Elizabeth Crist - Get Real ... About Relationships. A 40-day Journey for Teens

[ GET REAL ... ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS ]

a 30-day journey

by Elizabeth Crist

ampelon PUBLISHING

Boise, ID

Get Real ... about Relationships

Copyright 2005 by Elizabeth Crist

The stories in this book are real, but the names have been changed to protect their identities.

Unless otherwise indicated, Bible quotations are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.

Paperback ISBN: 978-0-9748825-5-0

eBook ISBN: 978-0-9823286-3-7

Requests for information should be addressed to:

Ampelon Publishing, PO Box 140675, Boise, ID 83714

To order other Ampelon Publishing products, visit us on the web at: www.ampelonpublishing.com

Cover & inside design: Alicia Pritt theoryonedesign.com

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I am deeply indebted to the following people ...

First and foremost, to my Heavenly Father for every conscious thought about relationships you narrated through me into this book. For teaching me to be real with people, and helping me to understand life. I love you.

To my parents, for putting up with late night hours spent on the family computer, and for all the relationship advice. To Ben, for sharing with me the griefs of being the oldest child and having to go through the oddest rules and stages of parenting. To Bart, for counseling and helping me get through stuff, being the dependable brother and so generous. To John, for being exciting and inspiring by your stories and wild experiences. To Joe, thanks for being here, taking me places and letting me tag along, and for making my childhood the best one ever! To Lit, the best little brother a sister could have! I love everythig about you and the way you have so many talents. To Emma and Vani, you girls are amazing. I never know how to act around you guys, but thanks for letting me experiment with how to be an older sister.

To Jason Chatraw, my dedicated editor and the idea behind the book. Many thanks to the brains of the operation. To Ampelon Publishing, for taking a crazy revelation and taking a chance on me. Alicia, thanks for all you've done; the designs are amazing. Thanks for taking the time to listen and understand me.

To Todd & Anita, for the many talks, encouraging words, prayer, and support you gave me. Mchughs, thanks for the interest, the persistence, the talks in the office, and the prayers. Jeanine, for showing us all how the heart of Jesus looks.

Now for the shout outs ... To Chewning, taking no-named artists and making them popular, for your generosity, the relationship advice, the entertainment guidance, and for being the comic relief in my life! To Hartley's Handis thinker-uppers, so inspiring, friendly competitions, movie nights, frappies, and peppermint floats -- it all strangely helped me learn about relationships. To "The Girls," Amy, Casey, Callie, Hannah, Ansley, Asheton, Jen, and Kara. You kept me in line, took me on adventures, and shared happy and sad moments with me, and most importantly, we've grown together. Thanks for everything, you guys. I love you. The '05 seniors, you make me jealous. Thanks for letting me tag alongside of you. You guys inspired me in more ways than one. Last, but not least, to my class of 2007. You guys will never know the impact you've had on my life. It certainly has been a blessing to be a part of your lives and grow with you. The book was sorely written off a lot of your relationships, so thanks for the memories, good and bad, that may be forever remembered because of it.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Relationshipswe all have them. We have them with people our age, older people, younger people, boyfriends, girlfriends, brothers, sisters, parents, grandparents, teachers, coaches, and mentors. But who can understand them? They bring us great joy on some days and great sadness on others. Yet we all want to see our relationships work.

OVER 70% OF TEENS SAY relationships are based on communication. But what else makes up a relationship? Better yet, what makes a good relationship? What kinds of relationships are there? Why do we need them? Over the next eight weeks, we will be taking an in-depth look at relationships.

A relationship is defined as a bond between two or more people. Damon from Georgia says, There are two kinds of relationships: intimate and non-intimate. However, Tyler says, The two kinds of relationships are spiritual and physical.

So, who decides what it is? In this case, both Damon and Tyler are right. There are intimate and non-intimate relationships, and there are spiritual relationships as well as physical relationships. During the course of these next few weeks, I hope you come to your own realization of just what a relationship might be.

Ruth is married to this guy who lives with his mother and father along with his brother and his wife. One day a terrible storm comes and all three men die, leaving the women widows with no heir and no one to take care of them. And thats where the story begins. Within relationships, we will focus on five different areas: communication, commitment, trust, growth, and appreciation. We will examine each one this week and then look at each of those areas within the different relationships that we have. Lets get started with Ruth.

............................

LearningtoCommunicate

Read: Ruth 1:822

Spy shows have always intrigued me. If ever there is a show on television about spies, you'll find me on the couch in front of the TV watching it.

And sure enough, I began to think I wanted to be a spy. I had all the moves. I could fight, definitely dress up, and change aliases as many times as she did. Suddenly, this became one of my great desires. I would go on the roof at night and watch and listen to see if I could detect any movements or bad guys running around. (Living right next door to a police station makes it hard to find action though.) As the longing to be a spy burned within me, more and more I wanted to fight crime and bring people to justice.

Then one day when I told this guy Steve of my desire to be a spy, he looked at me and bluntly replied, Oh, you could never be a spy. And that was it. I came back to reality. When I think about it, being a spy seems cool but probably isnt all it appears to be. Communication is essential to every healthy relationship. Communication is an easy thing to do in our world; we have cell phones, home phones, e-mail, instant messages, snail mail, interpersonal mail, text messaging, websites, blogging and online journals to name a few. In the end, we communicate because people cant read minds. There is no way of knowing the things you like to do, what your thoughts and dreams are, or even your personality unless you tell other people what it is. Steve would have never had any idea I had thought about being a spy unless I told him.

It is very clear throughout the Bible that fellowship among friends, believers, and churches is absolutely necessary to functionand the element of communication is important in these relationships. This is not only so people can know what's going on, but so they can encourage one another, lifting them up and uniting one another in love.

In the story of Ruth, Naomi communicated her strong desire for Ruth and Orpah, Ruths sister-in-law, to leave her alone. Naomis husband and two sons just died, and she was probably bitter and hurt. But Ruth sincerely wanted to stay with Naomi. When Naomi saw that Ruth was going nowhere, she finally agreed.