Table of Contents
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For all my teachers,
especially Gehlek Rimpoche and Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche
and
for all my students,
especially the OMmies
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Thank you to Melvin McLeodwithout his initial encouragement, generosity, and guidance as well as the opportunity to write a yoga column in the Shambhala Sun for the past three years, this book would not exist.
Way back when, my dear student Jean Gallagher, who is a writing teacher and poet, read my first little work in progress. She helped me make it so much better, and she liked it! To her I make a low gassho.
I am very grateful to Shayna Samuels for actually putting me on a schedule, nudging me about deadlines, and then editing the whole book twice before it even went to the publisher.
Much appreciation to my patient and supportive editor, Amy Hertz, for her passion for yoga, dharma sisterhood, and two crucial pieces of advice that were just what I needed. Her assistant, Marc Haeringer, has been so helpful every step of the way.
A huge thank-you to my agent, Sarah Jane Freyman, who told me there was a book inside me and gave me the tools to unearth it.
Hugs and bows to Catherine Lippincott, publicist and yogini, and Brian Liem, OM Yoga Centers director of programming as well as an OM yoga teacher, for being the yoga models in this book. Margi Young and Jennifer Brilliant were the sharp and kind eagle eyes for our asanas.
I offer sincere thanks to the fine, committed, and talented yoga teachers at OM Yoga Center who use their hearts and hands in equal measure to share this practice of yoga and Buddhist teachings with all of our students.
Thank you also to all the front desk folks and those who have held down the fort in the back office each time I vanished to work on this book.
The people at OM that play the part of students are truly why OM is a home and a family. We have been through so much together and I can never express how much you all mean to me. Thanks for letting me try out all these stories on you and for coming along on the ride.
I have been extremely fortunate to learn about yoga and life from many teachers and I am grateful to them all, especially the sweet and smart Judith Lasater and the masterful Rodney Yee.
I thank my dear dad for a talent for movement, a knack for communicating, and a spiritual yearning that shows up as joy. He inspired me always. I thank my mom for her quiet and steady supportit gives me confidence and comfort.
David Nichtern is not just my number one advisor and most excellent husband, but a brilliant dharma teacher who introduced me to the teachings of Chogyam Trungpa and changed my life forever. Thank you for meeting my mind again and again and again.
ONE
AWAKENED UNION
Body, Breath, and Mind
It came without warning right at the beginning of the day trip down the river. I really dont like water, and I am a weak, underconfident swimmer at best. But people I trusted said it was fun and not scary at all. If you did fall out, you would land on a little rock and immediately be picked up in the next boat. So I went and on the very first bend in the river, I slid out. There was no warning and no big inhale before plunging into icy cold, wildly churning water. And then there I was, trapped under a rubber boat in the whitewater rapids of the Pacuare River in Costa Rica.
No breath in my lungs and nobody can see where I am. I thought, Wow, this is how it happens, and I visualized a small article in the New York Times Yoga Teacher Drowns While Leading Retreat in Costa Rica. My mind raced and my lungs got tight but, somehow, I didnt panic.
The yoga, breathing, and meditation practices that I had been doing for years prepared me for that very moment. Breath awareness, manipulation, and retention practice allowed me to intuitively know that I could go without breath for way longer than was comfortable. My daily twisting and inverting enabled me to know what was up and down and to maintain a highly fluid sense of balance. Meditation had trained me to stay focused on the task at hand, even while thoughts of my own death were running rampant through my head. I groped my way along the bottom of the boat and popped up into the rapids.
A very long minute later, a bodybuilder/yoga student floated by, grabbed me by the collar, and plopped me into his boat. Gehlek Rimpoche, a Tibetan lama, had taught me that to meet the teachings of the Buddha in your lifetime is as fortunate and rare as a tortoises head popping up into an inner tube in the middle of the ocean. In that moment I felt just like that tortoise. Sitting in the haven of boat #2, my heart hammering, my adrenaline rushing, my lungs gasping, I was as scared as Ive ever been. But when I was under the boat I was not scared. I was wide awake, balanced, and steady. Mindfulness meditation, yoga postures, and breath awareness are all powerful practices that can affect our lives deeply, but there is no doubt in my mind that in this life-threatening moment, it was the combination of all three that saved my life.
I am passionate about yoga and have been fortunate to share it with many students over the past twenty years. I have been a student of Tibetan Buddhism for more than ten years and it has been a natural evolution for the two lineages to merge in my teaching. Yoga and Buddhism offer insights and experiences that complement each other and together complete a basic homework assignment for humanswhat do I do with this body and this mind?
MEDITATION
Back in 1972 I started taking yoga classes for an easy P.E. credit in college. The feeling of being cleansed, like taking a shower from the inside out, was unmatched by any other kind of exercise I had experienced and that is still true for me today, even after twenty years of professional dancing. My teachers were inspiring and I was highly motivated. It didnt take long for me to be able to hold my breath for over a minute, or to stand on my head for five minutes. I was hooked.
But I got left behind when it came to the spiritual part. I just didnt get it, or, as a friend of mine said, it didnt get me. My teachers quoted Patanjali, author of the Yoga Sutra, who wrote, Yoga is the cessation of the fluctuations of the mind. Then they turned off the lights and said, Close your eyes and dont move a muscle. They sat up very erect, shut their lids, and seemed to somehow plug into a big bliss cloud of happiness. I tried it, too, but my mind did not cease to fluctuate. I had many thoughts and not all of them were happy. After all the detailed instructions about how to work with my body, I felt abandoned by the lack of information relating to my mind. I did my best to try to feel at least pleasant, but then the class was over. Walking down the street, my body was strong, clean, juicy, and open, but I felt inadequate and cranky.