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Randy Fujishin - Gifts from the Heart: 10 Ways to Build More Loving Relationships

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Randy Fujishin Gifts from the Heart: 10 Ways to Build More Loving Relationships
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Gifts from the Heart: 10 Ways to Build More Loving Relationships: summary, description and annotation

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Gifts from the Heart helps students learn, practice, and improve ten fundamental communication skills needed for any long-term relationship. Each skill is presented as a gift students give rather than as a behavior they implement empowering students to participate more fully in their relationships. Engaging opening stories place the concepts and skills in a real-world context. With a conversational and student-friendly writing style, each chapter focuses on one essential communication skill that can dramatically enhance students connections with their romantic partners, family members, and friends. Application-oriented and jargon-free, Gifts from the Heart is grounded in specific, manageable, and directed activities designed to immediately enhance relationships. Includes memorable acronyms, Guidelines, and Personal Explorations and Practice Giving Exercises. Instructors Manual and Test Bank available.

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Table of Contents Acknowledgments Many people have contributed to the - photo 1
Table of Contents

Acknowledgments

Many people have contributed to the creation of this book. My deepest appreciation goes to Robin Romer, my editor, for her expert guidance and gentle sense of balance, and to Brian Romer, field publisher for Rowman & Littlefield, for his belief in this book and his friendship.

Thank you to Evelyn Mercer, Southwest Baptist University; Willie Johnson, Normandale Community College; and Bonnie Fraser, Champlain College, for their insightful contributions to this second edition.

To my mother and father, for giving me the gift of love. To my four sisters, Diane, Melanie, Nanette, and Teresa, for their love and encouragement throughout the years. And to Paul Sanders for being my brother in this lifetime.

My deepest love to my sons, Jared and Tyler, for being joyous gifts of happiness and wonder. Finally, to my wife, Vicky, my most precious gift of all. It is to Vicky, Tyler, and Jared that I dedicate this book.

Also by Randy Fujishin

Creating Communication*
Creating Effective Groups*
The Natural Speaker

*Published by Rowman & Littlefield

Bibliography
Gift 1. Giving in Relationships

Adler, Ron, and Neil Towne. Looking Out, Looking In. Belmont, Calif.: Wadsworth, 2002.

Chapman, Gary. The Five Languages of Love. Chicago, Ill.: Northfield, 1995.

Dass, Ram. How Can I Help? New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1985.

Kingma, Daphne. Finding True Love. Berkeley, Calif.: Conary Press, 1996.

Kinkade, Thomas. Lightposts for Living. New York: Warner, 1999.

Moore, Thomas. Soul Mates. New York: HarperCollins, 1995.

Stewart, John Robert. Bridges, Not Walls. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2001.

Viorst, Judith. Necessary Losses. New York: Firestone, 1998.

Williamson, Marianne. A Return to Love. New York: HarperCollins, 1992.

Gift 2. Accepting Yourself and Others

Andrews, Lynn. Love & Power. New York: Harper Perennial, 1998.

Beattie, Melody. Journey to the Heart. San Francisco: Harper San Francisco, 1996.

Buscaglia, Leo. Love. New York: Fawcett Books, 1996.

Karon, Jan. At Home in Midford. New York: Penguin Books, 1994.

Rogers, Carl. On Becoming a Person. New York: Mariner Books, 1995.

Rothwell, J. Dan. In the Company of Others. Mountain View, Calif.: Mayfield, 2000.

Gift 3. Communicating for Connection

Adler, Ron, and Neil Towne. Looking Out, Looking In. Belmont, Calif.: Wadsworth, 2002.

Allen, Patricia. Staying Married and Loving It. New York: William Morrow, 1997.

Ellis, D. G. From Language to Communication. Hillsdale, N.J.: Lawrence Erlbaum, 1992.

Peck, M. Scott. The Road Less Traveled. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1978.

Pennebaker, James W. Opening Up: The Healing Power of Confiding in Others. New York: Avon, 1990.

Powell, John. The Secret of Staying in Love. New York: Argus, 1994.

Samovar, Larry A., and Richard E. Porter. Intercultural Communication. Belmont, Calif.: Wadsworth, 2000.

Tannen, Deborah. You Just Dont Understand. New York: Ballantine, 1990.

Gift 4. Listening for Understanding

Adler, Ron, and Neil Towne. Looking Out, Looking In. Belmont, Calif.: Wadsworth, 2002.

Axline, Virginia M. Dibs in Search of Self. New York: Ballantine, 1992.

Ben-Zeev, Aaron. The Subtlety of Emotions. Cambridge, Mass.: MIT, 2000.

