McCann - You lost him at hello : from dating to I do - secrets from one of Americas top dating coaches

you lost

him at hello

From Dating to I Do

Secret Strategies from One of Americas Top Dating Coaches

Jess McCann

Health Communications, Inc.

Deerfield Beach, Florida

www.hcibooks.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

McCann, Jess.

You lost him at hello : from dating to I dosecret strategies from one of Americas top dating coaches / Jess McCann.

pages cm

Revised and expanded version of the authors You lost him at hello : a saleswomans secrets to closing the deal with any guy you want, published in 2008.

Includes index.

ISBN-13: 978-0-7573-1743-9 (pbk.)

ISBN-10: 0-7573-1743-X (pbk.)

ISBN-13: 978-0-7573-1744-6 (e-book)

ISBN-10: 0-7573-1744-8 (e-book)

1. Women--Psychology 2. Mate selection. 3. Dating (Social customs) I. Title.

HQ1206.M3643 2013

306.73dc23

2012045981

All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.

HCI, its logos, and its marks are trademarks of Health Communications, Inc.

Publisher: Health Communications, Inc.

3201 S.W. 15th Street

Deerfield Beach, FL 33442-8190

R-08-08

Cover design and cover photography by Jess McCann

Back cover photo by L. H. Lindberg Photography

Interior design and formatting by Lawna Patterson Oldfield

Acknowledgments

T o all the agents at Jean V. Naggar Literary Agency, especially Jessica Regel, thank you for all your hard work and support with this project.

To the HCI family, thank you for giving me the opportunity to revise this book. You have all gone above and beyond in supporting me and my quest to help women. A special thank-you to Peter Vegso and Allison Janse for making this revised edition possible.

Contents

Introduction

CHAPTER ONE Its Not Him, Its You!

The Common Denominator

Then Everything Changed

The Secret to My Dating Success

CHAPTER TWO A Winning Strategy

The Truth About Sales

Emotions vs. Logic

Are You Playing Games?

CHAPTER THREE The Product: You

Know Your Product

Love Your Product

Packaging Your Product

Attracting Attention To Your Product

CHAPTER FOUR Finding Him

Prospecting

The SEE Factor

Icebreakers

Prejudging

Filling the Funnel

CHAPTER FIVE Getting Him Interested

Recognizing Buying Signs

The KISS Principle

End at the Height of Impulse

Indifference

The Mirror Theory

The Jones Effect

CHAPTER SIX Keeping Him Interested

Hold Back Your Bullets

Dont Cut to the Close

Dont Sweeten the Deal

CHAPTER SEVEN Closing the Deal

Never Assume

Fear of Loss

Sense of Urgency

The Silent No

Buyers Remorse

CHAPTER EIGHT Maintaining the Right Mentality

Losing Him at Hello

Dont Drink and Date

The Waiting Game

No Means Next

Practicing in Gamelike Conditions

L ike most women out there, I used to struggle with dating. Lets face it, at some point, weve all been dumped, stood up, cheated on, or left stranded in limbo. Many of us have failed to take our relationships beyond a casual hookup. And get a guy to commit? Forget about it. You may as well be asking them to cut off their right leg.

Like many of you, I blamed men for all my dating problems. If only he had a better past, a better mother, or a better ex-girlfriend, I would not still be single. But after so many Its not you, its me speeches, I began to wonder. Maybe the guy wasnt at fault. Maybe there was a reason I was hearing the same excuses over and over. Maybe it really was me.

Accepting this revelation was not the end of my problems, unfortunately. In many ways it was only the beginning. Anytime my texts went unanswered, or a first date didnt result in a second, I beat myself up for days. What in the world was my problem? Why didnt men like me? What was it I was doing wrong?

Then, just when all hope seemed lost, a miracle occurred and everything changed. Guys began not only taking notice of me, they started asking me out. My dates turned into relationships, and boys turned into boyfriends. The once pitiful girl who could not give her phone number away was gone, and in true fairy-tale fashion, I met and married the love of my life.

This surprising turnaround would have some claiming divine intervention. For a while, I myself was in disbelief. But it wasnt a higher power that had changed the course of my relationship destiny. It was that I had unknowingly stumbled upon a formula for dating success.

In the past, I use to agonize over every move I made. How should I act? What should I say? When should I call him? Am I too available, or not available enough? These, and many other questions, danced in my head, making me dizzy and knocking me off course. Once I discovered this timeless strategy, however, all those questions were answered. I confidently took hold of my romantic affairs, fully trusting that what I had learned would lead me to love and happiness.

And it did.

I wrote this book because now I want to make your days of rejection a thing of the past. If you have struggled to get men interested in you, or stressed to keep them that way, I can help. Over the last several years I have studied and perfected a strategy to guide women through the dating process and deliver them safely on the other side. The techniques in this book will not only help you date smarter and find love faster, they will protect you from making common mistakes that could sabotage your chances for a solid relationship. Where did I find this insightful strategy? In the least likely place you would ever think to look.

Im not a psychologist like most relationship experts. At heart, Im an entrepreneur. Before I became a dating coach, I owned my own company where I hired and trained sales-people. Every day I taught the fundamentals of relationship building to my staff. I coached them on how to pique someones interest, how to build a strong rapport, and how to close them on a commitment.

This is where the strategy was hiding, just waiting to be discovered.

For years I believed that I was somehow not good enough to hold a guys interest. I thought if I were just a little prettier, or a little smarter, everything would be different. After learning the ins and outs of smart, strategic selling, however, it dawned on me that it was not who I was but what I was doing that kept me single and lonely. Once I applied my relationship-building skills to my actual relationships, my nonexistent love life finally came alive. Now yours can too.

This book will give you the strategies you need to get the guy you want.

You too can learn, just as I did, how to apply the tricks of the trade to selling your most important product: you . Gone are the days of waiting and wondering what to do next. Never again will you second-guess yourself when it comes to your relationships. Im going to teach you how to find a guy, meet him, get him interested, and keep him that way. Yes, it is all within your control. You are about to learn a proven strategy that will help you take any guy from hello to I do.