Bernard - Be Phenomenal: Practical Steps to Discover Your Greatness Within and Live a More Purposeful Life

BE
PHENOMENAL

Practical Steps to Discover Your Greatness Within and Live a More Purposeful Life

LIDWINE BERNARD

Copyright 2015 Lidwine Bernard.

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ISBN: 978-1-4897-0476-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4897-0477-1 (e)

LifeRich Publishing rev. date: 06/11/2015

CONTENTS

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to my incredibly loving husband, David Bernard, and my beautiful daughter Niyah.

She was a confident, goal-oriented individual with a strong professional drive. It was obvious she was at the top of her game. There was something about her that was so different from me. I was far from jealous of her, but something in the essence of her demeanor intrigued me. She was everything that I was not: bold, tenacious, fearless, and self-assured. After meeting her, there was just one question that tilled in my mind repeatedly: What was it that made her so successful while I wasnt? We both were fortunate enough to be raised by both parents, the two of us had attended private school during our childhood, and our families had both been middle class. On the surface, it seemed that her and I had both been exposed to the same opportunities growing up.

Still, the fact of the matter remained: she was soaring ahead in life, while I was simultaneously sinking. Where had I gone wrong? I felt compelled to understand the reasons behind it, however I didnt even know where or how to begin analyzing the situation. Although I was married to a wonderful husband, and recently gave birth to a healthy, beautiful baby girl, I could not shake the feeling that something within me, and my life for that matter, was missing. Without a place to start, I only knew that I was extremely unhappy, and subsequently dissatisfied with my position in life.

I strongly disliked my nursing career, and realized that the people I had surrounded myself with werent motivated to become better in life. I had no goal, no drive. I had placed myself on autopilot and had lost the ability and knowledge to turn it off. I felt as though a monstrous cloud was constantly parading over me. The vast field of extravagant hopes and dreams I allowed myself to entertain in the past had suddenly disappeared. Confused and stuck, I began to ask myself how I would escape from the rut I was in. Would I ever find the light in the darkness?

If I was created by the one almighty God, and I was, then why was I held back from living the best life possible? The question rung through my head daily. Finally, after toiling with negativity and doubt, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery with the hope and intention of comprehending and changing the life I had come to dislike.

Throughout this book, I will be sharing the steps I took during those dark times that aided in the journey to find my way- my path- in life. It is my deepest prayer and greatest hope that this book inspires you to do the same, and helps you realize that you too can find your way into a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

Chapter One

MY PAST STORY

I was born and raised in the third world country of Haiti. I was blessed with the irregularity of being raised by both parents, and throughout my life we were lucky to be considered a middle class family. My father was very laid back. He rarely spoke, and was quiet so regularly, it was difficult for me to read him. Not once did he sit me down to inquire about my life; help me through a new hurtle of growing up, or to give advice. It was my mother who was the disciplinarian of the house. I admire the fact that she created and managed a successful business by herself. She was the breadwinner of the family, an incredible role model. I will be forever grateful for her courageous spirit, and in awe of the strength it took to maintain our household and her business while personally making sure my sister and I were well taken care of.

What she did not do was truly nurture us; she could not find a balance between her duties and taking time to nurture and cherish us. I am now totally clear on the fact that my mother gave me all she had, and that she could not have given me what she herself didnt have. I now know that she did the best she could with everything she had, because I know that it is imperative to understand: the way a person is treated by their parents as a kid is often a direct reflection of how they were treated by their own parents when they were little . Understanding that fact allowed me to begin the process of forgiveness.

Growing up, I always felt something was missing- that something just wasnt quite right. At that time, I did not know what factor created a hole in my heart, but I knew I always longed to be heard and seen by my parents. I longed for my mom to make me feel special, and yet I did not feel cherished by her. Being as young as I was, I didnt have the ability to fully understand why I didnt get the love and validation from my parents that I expected. My childhood self could not comprehend why my mother withheld love and affection from me, so therefore, I believed that I was the problem or that we are not good enough in the way most kids would. As a child, when you dont find love and validation from your parents you tend to believe that you are the problem, or that something youve done is the reason for it. At a very young age, I had come to believe that I was not worthy. It is true for many of us, that when love and attention are absent from a relationship we have with someone we love, such as parents or care takers, we begin to feel that the problem lies within us.

We are not the problem, we as children did nothing wrong. It is likely that our parents were just projecting what they were feeling at that time. It is also likely their insecurities, fears, unhappiness, and frustrations in life that was the root of the issue as opposed to the kids. As a child, you havent collected the wisdom and life experiences it requires to read between the lines of whats physically happening and whats causing it to happen behind the scenes. I rapidly lost my self-confidence at a very young age. I subsequently stopped dreaming of achieving great things, and stopped thriving in life. I did the minimum required of me, and began seeking attention and validation from outside. I didnt know how to believe in myself, and I lost my direction in life.

Later down the line, it became a common belief among my family and friends that a career in the nursing field was a successful route for young individuals, based on the level of job security and high salary. Without hesitation, I enrolled in nursing school without an idea of what my true purpose or calling was. I later noticed that no one I had been surrounded by during my youth ever mentioned the concept of having a purpose. My parents were not trained to guide and help me find what was I drawn to do. We never spoke about my goals and visions in life, and it was not until later in life that I realized everyone has to have a goal in life. People are goal-oriented creatures, and having a vision of greatness can raise a person through hard and difficult times. Everyone needs a vision or goal to get him or her up in the morning, and keep him or her going even when they feel like giving up.