Susan Wilkinson - Getting Past Your Past: Finding Freedom from the Pain of Regret

GETTING PAST YOUR PAST
published by Multnomah Publishers, Inc.

2000 by Susan Wilkinson
International Standard Book Number: 1-59052-802-6

Scripture quotations are from:
The Holy Bible, New International Version
1973, 1984 by International Bible Society,
used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House

Also quoted:
New American Standard Bible (NASB)
1960, 1977 by the Lockman Foundation

The Holy Bible, King James Version (KJV)

The Holy Bible Revised Standard Version Bible (RSV)
1946, 1952 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America

New Revised Standard Version Bible (NRSV)
1989 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America

The New Testament in Modern English, Revised Edition (PHP)
1958, 1960, 1972 by J. B. Phillips

Some details in this book (including names of people, cities, and job titles) have been changed.

Multnomah is a trademark of Multnomah Publishers, Inc., and is registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. The colophon is a trademark of Multnomah Publishers, Inc.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwisewithout prior written permission.

For information:
MULTNOMAH PUBLISHERS, INC. 601 N. LARCH ST. SISTERS, OREGON 97759

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:

Wilkinson, Susan.
Getting past your past: finding freedom from the pain of regret / Susan Wilkinson.
p. cm.
ISBN 1-57673-739-X (pbk.)
ISBN 1-59052-802-6
eBook ISBN: 978-0-307-82791-3
1. RegretReligous aspectsChristianity. I. Title
BV4909.W54 2000
248.86dc21

00-010356

v3.1

This book is dedicated to the fight for Joy.

Contents

THIS BOOK has been an immense joy to write. That is due in no small part to the following people. To each a heartfelt thank you.

Dad and Denisefor giving up your home for eight months (!), driving for the carpool, shopping for groceries, cleaning house, maintaining my car, and doing everything in between. Those things alone should qualify you for parents of the year, but there is so much more. You have both played a crucial part in many other areas of my life, especially in my spiritual growth. Dad, you remain my number one cheerleadera vital role for any writer working in solitude. And Denise, were it not for your wisdom, vision, and willingness to be my sounding board, this book may not have been written.

Jeannie and Jefffor your support, patience, carpooling, homework help, and meal preparation, all of which you did joyfully when we suddenly descended upon your life. Without you, this book would not have been completed on time.

Lindsey OConnoryou know, there just arent words, my friend. The Lord knows, and so do I, that if it werent for your encouragement, wisdom, teaching, and willing spirit (not to mention your hidden marketing abilities!) its likely that I would still be waiting to pursue my dream of writing. Thank you for being my mentor and cheerleader. I thank God that you are my kindred spirit.

Grammy and Johnwho would have thought that I would be thanking my grandparents for putting up with my parents for eight months? Thank you for opening your home to my parents so they could open their home to us. I love you both.

Pastor Jeff Moorehead and Mike and Margaret Hentschelfor analyzing my words and making me accountable for them. Your insight and knowledge have been invaluable to me. The time and wisdom you applied to these pages are evident in the final product.

Nancy Robertsonfor taking care of my home in Texas for eight months, but mostly for loving my children and me. You have the most loving servants heart Ive ever had the privilege to know. Having you in my life makes me much richer.

Pam Ahernfor dotting my is and crossing my ts, for struggling to get computer literate just for me, and for taking care of me and loving me when I needed it most.

Kerry Parkerfor being my computer guru (you are the king, baby!) and for keeping me company through long hours of writing and struggling.

Gerard Smithfor knowing exactly what to say and when to say it. Your belief that I have something to say and an interesting way of saying it has given me more courage than you will ever know.

George and Jan Karamfor your encouragement and input, Uncle George. Aunt Jan, your citizenship is in heaven, and I eagerly await my Savior to one day take me to you.

Joy and Joe Wrightfor listening to what I have to say, even when I talk for too long.

John Robertson, Jay Gragg, Becky and David Goodrum, and the whole Londonderry gangfor helping me pack and then loading my truck.

Tim OConnor and Larry Youngfor moving my stuff across country! Your generosity will not be forgotten.

Dave and Anne Andisfor taking care of my home, packing my stuff, and generally being such great help to me.

Bill Jensenfor having the courage to say yes.

David Greenfor the much-needed printer.

Jud and Joe Campofelicefor the computer.

Dr. Paul Looney, Pastor Dave Anderson, and Mark Keoughfor your valuable input and encouragement in the early stages of this project.

Paul, Kacey, Jenni, Beth, Kim, Debra, and An Tranfor generously sharing your stories.

The ORCA Crewfor being so patient with me.

Robert and Jayne Goodfor joyfully giving me the freedom to share more of my story.

My editors at MultnomahKeith Wall for not only having a brilliant editing eye, but for being a teacher and encourager as well; Dan Benson for your beautiful finesse with a pen; and Dr. Judith St. Pierre for not only reading my words, but for listening to my heart. I feel blessed to have such a skillful editing team.

My children, Erica, Louis, and Michael, the lights of my lifefor your extreme patience and support for me while I wrote this book. Arent you glad you dont have to hear the words As soon as the book is finished anymore? Mostly, though, I want to thank you for starting me on the road out of regret. I hope that one day you can fully understand just how much each of you means to me and how very much you are cherished.

Last and most importantly, thank you, my Father. This book is from You, through You, and to You. To You belong all glory, honor, and praise.

Part One

T HE
T RAGEDY

WE ALL have a story to tell. Yours might be simple or complex, dramatic or dull, predictable or adventurous; but because you picked up this book, its a safe bet that regret is a part of it. Perhaps youve made unwise and unhealthy choices, and now youre suffering the consequences. Youve tried to leave your past behind and move forward, but you just cant seem to do it. Lets face it: Regret doesnt let go easily. Nevertheless, I can say with confidence that it is possible to break free of it. I know because, like you, I have a story to tell.