Sidra Jafri - The Awakening: 9 Principles for Finding the Courage to Change Your Life

My deepest and heartfelt appreciation to the following:

My parents, Mr and Mrs Jafri because of them, I am who I am.

My sisters, Bushra and Zara, who stood by me at all times.

My sons, Zain and Hussain, who are wise beyond their ages.

All my teachers, who believed in me before I did.

My ex-husband, Shiraz Zaidi, and his entire family, for all their love and support throughout my journey.

My clients and Awakening participants, who helped to create this book by using the tools and giving me feedback on the best processes to share.

Jo Lal and her team, a Godsend of angels, who showed up at the right time when I was ready to take the Awakening to the world.

Team Awakening, who work around the clock to make Awakening tools accessible around the globe!

I have long believed that the best people to guide, teach and heal others through key experiences and traumas are those who have been through similar challenges. The best bereavement counsellors have lost a loved one; a brilliant addiction specialist is one who has had an addiction. The most effective therapists and teachers are often those who have been through a great deal themselves. They have been there and come out the other side.

In my twenties I went on a journey of self-discovery. I needed to because I felt all areas of my life were a mess. I sought out books, teachers and healers. In effect I rebuilt myself. My life changed dramatically. I know first-hand how the right tools can bring dramatic, wonderful change.

I love Sidras book. She openly shares her traumatic experiences and her journey of self-discovery, including a wealth of case studies, stories and techniques. You do not need to spend years (as I did) searching for the right teachers and techniques; Sidras research offers you now a wonderful opportunity to clear the past and rebuild your life and your future.

Dont just read this book; work your way through it, make notes, go back and do certain exercises again. That way you will gain so much more.

When I work with people I usually find they are stuck at a certain point or area in their life. Wherever you are right now, however well or not you are doing, there will be something in this book to help create a shift.

I have worked in this field for over 40 years and these days rarely find anything new and fresh, but this book is an exception. Sidras honest approach and a perfect balance of self-awareness and healing techniques will help you to move forward to a better life.

Anne Jirsch
Author of Create Your Perfect Future

It is no accident that you picked up this book.

It may be that on some level you already know that its time for a change. Perhaps you are living a life you didnt choose or a career someone else thought would be a good idea, or are now following a particular path because you thought thats what you were supposed to do; what was expected of you. You may also notice how, in certain situations, you sound just like your mother or react exactly like your father, without even thinking about it. Perhaps you have started to notice that some of your behaviours are self-sabotaging or you have acquired habits that you cant seem to shake. Or you are simply aware that your life doesnt feel like yours or have a disquieting sense that your life is not everything it could be.

You may even have started to realize, as I did, that you are living what I call a programmed life by which I mean a life you didnt consciously choose but are unsure of how to break free from those binds and reclaim the life you want. Awakening will show you a way to take charge of your life once again, and the first step on the path is to recognize all those beliefs, behaviours and values that dont belong to you which developed as a result of your upbringing: family traditions, cultural background, education, environment, gender, religious beliefs and other social pressures.

Once you do this, youll be ready to create new empowering ones beliefs, behaviours and values that will propel you forward in life. So, to discover the true meaning of Awakening, you must first spy on your life and begin observing your reactions and behaviours. In so doing, you will become aware of all the programs and plug-ins that have been directing your life thus far. However, Awakening is not an event or a set of rules to follow; it is a process that helps you to separate other peoples issues from your own and allows you to take full responsibility and charge of your life.

Before my Awakening, I felt disconnected and hollow. It didnt occur to me to question why I wasnt enjoying life. I thought it was just the way things were. I looked around and saw many other people doing the same and simply accepted things as they were. Without realizing it, I was living my life according to others expectations, opinions, feelings and experiences.

Since Awakening I have lived according to my own truth, instead of being pulled along by an invisible undercurrent. I feel blessed that I understand how to be happy and I want to honour this knowledge by sharing what I call the Nine Principles of Awakening with you, so that you can also have the courage to acknowledge and live with the truth of who you really are. I discovered, as you will too, that lifes most challenging lessons are the ones that eventually set you free. Youll discover it is no coincidence that the Awakening has found you when you need it the most, just as it found me.

I look forward to being your guide on your journey of Awakening.

Sidra Jafri

Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.

Carl Jung

The only source of knowledge is experience.

Albert Einstein

On a warm summers day in 2002, I woke up in bed and couldnt believe that I was still alive. My head was groggy from the overdose of sleeping pills Id taken and every muscle in my body felt stiff and raw. I couldnt speak or move, even to open my eyes. Drifting in and out of consciousness, I found myself in a peaceful state of bliss. At that moment, something lit up inside my head and I watched as my entire life story was projected, like a movie in my minds eye. I viewed scenes from my family life, conversations with friends, arguments and snapshots of moments that defined the choices and decisions Id made. Watching myself play the starring role in my very own blockbuster, I felt oddly clearheaded and detached. Being an observer with no emotional involvement, I suddenly knew what had been causing me so much pain not wanting to be here was not new but something I had lived with all my life.

I was born into a middle-class family in Karachi, Pakistan. When my mother was pregnant with me she prayed for a boy. She already had a daughter, but in that culture boys are considered to be an investment in the future while girls are a liability. This feeling of being unwanted later manifested as headaches, nausea and stomach aches. While still only a young girl at school, I displayed neurotic patterns and sought relief in food, self-harming and anything else that would put me at the centre of my parents world. Of course they did take notice, but not in the way that Id hoped. By the time I took my first degree I was an emotional wreck. To others, everything appeared to be fine on the surface, but underneath I was struggling.