Hamid - ABetterLife

A BETTER LIFE

By Nilima Hamid

chipmunkapublishing

the mental health publisher

All rights reserved, no part of this publication may be reproduced by any means, electronic, mechanical photocopying, documentary, film or in any other format without prior written permission of the publisher.

Published by

Chipmunkapublishing

http://www.chipmunkapublishing.com

Copyright Nilima Hamid 2013

ISBN 978-1-84991-905-0

Chipmunkapublishing gratefully acknowledge the support of Arts Council England.

Biography of Nilima Hamid

Nilima Hamid, a British Muslim, was born in 1975 and is originally from Bangladesh. She was a very disturbed child. Life had its ups and downs but got progressively worse until she had a nervous breakdown in 1993. That was when she realized just how confused and neglected she was, and started to sort out her life.

She was an Oxbridge candidate for Medicine but her studies suffered as she focused on getting a grip on reality after being diagnosed with schizophrenia. When ill she had no bonds and was totally isolated in a fantasy world. Despite this, Nilima studied for a Masters in Chemistry and Biochemistry at Imperial College University of London.

In her battle with schizophrenia, she deteriorated to suicidal then thankfully emerged on the other side; a mental health survivor.

After overcoming her dysfunctional anger, she began to reach out to her family and friends. Her struggle to find work ended in defeat and she started to build a better life.

Nilima is now a registered counsellor and runs Forward Counselling Advice Service. She is a highly experienced and reputable healthcare professional, an expert in the field of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) and devoted to helping people improve the quality of their lives.

Contents

Program 1 Coping Strategies Counselling Advic e Page 6

Program 2 Life Coaching Page 211

Program 3 Overcoming A Smoking Habit Page 233

Program 4 Overcoming Addiction Page 248

Program 5 Overcoming Alcohol Abuse Page 266

Program 6 Overcoming Anger Page 280

Program 7 Overcoming Anorexia Nervosa Page 309

Program 8 Overcoming Anxiety Page 330

Program 9 Overcoming Bulimia Nervosa Page

Program 10 Overcoming Childhood Abuse Page 365

Program 11 Overcoming Chronic Fatigu e Syndrome Page 383

Program 12 Overcoming Depression Page 393

Program 13 Overcoming Destructive Relationships Page 406

Program 14 Overcoming Gambling Addiction Page 430

Program 15 Overcoming Grief And Bereavement Page

Program 16 Overcoming Low Self-Esteem Page 478

Program 17 Overcoming Mood Swings Page

Program 18 Overcoming Obsessiv e Compulsive Disorder Page 512

Program 19 Overcoming Pain Page 540

Program 20 Overcoming Panic Disorder Page

Program 21 Overcoming Social Phobia Page

Program 22 Overcoming Stress Page 592

Program 23 Overcoming Stress At Work Page

Program 24 Overcoming Traumatic Stress Page 613

Program 25 Overcoming Weight Problems Page 643

Program 1

COPING STRATEGIES COUNSELLING ADVICE

CONTENTS:

General Counselling I

General Counselling II

General Counselling III

General Counselling IV

General Counselling V

General Counselling VI

General Counselling VII

Modifying Maladaptive Thinking

Identifying Negative Feelings and Thoughts

Challenging Negative Feelings and Thoughts

Distorted Thinking

Thought Management Procedures

Self-Instructional Training

Strengthen Conviction in Alternative Functional Beliefs

Behavioural Principles

Summary for Cognitive Behavioural Change

Planning an Activity Schedule

Forgiveness

Frustration

Competitiveness and Perfectionism

Troublesome Emotions

Shame

Guilt

Jealousy

Hurt

Envy

Pride

Embarrassment

Humiliation

Healthy and Unhealthy Emotions

Improving Your Self-Image and Combating Self-Harm

Coping with the Need for Approval

Distraction Techniques

Problem-Solving

Procrastination

Managing Your Time

Controlled Breathing and Relaxation Techniques

Sleep Management

Exercise

Nutrition

Meditation

Creative Visualization

Self-Hypnosis

Autogenics

Eye Movement Technique (EMT)

Mood Induction Procedure

Rational Emotional Imagery (REI)

Imago Graded Exposure

In Vivo Graded Exposure

Persistence

Criticism

Countering Self-Criticism

Assertiveness Training

Building Confidence I

Building Confidence II

Building Confidence III

Building Confidence IV

You and Your Family

Removing the Obstacles to Intimacy

Sexual Problems

Dealing with Relationships

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)

Communication Training

Negotiation Training

Timetabled Activities

Reversed Role Play

Time-Limited Trivial Arguments

Triangles

Social Skills Training

Making Your Love Last

Medication

Relapse Prevention

1. General Counselling I

Write down your story so that you are clear about what it is that concerns you. What is the worst case scenario and how could you cope? Look at the past and consider the problems you experienced and how you coped. What did you envisage for yourself in the past? Clarify the present to yourself and what you want for the future. What is your ideal scenario and how can you achieve it what changes will you need to make? Set realistic goals and work toward them in small manageable steps.

What concerns you? What are the negative things about your current life? Write these down then consider the more positive things in your life.

Evaluate your commitment to change. It may take a few weeks to a few months to see any changes and you will need to persevere and keep up the effort despite occasional setbacks.

Deepen your understanding of both yourself and the situation you are seeking a solution to, by summarizing what you have considered so far this will enable you to begin to see yourself and the situation in a new light.

Think about what you would like to get out of this advice, for example improve: Living skills, physical lifestyle, interpersonal relationships (especially get more support from your partner and make sure s/he understands your difficulties), and overcome your problem.

Note the negative elements that push you and your partner apart (e.g. jealousy). What are the positive elements that draw you and your partner together (e.g. affection and good memories of the relationship?)

Consider any manoeuvres (brief, limited interpersonal operation; unhealthy objective; predictable, repetitive; unconscious; you have superficial rationalizations to explain behaviour) or stratagems (like a manoeuvre but is a prolonged interpersonal operation) you may be using (e.g. you or your partner may deliberately start an argument every time the other wants to talk about their problems).

Determine whether you or your partner is using the Illness stratagem and linking complications of anxiety to the others alleged non-compliance. Perhaps your partner feels a corrupted sense of obligation to you.

You need to understand that a well functioning family faces problems by: Openly communicating; exploring options; seeking outside help if they need it.

Explore a game playing familys coping mechanisms:

Denial are you and your partner denying anything is wrong or that something was wrong but will not happen again?