Clayton King - 40 Days of Purity for Guys

Copyright 2014 by LifeWay Christian Resources

All right reserved.

Printed in the United States of America

978-1-4336-8435-7

Published by B&H Publishing Group

Nashville, Tennessee

Dewey Decimal Classification: 306.73

Subject Heading: BOYS \ SEXUAL ABSTINENCE \ CHRISTIAN LIFE

All Scripture quotations are taken from the Holman Christian Standard Bible,
Copyright 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003, 2009
by Holman Bible Publishers.

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This book is dedicated to Joe and Jane King, my parents who adopted me when I was just a few weeks old. They didnt have a perfect marriage, but they stayed faithful to Christ and to each other all the way until death. They taught me more about love through their example than I could learn from a thousand books.

T he task of living your life for the glory of God is a tremendous challenge for any Christian. Its even more difficult in a culture that shoves sex, porn, and lust in your face incessantly. Add to that the daily, even hourly struggle of trying to avoid sexual temptation, and it can at times seem nearly impossible.

The truth is, it is impossible... if you try to do it on your own.

It is impossible... if you dont understand why you should live according to Gods plan.

It is impossible... if you dont know how to stand against the tide.

It is impossible... if you dont understand what you should do in your fight for holiness and godliness.

It is impossible... if you dont know who you are and whom you belong to.

So were going to learn how to do this together, day-by-day. Were going to see what God says in regards to giving your entire life, not just your relationships, to Him. We will figure out how to live your life on purpose based on who you are and who God is making you to be. You will see that its not too hard. Its not too complicated. Its not impossible.

If you belong to Jesus Christ, His Spirit is in you, He is with you, and He is for you. And He has a greater purpose for your life than you could ever imagine.

M y life seemed fairly simple as a kid. Then I started middle school.

Everything changed: my body, my desires, my thoughts, and my attention. I had always thought girls were gross. Then all of a sudden, they were all I could think about. And I wasnt alone. My guy friends were going through a similar metamorphosis; so were all the girls we secretly dreamed about. This led to a new form of entertainment: relationships .

Guys started flirting with girls, and girls started whispering about guys. What I once found disgusting suddenly became an obsession. All I wanted was a girlfriend! A girl would make me confident, secure, and cool. I would become one of the guys and be accepted by them if I could just get a girl to like me. I desperately hoped I would be chosen by a cute girl because that would validate me as a guy.

But as the days became weeks and the weeks became months, not a single girl chose to like me. I became more self-conscious and more insecure. I wondered how I was going to convince a girl to like me when I wasnt even sure if I liked myself. I was trying to fill the natural human desire to be noticed, to find affection and love through a relationship, but I kept coming up empty. I was emotionally vulnerable and spiritually insecure.

Middle school turned into high school, and I grew a foot and lost forty pounds and became a football player. Girls began to notice me, and a few of them even chose to like me. It made me feel awesome for a little while, but I felt a deeper longing inside my heart. The security I hoped a girlfriend would bring me never came. I realized that only Jesus could fulfill my longing to matter, to belong, and to be chosen by someone.

If you know that the God of the universe chose you to be His child, why would you ever let another person define who you are or who you will become?

When youre tempted to base your identity on a relationship, remember that Jesus gave up His life to give yours value. If a girl likes you one day only to reject you the next, remember Jesus love doesnt flip-flop. He is consistent. He is faithful, and His love is eternal.

Girls, dating, drama, and relationships are here today and gone tomorrow, but Jesus is the one consistent love you can always count on, no matter what. Youve been chosen by God. Will you choose to make your relationship with Jesus the most important one in your life? You have a choice. Make the right one.

M ost of us have been told that Jesus love is unconditional and permanent. But the test of whether we really believe it comes in those moments when we feel like weve failed Jesus. All of a sudden the door of doubt opens in our hearts, and uneasy thoughts creep in. We doubt His love when we break His laws .

The more we doubt, the farther we run from the truth thats promised to us in Scripture: He loves us faithfully even when we are not faithful. The challenge is to believe this is true, even when all our feelings and emotions cause us to question it.

We tend to adopt a subtle attitude. We assume God would be impressed with us if we could do more good deeds, if we could keep more of His commandments, or if we could stop sinning completely. But we all know this is impossible.

In the book of Matthew, Jesus talks to a group of religious leaders. These guys thought keeping the law earned them brownie points with God. Jesus said to them, Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which appear beautiful on the outside, but inside are full of dead mens bones and every impurity (Matthew 23:27). The Pharisees knew that Gods law required perfect obedience so they created rules and laws that made them feel they were keeping the law perfectly. Just like us, they were trying to live up to an impossible standard. Its as if Jesus were saying to them, Hey guys, you may think all these good things you are doing are throwing Me off, but nothing is invisible to Me. I wish youd stop trying to impress Me and start trusting Me.

If youre trying to perfect yourself, youre taking on a job only Jesus can accomplish. Your perfection is a by-product of your salvation. Hes already made you perfect even though you may not feel like it today.

When my first girlfriend broke up with me, I thought my life was over. I questioned what I could have done differently. I wondered what was wrong with me and if another girl would ever like me. But my dad spoke wisdom to me when he said, Son, youre not perfect, and a good girl will love you for who you really are. She wont expect you to be perfect. And neither does God.

When I fail and Im frustrated, I thank Jesus that one day He will remove all shame, and Hell welcome me into His kingdom, not based on my performance but on His perfection. The challenge is to believe God still loves and cherishes you when your performance is less than perfect. And since it is always less than perfect, this will be a challenge you will face for the rest of your life.

Accept the challenge. Remember that God doesnt love you because you are perfect. He loves you perfectly because He is perfect.

T he most important choice youll ever make when it comes to sexual purity is not whom you will date or how far you will go physically. All of those choices are important, but they are not ultimate.