Compilation - Serving with Strength Throughout the World. Favorite Talks from Especially for Youth

T he temple was crowded with Saints who were anxiously performing their ancestral duties. My dad was trying to instill confidence in me by assuring me that everything would be okay. I kept wondering if I had made the right choice. Just think, within minutes, I will be sealed for time and all eternity. Will she always love me? Am I really ready to be married? Ive always thought about this day. I THINK I am positive I have made the right decision, but how can I really be sure?

I could feel my heart beating in my chest, and then she walked in. Now my heart was pounding even harder. Im sure everyone could hear, but I didnt care. For some reason, now all I cared about was her.

The temple sealing room was not elaborately decorated. But it was beautiful with its lights, mirrors, and chandelier all reflecting a soft white light. As we knelt across the altar, I gazed into her beautiful eyes. In fact, her eyes were far more beautiful than any of the man-made accessories decorating the holy temple. I finally knew I was in love (Mike!!), and that this love would never end (Mike!!). We were destined to be the happiest couple of (Mike, hellooh, would you please stop daydreaming and answer the question!!).

Many of us dream about that awesome day we hope will one day come. You know, the day when you will be sealed for eternity. I would like to share some ideas that might be helpful as you prepare for your wedding day. But before we can get to the wedding day, there has to be some serious dating. And, for many of you, before the dating can begin, there has to be some serious waiting. To help make the waiting easier and the dating more beneficial and satisfying, this chapter will focus on four major concepts:

1. Understanding the big picture.

2. Developing desirable qualities.

3. Commitment to standards.

4. Dating with purpose.

To make these concepts easier to remember, I will title them: On your mark, get ready, get set, date.

After returning from my mission, I began looking up old friends that I had not seen for two years. I went to the house of a friend who was already married and met his wife. I also learned that his wifes younger sister was staying with them. She was just my age and was gorgeous. I remember thinking that she might be the one. In fact, I went home that night and actually prayed: Please, Heavenly Father, bless her to be the one. But even as I was saying the prayer, I felt uncomfortable. Something was not right.

Perhaps you believe, as I used to, that there is one person out there that we are meant to be with. But President Spencer W. Kimball said the notion of soul mates is an illusion. He taught that while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price (Oneness in Marriage, Ensign, Mar. 1977, p. 4). Elder Boyd K. Packer made a similar statement when he said, You must do the choosing, rather than to seek for some one-and-only so-called soul mate, chosen for you by someone else and waiting for you. You are to do the choosing. You must be wise beyond your years and humbly prayerful unless you choose amiss (Eternal Love [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1973], p. 11).

That means that within the next ten years, most of you teenaged readers will be making one of the biggest decisions of not only your mortal life, but of eternity. The decision has not already been made. We are not in a giant game of hide-and-go-seek, trying to locate the soul that we made promises to in our premortal life. Instead, we are to prepare ourselves to be compatible with the one we will choose in this life, one we will agree to share eternity with. In the scriptures the Lord teaches us how to make good choices (see Moroni 7:10-17). He has given us the ability to choose good from evil. Because we each are free to choose, we need to decide very clearly what we are looking for.

This being the case, is there life before age sixteen? You bet there is! Now that we understand that we are in the process of making the choice, we need to begin preparing to be wise beyond our years.

Some young people wonder why we develop the desire to date before we are old enough to date. Maybe an example from sports will help. Many coaches feel the purpose of practice is to drill so much that in a game a player will not have to decide what to do. He or she will have been conditioned to simply react, instinctively, to any situation. The time for preparation is over when the game begins. By requiring us to wait until we are sixteen to date, maybe the Lord has blessed us with a great opportunity to think through our dating experience before we are actually in the situations. David O. McKay said: The seeds of a happy married life are sown in youth. Happiness does not begin at the altar; it begins during the period of youth (True to the Faith, comp. Llewelyn R. McKay [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1966], pp. 317-18). Happiness in marriage begins when we start to develop Christlike qualities (see Alma 37:35-37).

Take out a sheet of paper and write down the top five qualities that you would like in a future mate. If you cant think of any, here are a few that Ive heard frequently: Good looking, smart, spiritual, genuine, and rich. After you have made your list, then prioritize the qualities from most important to least important. You may even evaluate your list and decide that some of the attributes you originally thought were important, are not. For instance, good looking may not be as important as some other character trait. To ensure you will be worthy of someone like that, begin today to develop those same qualities. In other words, become the type of person you want to marry (see D&C 88:40). Success in marriage depends not so much on