Gift 2. Accepting Yourself and Others
Andrews, Lynn. Love & Power. New York: Harper Perennial, 1998.
Beattie, Melody. Journey to the Heart. San Francisco: Harper San Francisco, 1996.
Buscaglia, Leo. Love. New York: Fawcett Books, 1996.
Karon, Jan. At Home in Midford. New York: Penguin Books, 1994.
Rogers, Carl. On Becoming a Person. New York: Mariner Books, 1995.
Rothwell, J. Dan. In the Company of Others. Mountain View, Calif.: Mayfield, 2000.
Gift 3. Communicating for Connection
Adler, Ron, and Neil Towne. Looking Out, Looking In. Belmont, Calif.: Wadsworth, 2002.
Allen, Patricia. Staying Married and Loving It. New York: William Morrow, 1997.
Ellis, D. G. From Language to Communication. Hillsdale, N.J.: Lawrence Erlbaum, 1992.
Peck, M. Scott. The Road Less Traveled. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1978.
Pennebaker, James W. Opening Up: The Healing Power of Confiding in Others. New York: Avon, 1990.
Powell, John. The Secret of Staying in Love. New York: Argus, 1994.
Samovar, Larry A., and Richard E. Porter. Intercultural Communication. Belmont, Calif.: Wadsworth, 2000.
Tannen, Deborah. You Just Dont Understand. New York: Ballantine, 1990.
Gift 4. Listening for Understanding
Adler, Ron, and Neil Towne. Looking Out, Looking In. Belmont, Calif.: Wadsworth, 2002.
Axline, Virginia M. Dibs in Search of Self. New York: Ballantine, 1992.
Ben-Zeev, Aaron. The Subtlety of Emotions. Cambridge, Mass.: MIT, 2000.
Blanchard, Margaret. From the Listening Place. Portland, Me.: Astarte Shell, 1997.
Gordon, Thomas. Parent Effectiveness Training. New York: Three Rivers, 2000.
Lewis, Michael. Handbook of Emotions. New York: Guilford, 2000.
Nichols, Michael. The Lost Art of Listening . New York: Guildford, 1996.
Wolvin, Andrew D.. Listening. Madison, Wisc.: Brown Benchmark, 1996.
Gift 5. Asking Questions
Adler, Ron, and Neil Towne. Looking Out, Looking In. Belmont, Calif.: Wadsworth, 2002.
Beebe, S. Family Talk. New York: Random House, 1986.
Bolton, Robert. People Skills. New York: Simon & Schuster, 2000.
Gordon, Sol. Is There Anything I Can Do? New York: Dell, 1996.
Knapp, Mark L., and Anita L. Vangelisti. Interpersonal Communication and Human Relationships. Boston: Allyn & Bacon, 2000.
Gift 6. Flowing with Conflict
Adler, Ronald B. Interplay. New York: Harcourt Press, 2001.
Fujishin, Randy. Creating Effective Groups. Lanham, Md.: Rowman & Littlefield, 2001.
Jones, Riki Robbins. Negotiating Love. New York: Ballantine, 1995.
Stewart, John Robert. Bridges, Not Walls. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2001.
Wilmot, William and, Joyce Hocker. Interpersonal Conflict. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2001.
Gift 7. Forgiving Others
Church, Forrest. Life Lines. Boston: Beacon, 1996.
Klein, Charles. How to Forgive When You Cant Forget. New York: Berkeley, 1997.
Kbler-Ross, Elisabeth. On Death and Dying. London: Macmillan, 1969.
Simon, Sidney B., and Suzanne Simon. Forgiveness. New York: Warner, 1991.
Smedes, Lewis B. Forgive and Forget. San Francisco: Harper San Francisco, 1996.
Gift 8. Enlarging Others
Carnegie, Dale. How to Win Friends and Influence People. New York: Spire, 1936.
Garner, Alan. Conversationally Speaking. New York: McGraw Hill, 1998.
Gattuso, Joan M. A Course in Love. San Francisco: Harper San Francisco, 1997.
Hendrick, C. Romantic Love. Newbury Park, Calif.: Sage, 1991.
McGinnis, Alan Loy. The Friendship Factor. New York: Argus, 1991.
Trenholm, Sarah. Interpersonal Communication. Belmont, Calif.: Wadsworth, 2000.
Gift 9. Showing You Care
Anderson, Peter. Nonverbal Communication. Mountain View, Calif.: Mayfield, 1999.
Cane, William. The Art of Hugging. New York: St. Martins, 1996.
Colton, Helen. The Gift of Touch. New York: Kensington, 1996.
Hall, Edward T. The Silent Language. New York: Ballantine, 1990.
Knapp, Mark L., and Judith A. Hall. Nonverbal Communication in Human Interaction. Belmont, Calif.: Wadsworth, 2001.
Kottler, Jeffrey A. The Language of Tears. San Francisco, Jossey-Bass, 1996.
Montagu, Ashley. Touching. New York: HarperCollins, 1986.
Gift 10. Encouraging Growth
Ban Breathnach, Sarah. Simple Abundance. New York: Warner, 1995.
Gallagher, Winnifred. Just the Way You Are. New York: Random House, 1996.
Gordon, Arthur. A Touch of Wonder. Old Tappan, N.J.: Spire Books, 1990.
Lindbergh, Anne Morrow. Gift from the Sea. New York: Pantheon, 1955.
Afterword
Knowledge is useless until it is put into practice.
John F. Kennedy
The knock at the door came as I was getting ready to leave my office for the day. I welcomed the visitor and offered him a chair. He was a former student from my relationship class and he shook my hand enthusiastically and smiled cheerfully. I didnt recall Reggie ever being particularly enthusiastic or cheerful. Most of the semester he appeared reluctant, almost antagonistic, toward me and the activities I required of the students in the relationship course. Frankly, I was surprised by his visit.
I just had to stop by and say thanks for last semester, he began.
Youre welcome. Hows it been going, Reggie? I asked.
Really good. You know all those gifts you had us do in class? Well, I really didnt do them all. I made up some of my homework reports, he admitted.
Oh, really?
Yeah. I coutdnt get into the class much. It just seemed too lame. But I stuck it out because my mom forced me to. But something happened this past semester. I saw my dad when he came to California for a visit. He and my mom have been divorced since I was two, and Ive only seen him a couple of times, Reggie confided.