Patti Normile - Letting Go of Envy

Letting Go of Envy Patti Normile Introduction The color green has long been associated with envy for good reason. Sick persons sometimes look pale, perhaps tinged with a sickly hue of green. Emotional, physical, and spiritual illness can arise from unbridled envy, thus the envy-green connection. Because envy can be a serious malady, it is often referred to as a deadly sin. The frightening deadliness of extreme envy is revealed on those tragic occasions when a love relationship ends, and the jilted person kills the one who has been lost. Likewise, school shootings often occur as the result of the shooter envying the popularity of others to a deadly degree.

These are extreme examples, of course, but ordinary family hostilities can fume when siblings feel unfairness exists in family relationships. Friends may become estranged when one acquires a new friend, and the old friend feels left out. Workplace antagonism can be fostered when a co-worker receives a promotion for which another had hoped. So, what are the symptoms of envy? Envy is marked by an unquenchable desire for what another person possesses or is perceived to have. That desire may focus on material possessions and wealth, physical traits such as beauty or athleticism, musical or artistic talents, relationship skills, plus a myriad of other qualities or possessions that one person has and another desires. Thomas Aquinas described envy as sorrow for anothers good.

Resentment and anger arise when envy is not recognized and addressed. The envier may become obsessed with what she perceives as her lack of what another has. Envy can hold the individual in its grip like a vicegrasping and unrelenting. Seeking the source and healing the wound of envy is essential to happiness. This book aims to help you do both. After all, God desires the happiness of us all (cf.

Psalm 37:4; 84:12). Lacking belief in ones own worth plants seeds of envy. When one feels inadequate, falling into the trap of envy is a grave danger. Being realistic conquers the temptation to envy. Michael says, Ive never envied what I couldnt have. I was born wanting things I couldnt have.

I just work harder than the normal person to get what I want. I have never been jealous of something I knew I couldnt have. Michael believes in himself and works to achieve what he desires. You are at peace in the hermitage of yourself. Larry McMurtry, By Sorrows River Who am I, Lord? Please show me who I am deep inside the hermitage of myself. When I realize that I am your creationfearfully, wonderfully madeI am free to be myself.

I am free to grow into the person you have created me to be. I need not covet what others possess. I only need to grow into my own true being. Amen. Because envy is not at all an admirable trait, we tend to avoid even considering that it might lurk within ourselves. Me? Envious? No way! Reality indicates, however, that envy may sneak past our personal defenses when we least expect it. How can we recognize the initial promptings of envy? An appreciative look or thought directed toward what another possesses can raise a thought: Why should he have such good luck, and I dont? Be honest.

Envy has often reared its unpleasant head. Admitting it is the only way to successfully resist it. The spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. Romans 8:26 Lord, I dont want to become scrupulous, but I do ask your guidance in recognizing times when appreciation for what another person possesses might evolve into envy. Please keep me mindful, Lord. Amen. Susans friendship with Jane had changed.

Whenever they gathered with friends, Jane snipped and snapped at Susan, attempting to make her look inferior. It was puzzling until a friend observed, Shes envious of you, Susan. Youre attractive, happily married, great kids, well-educatedwhile she is struggling. Perhaps you can recognize such circumstances in some of your own relationships. Like Susan, you can choose not to react to such possible manifestations of envy, and act instead with self-assured kindness. In everything, do to others as you would have them do to you.

Matthew 7:12 Do I act or react when another person either subtly or harshly attempts to harm my sense of self-worth? Help me, Lord, to use that old method of counting to 10 while waiting to act rather than quickly reacting. What is the source of the others animosity? It might be envy. What part can I play in remedying that? Envy and jealousy are similar, yet there is a distinction between them. Jealousy stems from fear that what we have might be taken from uswhether it is a relationship, a position, or a possession. Therefore, jealousy can dampen relationships. Generosity, or the willingness to share what we may hold dear, removes the grasping tendency of jealousy.

Envy, on the other hand, involves what we perceive to not have. Seeing a quality or a possession that belongs to another that we may feel we lack can arouse envy. Gratitude is the antidote for envyreflect on the gifts and talents we are blessed to possess, and thank God for them. Job found peace only when he stopped obsessing and comparing his life with others. He let go and let God be God. Michael Leach, Soul Seeing, National Catholic Reporter Am I willing to remember that God is God and I am not? In what ways might I relinquish my godly ways of entertaining envy for the job my neighbor got, the house my brother bought, the friendships others seem to cultivate? I need your help, Lord, to recognize and to relinquish feelings of envy and jealousy. You alone provide what I need.

Amen. From toddler years to adulthood, people commented on Pattys beauty. Those comments stung her sister, Madeleine. She was unable to treasure her own unique beauty because of the envy she felt for Pattys extraordinary good looks. Despite these feelings, when Patty developed multiple sclerosis, Madeleine ministered to her sistergiving massages, and caring in every way. Caring conquered envy, and the inner beauty of both sisters truly emerged. If there were no envy, but only love if each should count and feel his neighbors good to be his own gain, this earth would already be a heaven.

William Arnot, Illustrations of the Book of Proverbs What we see can sometimes deceive us into undervaluing ourselves, thereby producing envy. When we see anothers physical beauty, we must not judge our own to be less. Look for the beauty withinwithin others and within ourselves. Look into a mirror. Who do you see? Hopefully, you will see a wondrous person created in Gods own image.