Battenhausen - Defeating Depression : the Calm And Sense Way To Find Happiness And Satisfaction

Defeating Depression

The Calm and Sense Way
to Find Happiness and Satisfaction

Leo J. Battenhausen, MA, MSW, LCSW, LCADC

New Horizon Press

Far Hills, NJ

Copyright 2011 by Leo J. Battenhausen, MA, MSW, LCSW, LCADC

This book is not associated or affiliated with Calm and Sense, LLC of Scotch Plains, New Jersey. The phrase Calm and Sense is used here by agreement between the author and Calm and Sense, LLC.

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form whatsoever, including electronic, mechanical or any information storage or retrieval system, except as may be expressly permitted in the 1976 Copyright Act or in writing from the publisher. Requests for permission should be addressed to:

New Horizon Press

P.O. Box 669

Far Hills, NJ 07931

Battenhausen, Leo J.

Defeating Depression: The Calm and Sense Way to Find Happiness

and Satisfaction

Cover design: Robert Aulicino

Interior design: Susan M. Sanderson

Library of Congress Control Number: 2010906907

ISBN 13: 978-0-88282-398-0

New Horizon Press

Manufactured in the U.S.A.

20152014201320122011/12345

This book is graciously and genuinely dedicated to that most
wonderful, magical, special, outstanding, surprising, amazing,
unique, incredible and totally awesome YOU!

In the following pages I offer nothing more than simple facts, plain arguments, and common sense; and have no other Preliminaries to settle with the reader, than that he will divest himself of prejudice and prepossession, and suffer his reason and his feelings to determine for themselves; that he will put ON, or rather that he will not put OFF the true character of a man, and generously enlarge his views beyond the present day.

Thomas Paine, Common Sense

This book is based on the authors research, personal experiences and clients real life experiences. In order to protect privacy, the names and some of the circumstances of the clients (and their families) who graciously allowed me to share their stories have been changed. I thank them for their generosity and their courage. The symptoms and therapeutic approaches remain as they occurred.

For purposes of simplifying usage, the pronouns his/her and she are sometimes used interchangeably.

The information contained herein is not meant to be a substitute for professional evaluation and therapy with mental health professionals.

I magine a life free from unpleasant and disturbing feelings of sadness, loneliness, despair, worry, anger, blame, resentment, jealousy and fear. Imagine having unlimited confidence and the ability and power to feel good about your life regardless of the circumstances you face. What if I told you that there is such a way of living and that you already have the ability to make it happen? Its true! And you have the keys to that success in your hands right now.

You have picked up this book either because your life is not as Calm as you would like it to be or because something in your life is not making Sense to you. You are looking for both Calm and Sense in your life and you deserve it. We all do!

Regardless of age, gender, stage of life, economic status, race, religion, daily circumstances, profession, family composition, etc., there are many things in life today that can cause feelings of unrest, anxiety, insecurity, frustration, sadness, fear, immobility, lack of confidence, stress, not fitting inThe list goes on and on.

Imagine what your life would be like if you could remain Calm and make Sense of all the adverse and unpleasant situations and people you encounter. Can you picture it?

I have worked with countless individuals from all walks of life who have come into my office seeking help with these or other issues in their lives that are interfering with their ability to enjoy life. They believe that they cannot overcome their issues on their own.

It is my belief that everyone who comes into therapy is stuck somewhere on the journey that is his or her life. They have tried several things to get unstuck, but it didnt work. Now they seek help. Did you know that seeking help is a sign of strength, not of weakness?

Very early in my career, I often struggled with how I could be most helpful in my role as therapist in peoples lives. After all, what greater responsibility is there than to be relied on to truly help othersespecially in a time of crisisand what greater honor is there than to be trusted by a stranger to do so? I spent hours thinking about all Id been taught and all Id read throughout my undergraduate, graduate and ongoing studies, trying to put it all together in concise and practical answers to the questions What am I going to do to help people get past their pain and feel better? and How will I help them get unstuck?

The solution was simple. Instead of relying solely on the book smarts and theories I had learned in college and graduate school to lead my working style and to help guide my clients, I started using more and more Calm and Sense in my approach andmore importantlyI started teaching this approach to my clients. The results were amazing! Of course, Freud, Jung, Rogers, Ellis, Glassner and all the greats of psychology are certainly important to learn and understand, but the true how to when it comes to helping others comes only from genuine care for others and the use of Calm and Sense. Truthfully, the best teachers I have ever had and continue to have are my clients. They never cease to surprise, amaze and educate me.

One of the things I have learned from my clients, regardless of what specific issue they present to me in their first sessions, is that they are all struggling with some aspect of their lives that is somehow, some way, causing them to experience some degree of depression.

Nobody wants to be depressed. Granted, sometimes feeling a little depressedto the point where we just cant get that looming task done (whatever it may be, from vacuuming the house to cooking a meal to just plain getting up and facing the day)is a gift in disguise. Why? It signals us that we need to take some time off; that we need to put aside whats weighing heavily on our minds and recharge ourselves. Sometimes, indulging that feeling for a short time (a few hours, maybe a day) and giving ourselves permission to just be for a bit so that we can rest and refocus is a good thing. But only if we get back up and start moving forward again.

On the other end of the spectrum, feeling depressed all the time is a signal that we need to seek professional advice.

Oftentimes, we find ourselves somewhere in the middle, feeling stuck and wanting relief but not really knowing how to get it.

There are so many thingssome unavoidable, some preventablethat can cause us to feel depressed. No matter what the circumstances or causes are, feelings of depression are common, unpleasant (to say the least) and disrupting. Feeling depressed gets in the way of accomplishing what we want and need to do. It impedes our ability to feel healthy, both physically and emotionally. It makes the people around us uncomfortable in a variety of ways. No one wants to feel this way. Calm and Sense tells us that it is all manageable; life can be brighter, happier and more wonderful if we learn to use Calm and Sense in all we think and do.

Sometimes all it takes to escape a feeling of depression is to turn off the news instead of continuing to be bombarded with information about the frightening state of the economy, the wildlife being destroyed by the tremendous oil eruption in the ocean, the child who was abducted on his way to school, the woman and her coworkers who were murdered by the womans estranged husband (who had a restraining order against him) and all of the other unhappy news that seems to be on television, on radio or in the newspapers. Sometimes all it takes is finding something to laugh about. Sometimes it takes a good nights sleep or a healthy meal. Other times it requires reexamining (with a physician or pharmacist) the medications we are taking to see if they may be causing us to feel depressed. Sometimes it takes comforting words from a close friend, clergyperson or family member. And sometimes it takes a lot more than any of these things.