Tasha K Douglas - My Beautiful Daughter. What It Means to Be Loved by God

I got it! Briana Robinson leaped from her bed and sprinted to the telephone. Not much longer and shed have her own cell phone. It was the call shed anticipated all morning long. In sixteen more hours, she would begin her first day as a seventh-grader at Live Oak Junior High School. It was the biggest day of her life so far. After years of watching her older sister, Ashley, do cool stuff like hosting sleepovers, Briana figured the time had finally come for her to have some fun too.

The consummate fashionista, Brianas idea of fun meant facing lifes monumental moments in style. She considered the matter of what to wear on the first day of school a major decision. The incoming call from her best friend, Jessica Moore, would help her make a good one. Briana grabbed the telephone, catching her breath before speaking.

Hey Jess! What are you wearing tomorrow?

I dont know yet. How bout you?

Im not sure either.

Nothing we cant solve with a trip to the mall, right? Do you think your mom would take us?

Maybe. She doesnt get home til four thirty, though.

Call her and ask her.

No, Im only supposed to call for something serious. Shell call to check on me. Then Ill ask.

Cool. What are you gonna get?

Ashley has a cute pair of jeans that I like. And I know the perfect hoodie to go with em.

Why dont you just borrow Ashleys jeans then?

Please. They are so big on me I cant even walk. Id rather have some skinny jeans anyway. Besides, Mom doesnt let us share clothes.

Briana and Jessica desired to look good. They were glad their school permitted them to wear their own clothing instead of uniforms. In the sixth grade, Briana earned the best-dressed award and her picture in the yearbook. She was determined to keep that status in junior high too. The telephone beeping with another call interrupted her goal-setting daydream.

Jess, let me get that. Its probably my mom.

Okay. Call me back when you get done.

I will. Briana switched calls. Hey, Mom.

Hello, Bree. Is that the proper way to answer the telephone?

No. But I knew it was you. We do have caller ID, remember?

Dont get sassy, Briana Robinson. You still need to answer the phone correctly. You doin alright?

Kinda. Well actually, no. Not really Mom?

Mmm hmm.

Briana zipped her question out as fast as she could. Do you think you can take me and Jess to the mall when you get home? I really want to get a hoodie like Ashleys to wear to school tomorrow please. She grimaced as she waited for her mothers response.

Oh, sweetheart, Im sorry. I have to work late. Thats what I was calling to tell you. Im really sorry, Briana. I promise Ill make it up to you. Anyway, what about all the stuff your grandmother sent you?

Its nice. But I want to wear something slammin on the first day.

Slamming?

You know what I mean, Mom. Something cool. All that stuff Granny got is too babyish.

I understand. Well, try to find something in your closet just for tomorrow. Were not going to the mall tonight. I wont make it home until six thirty.

With that, Brianas hope of becoming the most popular girl in school began evaporating. Her mother seemed not to care. Wheres Ashley? she asked.

Shes in her room.

Let me talk to her please.

Ill get her.

Briana pushed the hold button and then placed the telephone back on the cradle. She also hung her head, disappointed that her pursuit of popularity was now on hold, and Mom wouldnt take her to the mall. She considered begging, but it was useless. Briana envisioned her mom planting her hands on her hips, with that look on her face. You know the one. It means, I said no. Now no more whining, and do not ask me again.

In moments like that, Briana thought about her father.

She gently tapped on Ashleys closed bedroom door. Moms on the phone.

Ashley opened the door, noticing the tears slowly filling Brianas brown eyes. Whats wrong?

Briana shrugged. Nothin, Im fine. She turned from her sister, hurrying off to her own bedroom. Closing the bedroom door behind her, she sighed and plopped down at her desk. The huge calendar on top almost completely covered it. It was easy for her to notice the dreaded Saturday date. She had circled it at least a hundred times with a hot pink heart.

Briana had her dress. She had her shoes. And of course, she had her jewelry. There was only one thing she was missing for the Father-Daughter Sweetheart Dance: her father. Even though her uncle William would take her as he did every year, the fact that he was not her actual father only made her even sadder.

She understood the importance of being grateful for Uncle Williams love and kindness, and she was. Still, knowing all the other girls would be at the dance with their fathers, and that she would not, left Briana feeling empty.

Drumming her fingers on the desk, Briana resolved to make the best of her situation. She thought, oh well, hes not going to magically appear cause Im sitting here tapping this desk. She got up and slowly opened the closet door, as if she were afraid of the clothes inside.

The door creaked, reminding her that everything in her closet was old, and nowhere near good enough to wear on the first day of junior high. She stood there, arms crossed in disappointment, deciding what outfit would have to make do for her debut. Ugh! she yelled, slamming the closet door. The wall shelf holding her cheerleading trophies shook. All her awards tumbled to the floor.

The crash alarmed Ashley. She dashed through the door to Brianas room. What happened?

I just closed my closet door too hard. Geez, dont you knock? Calm down.

If theres something bothering you Briana, you should just say so. Whats up?

Ashley could be a cool big sister at times. When Briana felt like her mother didnt understand, Ashley was willing to listen. Whats up with that, Briana said, is Im tired of not having Dad around! Dont you ever wonder why our dad left us and Mom?

Ashley sat down on Brianas bed and patted the vacant spot beside her with her hand. Briana complied with the request and sat down. You know, Bree, I used to wonder but not so much anymore. There are times when I miss Dad too. But, Im learning that adults have a lot of responsibilities. They have to make choices that we dont even think about yet. Sometimes they make good ones, sometimes they dont. But it doesnt mean they dont love us.

Yeah. But shouldnt you be with someone if you love them so much?

Ashley held up her pointer finger, got up from the bed, and walked out of the room. When she came back in, she carried a mustard yellow colored photo album. Sitting down on the bed with Briana, Ashley opened the old album and took out a picture. She showed it to Briana. Does this look like someone who doesnt love you?

Is that baby me?

Yes. And thats Dad holding you. Mom told me he had just finished giving you a bath. It was his nightly routine. You would scream when he took off your clothes to get you all cleaned up. But after that, you loved it! He would bathe you, dress you in that goofy looking outfit, and then read you a story before you went to sleep. Every single night.