Ingram - Love, sex, and lasting relationships : Gods prescription for enhancing your love life

Love, Sex,
and Lasting
Relationships

2003 by Chip Ingram

Published by Baker Books
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.bakerbooks.com

Published in association with Yates & Yates, LLP, Literary Agents, Orange, California

Produced with the assistance of the Livingstone Corporation

Ebook edition created 2010

Ebook corrections 11.12.2013

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture is taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com

Scripture marked NASB is taken from the New American Standard Bible, Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture marked NKJV is taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture marked NLT is taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture marked TLB is taken from The Living Bible, copyright 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

I dedicate this book to Dave and Polly Marshall, who taught me by their lives and words how to do relationships Gods way. Thank you, Dave, for modeling personal purity and integrity. Thank you for letting me watch you date your wife, even after you had four children. And thank you for listening to my struggles and even sharing a few of your own. My marriage and family are a part of your spiritual legacy for the glory of God.

Contents

Written during a traumatic time in our lives, I am deeply grateful for Neil Wilsons flexibility in helping me write and edit the project, Annette Kypreoss organizational skill and encouragement, Vicki Crumptons patience and understanding, my wifes inspiration and modeling of these truths, and my childrens feedback and endurance in hearing and critiquing me on multiple occasions. Finally, a special word of appreciation goes to the people of Baker Book House who have demonstrated a commitment to excellence and a commitment to get this message to all corners of our culture.

Few subjects in life ignite as much passion and longing within us as our desire for love, our interest in sex, and our hope for enduring relationships. Regardless of our backgrounds, race, values, intelligence, or experience, we all long to be loved. Every human being on this planet craves to be that cherished person to someone else. In like manner, the mystery and the power of human sexuality draw us like an invisible magnet into the world of relationships.

Put simply, we humans are relational beings. We were made by God to love and be loved. We crave the intimacy, acceptance, security, and significance that flow when we bond in mind, heart, and body with a member of the opposite sex.

If you think Im overstating the case, stop and think about your first reaction to the title of this book. What caught your attention? What picture did it create in your mind? Maybe you pictured a couple rubbing noses on a windswept beach. Could you read romance in their gaze? Did you catch the sense of intimacy and shared richness of their awesome relationship? Did you put yourself in the picture?

If so, Ill tell you why. That picture represents our longing. You want what that couple has, and so do I. It doesnt matter if youre seventeen or seventy-seven, the words love, sex, and lasting relationships evoke immediate and powerful responses within each of us. Pictures that capture that hope also capture our attention.

Lets face it. After taking care of the necessities of life like food, clothing, and shelter, most of us spend the bulk of our waking hours pondering, pursuing, or solving problems related to this area of life. I mean, stop for a moment and consider the songs that we listen to every day, songs like:

Cant Live without Your Love, Babe

Aint Got No Lovin

If Loving You Is Wrong, I Dont Want to Be Right

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

Whats Love Got to Do with It?

Add to these almost any other song on the current Top Forty list.

Day after day, people all over the globe, representing every nationality and language, sing about their desires for or their disappointment with love.

Walk through your local bookstore, if youre not standing in one right now, and check out the romance novels, the self-help section, or the relational resources rack. Notice how many volumes focus in one way or another on sex, romantic love, or how to have a great relationship. Or the next time you go grocery shopping, examine the glossy and glamorous magazines in the racks by the checkouts. Has Cosmo ever had a cover without the word sex on it? Whos on the front of People, Globe, The Inquirer, and Star? Arent those publications filled with photos of whos together this week, whos rumored to have cheated on his or her mate, or what couples have joined the split list? Why do these magazines sell? Like it or not, we live in a world where love, sex, and relationships get top billing in the hearts and minds of nearly all of us.