Gerald G. Jampolsky - Forgiveness: The Greatest Healer of All

Copyright 1999, 2007 by Gerald C. Jampolsky

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions hereof in any form whatsoever without the prior written permission of Atria Books/Beyond Words Publishing, Inc., except where permitted by law.

Editor: Hal Zina Bennett
Managing editors: Kathy Matthews, Lindsay S. Brown
Proofreader: Marvin Moore
Design: Principia Graphica, Sara E. Blum
Compositions: William H. Brunson Typography Services

First Atria Paperback/Beyond Words trade paperback edition October 2007

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Manufactured in the United States of America

10 9 8 7 6 5 4

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:
Jampolsky, Gerald G.

Forgiveness : the greatest healer of all / Gerald G. Jampolsky.

p. cm.

1. Forgiveness. 2. Conduct of life. I. Title.

BJ1476.J35 1999

179 .9dc21

99-16386

CIP

ISBN: 978-1-58270-020-5
eISBN-13: 978-1-45166-302-0

The corporate mission of Beyond Words Publishing, Inc.: Inspire to Integrity

This book is dedicated to my wife, soul mate, and life partner, Diane V. Cirincione, Ph.D., who has so strongly demonstrated and taught me what is beyond my imagination about the power of Gods love and forgiveness in our life together.

ONE
The Roots of Unhappiness

TWO
What Is Forgiveness?

THREE
The Unforgiving Mind

FOUR
The Top Twenty Reasons Why We Dont Forgive

FIVE
Removing the Obstacles to Forgiveness

SIX
Miracles of Forgiveness

SEVEN
Stepping Stones to Forgiveness

Y ou are holding a book that will change your life. Youve heard about such books, Im sure. Perhaps youve even read one before. Theyre rare, its true. In fact, given the number of books in print, theyre very rare. But every so often one will present itself to you. I mean that literally. I mean, it will literally present itself to you.

Maybe it will be given to you as a gift. Or perhaps youll hear about it from a friend. You might find it on someones coffee table. Or it will be the only title that really catches your eye as you browse the bookstore.

Only you know how the book thats in your hands right now came to you, but I can tell you this: It did not come to you by accident. You are not reading it by chance. God brought this book to you. I am convinced of that. God does these things all the time. Its one of the ways God communicates with you when Hes got something She wants you to hear or when you call out to the universe for an answer, for some insight, for some help with something thats troubling you.

I dont know if theres anything troubling you right now, or if youve been wishing for a little insight, or if its just one of those times when God feels it would be good for you to hear something, but I do know that your having this book in your hands right now is perfect.

Youll see this, too, when you finish reading it. Youll know exactly why you picked it up.

Now let me tell you a little about the man who wrote this book. Hes one of the most extraordinary men I have ever met. Hes a man who carries peace and love and joy in his heart in such abundance that it spills over onto his face. You can see it in his eyes. You can feel it in his smile. And when he shakes your hand or gives you a big hughe gives a lot of big hugsyou can feel that peace and joy and love going right through you.

Thats the kind of man were talking about. I know Jerry personally, and Ive had those experiences. Im telling you about him now because I think its important for you to know something about the person who has placed this information before you. I want you to know that it comes from a highly credible source.

Not that Jerry Jampolsky needs an introduction or, certainly, any validation from me. His work over the years in creating the Center for Attitudinal Healing in the San Francisco Bay area and in fostering the establishment of over a hundred similar centers dotting the globe has won him the grateful admiration of people the world over. And his extraordinary book Love Is Letting Go of Fear stands today as one of the most significant texts on applied spirituality of the past half century. What I want you to know is not who Jerry is but rather that he is who you would think he is from reading his previous writings and observing his lifeworkin other words, he is a man who walks his talk.

Why do I consider it important for you to know that? Not because I think Jerry needs or wants the praise. Far from it. Rather, its important for you to know what this man is like because his life lived is evidence that what he teaches works.

Thats a tribute, because Jerry has had a lot of stuff to overcome in his life. You dont have to be told all about that here. Its enough to say that his life has not been what you would call tidy. Yet for over twenty years Jerry has been ministering to the world and inspiring millions.

What caused this change in him? The same thing that will cause a change in youthe subject of this book: forgiveness.

Now lets get something clear about Jerry Jampolsky. Hes not perfect. No one who knows him would tell you that. What they would tell you is that he is perfectly clear that hes not perfect, that no one isand that this is his great healing insight. He understands that we are all human, that we all make mistakes, that we all can be hurtful or selfish, unkind or thoughtless. He knows what its like to wrestle with ego, to battle with fear, and to struggle with love. He knows the deep inner disappointment of wanting to be big, and still acting small; of wanting to be gentle, and still acting harshly; of wanting to be wise, and still acting foolish.

Hes had plenty of moments when hes been less than his grandest self. His special grace is that he would be the first person to tell you that. His special gift is that hed be the first person to let you be less than perfect tooand get away with it.

You see, Jerry Jampolsky has come to understand some things about forgiveness. Hes learned to forgive himself for all the times in his life when hes shown up as less than Who He Really Is, and hes learned to forgive others when theyve done the same. Where this has brought Jerry is to a place of deep inner peace. It has given him a capacity to deal with those whom others would call difficult people with uncommon patience and unmatched equanimity. It has caused him to seek to practice unconditional love. It has allowed him to heal himself and others.