Melissa Trevathan - Growing Up Without Getting Lost

Melissa and Sissy wisely and gently uncover some of the
most complicated years of our growing up. With unmatched
counseling experience, vulnerable story-telling and Biblical
foundation, this book shines a much needed light on the
intricacies of what it means to be a teenage girl today. While
perusing its pages I couldnt stop thinking - If only I had a book
like this during my teenage years! I would have devoured it.
Kelly Minter, Speaker, Author, Worship Leader

I have my role models. They are truth-sharers and
truth-seekers. Sissy and Melissa have not only offered
me a revelational understanding of myself, but have
taught and challenged me to grow further in the ways
I was specifically designed to.
Katie, age 17

Melissa and Sissy have helped me so much. I wish I had
them on speed dial!
Molly, age 17

INVERT YOUTH SPECIALTIES

GROWING UP Without Getting Lost: Discovering Your Identity in Christ
Copyright 2008 by Melissa Trevathan and Sissy Goff

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of Zondervan.

ePub Edition June 2009 ISBN: 0-310-86238-8

Youth Specialties products, 300 S. Pierce St., El Cajon, CA 92020 are published by Zondervan, 5300 Patterson Ave. SE, Grand Rapids, MI 49530.

ISBN 978-0-310-27917-4

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible,Todays New International Version. TNIV. Copyright 2001, 2005 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Web site addresses listed in this book were current at the time of publication. Please contact Youth Specialties via email (YS@YouthSpecialties.com) to report URLs that are no longer operational and replacement URLs if available.

Cover design by SharpSeven Design

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This book is dedicated to the Daystar summer interns
who have taught us so much during our writing years:
Celia, Briana, Lauren, Betsie, Clare, Jessica, Kathleen, Erin,
Caitlin, Chelsea, Aubrey, and Martha. You have been a constant
source of laughter, hope, encouragement and inspiration to us.
Satan cant live in our thankful hearts.

_________________________

Anne Lamott says that her best prayers are Help me, help me,
help me and Thank you, thank you, thank you. We have prayed
both of them often in the writing of these two books. And we have
spoken them (probably not often enough) to a group of people who
have helpedlighten our loads during our chaotic counseling/book
writing/summer camp directing kind of schedule. From a publishing
standpoint, we are grateful for the wisdom of Sandy VanderZicht,
Bob Hudson, Londa Alderink, Karen Campbell, Michael Ranville,
Kristie Fry, Jay Howver, Roni Meek, and Carla Barnhill. From a
dont-know-how-we-would-do-life-without-them standpoint, we
are grateful for the long-suffering of our families and friends.
And, of course, our dogs, Noel and Molasses.

Dear Fellow Travelers,

Life is strange and abstract. Life as a girl is perhaps even more strange and abstract. We are messy and determined, lovely and lonely, needy and stressed out.

The first time I met Sissy and Melissa I realized that my strange life as a girl meant something. It meant I was wired and designed to long for relationship and purpose. It also meant that, because life does not always provide perfect relationship or patent purpose, I was, as the old hymn goes, prone to wander.

I have known these two women for six years now, and their encouragement and advice have changed my life. They have a rare combination of wisdom and humor, depth and simplicity, sincerity and straightforwardness. I am proud to call them my mentors, my role models, and my dearest friendsand I am proud to share them with you.

May we take the time to listen!

Chelsea, 19

Table of Contents

Chapter 4: The Its All About Me Years (11 to 14):
The Low Points

Chapter 5: The Its All About Me Years (11 to 14):
The High Points

Chapter 6: The Are We There Yet? Years (15 and 16):
The Low Points

Chapter 7: The Are We There Yet? Years (15 and 16):
The High Points

Chapter 8: The IndependentMore or LessYears (17 to 19):
The Low Points

Chapter 9: The Independent More or LessYears (17 to 19):
The High Points

An
Introduction

I (Sissy) am terrified of ventriloquist dummies. Im pretty sure it has something to do with the first time I got really lost.

When I was eight, my mom took my cousin Blair and me to see a double feature at the drive-in theater. After sitting in the car for several hours, Blair and I started to feel a little cramped. We decided to stretch our legs by heading over to the concession stand for drinks and popcorn.

We climbed out of my moms car and started wandering through the maze of vehicles. We walked for what seemed like a long time before we finally saw the concessions stand. Blair and I loaded up on all of the drinks, popcorn, and candy we could carry. We turned around to head back to the car, and had no idea where to find my mom.

Even though we had walked for a long time to get to the concession stand, I expected to see my moms blue Volvo in the first row. Instead there was a sea of cars, all of them looking blue in the darkness. Nervously, Blair and I started walking in what we hoped was the right direction, peering through car windows and calling Mom every few steps.

It felt like the night was getting darker and darker, as we walked. We couldnt find my mom anywhere. I was beyond worriedI was panicked. And then I heard it. A hideous, monstrous laugh poured out of the speakers sitting in the windows of the cars around us (back in the good old days of drive-ins, we had to hang a speaker in the car window in order to hear the movie). I looked up at the screen and saw the huge, crazy, scary face of a ventriloquist dummy. In the plot of the movie this dummy had come to life and was taking over the mind of his ventriloquist. His maniacal cackle nearly scared me to death.

I have never forgotten how it felt to be lost that night. I have never forgotten that sense of terror that cut through me when I heard that laughter. And I have never forgotten how certain I was that I would never find my way back to safety.

Nearly everyone we know has a story about being lost. You probably have one, too. Maybe you were in a crowd and reached for your sisters hand, only to find you were holding on to someone you didnt know. Maybe you absentmindedly got into a car after practice one afternoon and turned to see someone elses dad in the drivers seat. Maybe you got separated from your mom in the grocery store. Or maybe you got lost and ended up in a strange neighborhood the first time you drove home by yourself.