Joe Gibbs - Game Plan for Loss: An Average Joes Guide to Dealing with Grief

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Game Plan for Loss: An Average Joes Guide to Dealing with Grief

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ISBN 978-1-4964-5795-0

Build: 2022-02-14 15:44:45 EPUB 3.0

I VE GIVEN A LOT OF speeches in my life, but none was as important or as difficult as the one I had to make on January 25, 2019. I had been asked by my daughter-in-law, Melissa, to give the opening prayer at the memorial service for her husbandand my sonJ.D.

J.D.s fight with a rare degenerative brain disease took place over the span of five years, during which, little by little, he lost everythingfirst his spark, then his speech, then his movement, and eventually his life. We tried everything to help J.D.doctors, specialists, consortiums, experimental trials, faith-based healing services, physical rehabeverything. But on January 11, 2019, the Lord chose to take J.D. home.

Those five years were the longest and hardest of my entire life. Id been through difficult times before. Ive had financial disasters, professional crises, and even a few health issues of my own, but watching J.D. slowly slip away and not being able to do anything to stop it was the most helpless feeling in the world.

I have spent my entire professional life geared to win, not lose. During my tenure in the NFL, I was fortunate enough to coach the Washington Redskins to three Super Bowl victories, and as a race team owner, our teams have won five NASCAR Cup Series championships. Between football and racing, I have spent more than fifty years trying to figure out how to win. I cant tell you how many late nights I spent crafting game plans against the Cowboys, the Eagles, and the Giants, trying to account for every possible situation.

The same goes for racing. I realize it may look like were just driving around in circles out there, but believe me, there is a lot of planning that goes into race dayfrom calculating fuel mileage to figuring out how many more laps you can get on a given set of tires. Even the temperature and the amount of rubber on the track as the race goes on gets taken into consideration.

The point is, whether youre working between the hash marks or along the oval, if you want to win, youve got to plan for every possible scenario, be prepared for anything, and leave nothingand I mean nothingto chance.

The same goes for life. As a Christian, I believe God gave us the ultimate game plan for success in the Bible, so a little over a decade ago, I brought together a team of top scholars and theologians to help me write what I called Game Plan for Life. In it, we addressed eleven areas that I believe all of us need to have a game plan for in order to win at the game of life, because at the end of the day, thats the biggest game of all.

So why am I writing a book about loss? Well, heres the thing. When J.D. got sick and went to be with the Lord, I did not have a game plan for what I went through. In fact, all the scholars and theologians in the world could not have prepared me for what I was about to face. Frankly, Im not sure anything can prepare you for the pain of watching a loved one slowly slip away. And when the wreckage of those five horrible years finally cleared, I found myself struggling with a lot of questions. Five, to be exact.

Why didnt God show up? Whenever I had faced difficult circumstances before, I always felt as though God was right there beside me, walking through my struggle with me. But during the whole of J.D.s illness, God just did not seem to be there. I tried. I prayed. I literally begged. But I just couldnt see that he was there.

Are we just living a life of chance? I have always believed that God holds all the power, but J.D.s illness made me wonder, does God allow bad things to enter our lives for a reason, or do bad things just randomly happen to us?

Why do Christians suffer? I know Im biased, but J.D. was one of the godliest young men you could ever hope to meet. From the time he could walk and toddle, he always tried to be the right kind of person. Truth be told, he was the real spiritual leader of our family. So why did he have to suffer the way he did?

Why do some Christians suffer more than others? J.D.s battle was not quick, and it was not easy. His wife, Melissa, their four boys, our son Coy and his family, and my wife, Pat, and I watched him slowly slip away over the course of five incredibly long, painful years. It was hard enough losing J.D. as it was. Why didnt the Lord just take him quickly and spare his family and friends the pain of watching him suffer for so long?

And finally, Do we really reap what we sow? The Bible assures us that we do and that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). And as I said before, J.D. lived a godly, Christ-centered life, but no matter how hard I tried, I could not see the good in his leaving us the way he did.

Now, none of these issues caused me to question my salvation or my faith in the Lord. I know He created me and that I belong to Him. But as I stood there waiting to walk onto that stage and lead an auditorium full of J.D.s family and friends in prayer, all of these questions came at me at once. And if I was struggling with them, I figured there was a good chance a lot of other people were struggling with them as well.

This book is my attempt to answer these five questions. And while I did consult with several pastors along the way, the revelations and ideas you are about to read are my answers to these five questions. Im not a scholar or a theologian. In fact, Im about as far away from being an intellectual as you can get. Im just your average Joea dad trying to come to grips with the loss of his son. I hope some of what Ive learned can help you. I know it may not feel like it at the moment, but I promise you, God