Leslie Vernick - How to Live Right When Your Life Goes Wrong

H OW TO L IVE R IGHT W HEN Y OUR L IFE G OES W RONG
P UBLISHED BY W ATER B ROOK P RESS
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All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by the International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked ( KJV ) are taken from the King James Version. Scripture quotations marked ( MSG ) are taken from The Message. Copyright by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. Scripture quotations marked ( NEB ) are taken from The New English Bible copyright 1961, 1970 by the Delegates of the Oxford University Press and the Syndics of the Cambridge University Press.

Copyright 2003 by Leslie Vernick

Previously published under the title The TRUTH Principle, copyright 2000 by Leslie Vernick.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

W ATER B ROOK and its deer colophon are registered trademarks of Random House Inc.

The Library of Congress has cataloged the previous edition of this book as follows:
Vernick, Leslie.
The TRUTH principle: a life-changing model for spiritual growth and renewal / Leslie Vernick. 1st ed.
p. cm.
eISBN: 978-0-307-56877-9
1. Christian life. 2. ChangeReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Title.
BV4501.2. V415 2000
248.4dc21

99-049838

v3.1

To my parents
R ICHARD AND A LICE B ERG

The author of a book is only one part of the story. In my case, many helpers, wise mentors, encouragers, and friends have prayed for me and contributed to my personal and professional development and my love for God over the years. Without their influence, this book would not have been possible.

Thanks, Dad, for demonstrating hesed, or faithful love, to me. You taught me not to give up and pursued me because I was your daughter, in spite of my rebellion. Mom, thank you for showing me agape, or unconditional love. I was quite unlovable during my early teenage years, yet your steadfastness, which came from your love for God, impacted my soul, and I am forever grateful.

Howard, you believed I could do it long before I even thought I might write a book. Your love and affirmation has ministered healing to me throughout our twenty-five years together. You not only picked up the slack when I was under pressure to meet deadlines, but you never complained either. Ryan and Amanda, you, too, have been encouraging and patient, especially when it looked like Christmas 1998 might be far less than our usual family traditions and celebrations. Thank you.

Theresa Cain, bless you for faithfully praying for me, my ministry, and my family over the years. You are indeed a kindred spirit and a wonderful friend. A special thank-you to Dave and Barb Schindler. You were most kind in letting me use your beach house where I could think, pray, and write.

To my teachers and mentors from the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation (CCEF): a big thank-you for teaching me to think biblically and to train myself to always look at life from Gods point of view. I am indebted to you for challenging me and encouraging me to stick to truth. A special thanks to Ed Welch from CCEF, Lowell Hoffman, Glenna Dameron, and Georgia Shaffer for taking time out of your busy schedules to read through the first draft of my manuscript and for offering me constructive feedback and help. You all were immensely encouraging throughout the writing process.

Id also like to thank my counselors support group, especially Sue Reilley, Christopher Zang, Glenna Dameron, and Sandy Plummer. Without your support and fervent prayers, this dream would never have become a reality. I am also so grateful to CLASS (Christian Leaders and Speakers Services) for introducing me to the publishing world and for generously sharing your wisdom with me.

So many of my clients have enriched my life and taught me to walk in truth. Your commitment to finding God in the midst of your pain has been an inspiration to me. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your journey.

To Erin Healy, my editor: Thanks for your constructive feedback, great encouragement, and light touch. You turned an intimidating process into something I would never have imagined could actually be enjoyable.

And with my whole heart, Lord, I am grateful to you for planting this book in my mind, working it through in my heart, and gently bringing it to fruition.

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth .

3 JOHN 4

For a long time into my Christian experience, I didnt know how to walk in the truth, especially when my life was hard. Periodically I would recommit to trying harder, but my efforts were never consistent. I knew what the Bible said and how it was supposed to change me, but I kept trying to live the Christian life without deeply cultivating my relationship with the One who is Truth.

When we come to Christ for salvation, he gives us the privilege of becoming a part of his family and to experience life in a whole new way. Im afraid, however, that deep in the hearts of many people, nothing much changes after salvation. We still struggle with the same sins, the same problems, the same fears, and the same hurts. Spending personal time with God often feels more like an obligation, a chore, something to check off our to-do list rather than a time to refresh and nourish our soul.

In eighteen years of counseling hurting Christians, I have found that many become weary along the road toward deeper Christian maturity. Some go through cycles of giving up, living it up, and then, when under conviction, trying harder. But change never seems to last very long. Others havent grasped the idea that becoming a Christian should impact the way they think, feel, and act. These people love the theology of once saved always saved but are oblivious to the harder sayings of Jesus, which tell us that if we love him we will obey his commandments. I asked one man whom I was counseling what his relationship with Jesus was like. He said, I got saved when I was a boy, and thats all I need. When I pressed to see whether there was anything more to his Christian life, he looked at me with a blank expression and said, My parents taught me the right way to believe, and I believe it.

Unlike this man, many of us are searching for a deeper and closer relationship with Christ. We long for the intimacy that the psalmist David shared with God. We desire the changed life of the apostle Paul and the power of the Holy Spirit working in us. We are not content merely knowing the right things to believe; instead, we want to see them worked out in our life in practical and real ways, especially when our life is going wrong. We wonder why we dont bear much spiritual fruit, or how we can participate more fully with God in the process of reaching maturity.