material. If you skip the work, youre not going to get as much from the book.

The goal of this book isnt to get you to buy some new system. It isnt to set you up for coaching or to convince you to come to a seminar.

The purpose of this book is to permanently change your life by giving you access to some of the most powerful emotional and motivational tools I know.

Taking the time to read and digest all the information in this book will make the entire process more effective. And thats the point, right?

I suggest reading one chapter a week. Why such a slow pace?

For one, most chapter have those Homework Assignments that help you incorporate that chapters information into your life.

Leaving a week between chapters also gives you time to practice implementing each chapters lessons. As with all things, simply knowing something doesnt mean you can effectively do it. I know what a perfect jump shot looks like on the basketball court that doesnt mean I can actually perform one.

Practice makes perfect.

Thats not the only reason I recommend a slow pace, though. Ive experimented with implementing rapid changes in my life before. It simply does not work.

Rapid change becomes overwhelming very quickly. If youve ever tried to make a dramatic change in your diet, you know what I mean. Chances are your resolve became weaker as the days went on. Eventually, you fell off the wagon, followed by feelings of guilt and self-recrimination.

Why does this happen? Well, as it turns out, willpower isnt an infinite resource. The more we use it, to force ourselves to go exercise or change our diet, the less we have for everyday stresses and problems.

Therefore, when your kids are screaming for your attention, your boss gives you a new project, or you get stuck in a traffic jam on your way to work, you end up depleting your will power and not having enough left over to use for exercise or your new diet.

Whats the solution, then? The solution is gradual change. Changing gradually leaves you with enough willpower to deal with your everyday life while still addressing the deeper problems that are causing you frustration.

Reading this book at a slow pace makes it much more effective. Slow and steady wins the race.

Why I Care About This Stuff

About five years ago, I entered an extremely dark period in my life. In the space of a year, I lost my father to a heart attack and watched my relationship with the love of my life fall apart. I lost all willpower and motivation, and soon after, lost my job as well. I moved in with my mother for the first time since high school.

I had no direction and no hope. For all intents and purposes, I had lost the will to live.

I came out of it. First, I found a way to get out of bed. Then I found a new job. After a year of struggle, I reignited the personal relationships that were most important to me. I was more successful creatively than I had ever been. I had completely turned my life around.

So What Happened?

To be honest, I wasnt sure. I read so many self-help books that the stack beside my bed was nearly as tall as I was. I found very little that spoke to me. Most of it just told me to believe, or to attract the things you want with the power of positive thinking. I barely had the energy to get up in the morning, so how was I supposed to think positive? I searched for someone that could actually give effective, practical advice.

I started keeping a record of things that worked. I began to modify things I found in books, the internet, and from conversations with others who had similar experiences. I started a blog, and I talked with people from all over the world. I practiced. I refined.

Over time, I made a list of things that seemed to work for myself and hundreds of others. This book is that list, explained.

So thats who I am. Whatever youre going through, Ive been there. Trust me when I tell you that I will not ask you to think positive in this book.

Lets get started, shall we?

Homework Assignment #1: Self-Inventory

Download the following PDF file:

http://bit.ly/self-inventory

If the link doesnt work for any reason, just Google Wheel of Life pdf, and youll find plenty of variations.

For our first exercise, were going to take a self-inventory. This exercise is known as the " Wheel of Life ," and despite its somewhat cheesy-sounding name, it's a great tool for finding out where you are right now.

Thats what a self-inventory is all about: figuring out what your real situation is right now.

Many of our problems have, at their root, a lack of self-knowledge. Youd be surprised at how unaware we are of what is going on inside our own heads. We may feel a sense of unhappiness maybe we feel bored or frustrated but we often dont know whats actually causing those feelings.

Well get into this in more depth during the . However, this week Id like you to work on the following:

1. Complete the Wheel of Life worksheet. There are directions on the sheet.

2. On a sheet of paper, attempt to write down your current life situation in paragraph form. What are your thoughts? The feelings you experience most often? Things in your life that bother you? That you love?