Blanchard, Margaret. From the Listening Place. Portland, Me.: Astarte Shell, 1997.

Gordon, Thomas. Parent Effectiveness Training. New York: Three Rivers, 2000.

Lewis, Michael. Handbook of Emotions. New York: Guilford, 2000.

Nichols, Michael. The Lost Art of Listening . New York: Guildford, 1996.

Wolvin, Andrew D.. Listening. Madison, Wisc.: Brown Benchmark, 1996.

Gift 5. Asking Questions

Adler, Ron, and Neil Towne. Looking Out, Looking In. Belmont, Calif.: Wadsworth, 2002.

Beebe, S. Family Talk. New York: Random House, 1986.

Bolton, Robert. People Skills. New York: Simon & Schuster, 2000.

Gordon, Sol. Is There Anything I Can Do? New York: Dell, 1996.

Knapp, Mark L., and Anita L. Vangelisti. Interpersonal Communication and Human Relationships. Boston: Allyn & Bacon, 2000.

Gift 6. Flowing with Conflict

Adler, Ronald B. Interplay. New York: Harcourt Press, 2001.

Fujishin, Randy. Creating Effective Groups. Lanham, Md.: Rowman & Littlefield, 2001.

Jones, Riki Robbins. Negotiating Love. New York: Ballantine, 1995.

Stewart, John Robert. Bridges, Not Walls. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2001.

Wilmot, William and, Joyce Hocker. Interpersonal Conflict. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2001.

Gift 7. Forgiving Others

Church, Forrest. Life Lines. Boston: Beacon, 1996.

Klein, Charles. How to Forgive When You Cant Forget. New York: Berkeley, 1997.

Kbler-Ross, Elisabeth. On Death and Dying. London: Macmillan, 1969.

Simon, Sidney B., and Suzanne Simon. Forgiveness. New York: Warner, 1991.

Smedes, Lewis B. Forgive and Forget. San Francisco: Harper San Francisco, 1996.

Gift 8. Enlarging Others

Carnegie, Dale. How to Win Friends and Influence People. New York: Spire, 1936.

Garner, Alan. Conversationally Speaking. New York: McGraw Hill, 1998.

Gattuso, Joan M. A Course in Love. San Francisco: Harper San Francisco, 1997.

Hendrick, C. Romantic Love. Newbury Park, Calif.: Sage, 1991.

McGinnis, Alan Loy. The Friendship Factor. New York: Argus, 1991.

Trenholm, Sarah. Interpersonal Communication. Belmont, Calif.: Wadsworth, 2000.

Gift 9. Showing You Care

Anderson, Peter. Nonverbal Communication. Mountain View, Calif.: Mayfield, 1999.

Cane, William. The Art of Hugging. New York: St. Martins, 1996.

Colton, Helen. The Gift of Touch. New York: Kensington, 1996.

Hall, Edward T. The Silent Language. New York: Ballantine, 1990.

Knapp, Mark L., and Judith A. Hall. Nonverbal Communication in Human Interaction. Belmont, Calif.: Wadsworth, 2001.

Kottler, Jeffrey A. The Language of Tears. San Francisco, Jossey-Bass, 1996.

Montagu, Ashley. Touching. New York: HarperCollins, 1986.

Gift 10. Encouraging Growth

Ban Breathnach, Sarah. Simple Abundance. New York: Warner, 1995.

Gallagher, Winnifred. Just the Way You Are. New York: Random House, 1996.

Gordon, Arthur. A Touch of Wonder. Old Tappan, N.J.: Spire Books, 1990.

Lindbergh, Anne Morrow. Gift from the Sea. New York: Pantheon, 1955.

Afterword

Knowledge is useless until it is put into practice.

John F. Kennedy

The knock at the door came as I was getting ready to leave my office for the day. I welcomed the visitor and offered him a chair. He was a former student from my relationship class and he shook my hand enthusiastically and smiled cheerfully. I didnt recall Reggie ever being particularly enthusiastic or cheerful. Most of the semester he appeared reluctant, almost antagonistic, toward me and the activities I required of the students in the relationship course. Frankly, I was surprised by his visit.

I just had to stop by and say thanks for last semester, he began.

Youre welcome. Hows it been going, Reggie? I asked.

Really good. You know all those gifts you had us do in class? Well, I really didnt do them all. I made up some of my homework reports, he admitted.

Oh, really?

Yeah. I coutdnt get into the class much. It just seemed too lame. But I stuck it out because my mom forced me to. But something happened this past semester. I saw my dad when he came to California for a visit. He and my mom have been divorced since I was two, and Ive only seen him a couple of times, Reggie confided.

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