Leslie Vernick - How to Find Selfless Joy in a Me-First World

How to Find Selfless Joy in a Me-First World will challenge you to go deeper in your walk with God. Leslie Vernick has done a masterful job of weaving biblical principles on humility with poignant, real-life illustrations that demonstrate how to be an authentic Christ-follower. The carefully chosen quotations and the discussion questions for each chapter make this an ideal choice for small-group studies and will produce transformational results.

C AROL K ENT , president of Speak Up Speaker Services, international speaker, and author of Becoming a Woman of Influence

Vernick cuts to the chase regarding the two most popularand most abusedwords of our culture: love and self. She capably teaches us that lasting joy or satisfaction never, ever comes independent of our Creators intimate plans for us. Through her common-sense approach, we are reminded of the very first lesson many of us heard in church: God is love. Without God, there is no love.

R ONALD T. H ABERMAS , P H .D., McGee Professor of Biblical Studies and Christian Formation, John Brown University, and author of The Complete Disciple

Leslie Vernicks latest book uncovers wisdom that was known to Christians throughout history but has been lost in our contemporary world. She exposes the self-serving, self-boosting advice we receive so constantly from both secular and Christian sources as not only sinful, but useless. It just doesnt work. Her prescription is the same as Jesus: Die to self, serve others, and discover joy. Paradoxically, this is the only route to joy there is.

F REDERICA M ATHEWES -G REEN , commentator for National Public Radio, author, and essayist

Leslie Vernick has done it again! Insightful and inspiring, practical and prophetic, How to Find Selfless Joy in a Me-First World calls Christians to live a life counter to our contemporary self-obsessed culture. If you are serious about being an authentic Christ-follower in the real world, this book is a must-read.

D R . S AMUEL D. R IMA , author of Leading from the Inside Out and Rethinking the Successful Church

How to Find Selfless Joy in a Me-First World offers solid truth about the hardest challenges contemporary Christians face. Leslie reminds us, gently but directly, that only God can be God. Read it and be encouraged!

B RENDA W AGGONER , licensed counselor and author of Fairy Tale Faith

This is a dangerous book! If you read it, you will discover your hidden (or not-so-hidden) me-first living. Has feasting at the table of cheap substitutes dulled your sense of joy and pleasure? If so, this book will enable you to recapture the greater, more fulfilling joy of knowing the presence of God.

P HIL M ONROE , P SY .D., director, M.A. Counseling Program, Biblical Theological Seminary

We have been taught by the world that joy and happiness come wrapped in the illusions of possessions, titles, and positions in life. In How to Find Selfless Joy in a Me-First World, Leslie points us back to the reality that true joy can only be found in God! Through the practical, thought-provoking study included in this book, Leslie challenges us with the knowledge that to find true selfless joy we must strive to know God and be conformed into his image.

S UE R IMA , director of Womens Ministry for the Columbia Baptist Conference

H OW TO F IND S ELFLESS J OY IN A M E -F IRST W ORLD
P UBLISHED BY W ATER B ROOK P RESS
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Colorado Springs, Colorado 80920
A division of Random House, Inc.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked (MSG) are taken from The Message. Copyright by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. Scripture quotations marked (NASB) are taken from the New American Standard Bible . Copyright The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org). Scripture quotations marked (NKJV) are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Details in some anecdotes and stories have been changed to protect the identities of the persons involved.

Copyright 2003 by Leslie Vernick

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

W ATER B ROOK and its deer design logo are registered trademarks of WaterBrook Press, a division of Random House, Inc.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Vernick, Leslie.
How to find selfless joy in a me-first world / Leslie Vernick. 1st ed.
p. cm.
eISBN: 978-0-307-79683-7
1. JoyReligious aspectsChristianity. 2. Christian life. I. Title.
BV4647.J68V47 2003
248.4dc21
2003006168

v3.1

In loving memory of my mother, Joan.

Im so thankful that God brought you back into my life

and allowed me the joy of bringing you to the gates of heaven.

(19332003)

I was once asked to write an article for a Christian magazine on the topic of selflessness. After turning in the first draft, I received an e-mail back from the editor. He praised the work but asked that I expand a section addressing the rewards of selflessness.

The irony made me laugh. Okay, Ill be unselfish, the thinking goes, but if I do that, whats in it for me?

For the apostle Paul, selflessness was a way of life: We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For even Christ did not please himself (Romans 15:1-3).

In fact, Paul took this line of thinking one step further. Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible (1 Corinthians 9:19, emphasis added). Because Pauls writings are so familiar to us, it is easy to miss the astonishing depth to which he was willing to descend to put himself completely at others disposal. Think about it: a slave to everyone?

The extreme to which Paul adhered to this selflessness is, in fact, shocking to modern sensibilities. He tells the Romans that he wishes he could cut himself off from salvation if in doing so he could save Israel (Romans 9:3). Paul was fully aware of the horrors of hellthe physical pain, the emotional angst, the spiritual alienation. Yet how many of us could truly say, If in the twilight of descending to hell I could look over my shoulder and see my unsaved brothers and sisters marching into heaven, I would make that choice?

Where did Paul get this selflessness? How could a man become so others-oriented, so willing to play the role of a servant? Paul took the words of JesusIt is more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35)literally and found that they were true. Throughout his letters, Paul is effusive with his thanks and affection for others. Clearly, his service on their behalf brought tremendous joy to his life: In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy. It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart (Philippians 1:4,7). Pauls affection for others was real; the enjoyment he derived from serving them and sacrificing on their behalf was tangible and at times intense. For I wrote you out of great distress and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to grieve you but to let you know the depth of my love for you (2 Corinthians 2:4). These are not the words of a man who grudgingly serves. These are the words of a man who has found service to be the foundation of the most meaningful life imaginable, fostering an intimacy many of us could only dream about. Ironically, this attitude of selflessness actually creates a fountain of joy that refreshes our faith with meaning and soothes our pain with purpose.