Rose - How to be a bad bitch

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Gallery Books

An Imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

1230 Avenue of the Americas

New York, NY 10020

www.SimonandSchuster.com

Copyright 2015 by Behind Her Shades, Inc.

Note to readers: Some names and identifying details of people portrayed in this book have been changed.

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information address Gallery Books Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.

First Gallery Books hardcover edition October 2015

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Interior design by Jaime Putorti

Jacket photographs and design by David LaChapelle

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN 978-1-5011-1011-5

ISBN 978-1-5011-1014-6 (ebook)

This book is dedicated to my mom, Dottie, for giving me my confidence, not judging me for my mistakes in life, and always having my back.

Love you, Mommy.

I m writing this book because I decided to do something for myself, no fucks given. And so here I am, telling my story, as a way to help all of you become the best you can be. Ive got plenty to tell, and plenty of advice to offer, having faced all kinds of trials and tribulations during every stage of my life. Ive learned from hard experience: pain eventually turns into strength.

But first things first. You might be surprised to learn that being a bad bitch doesnt mean acting like a bitch at all. Sure, a bad bitch puts herself firstshe has the vision to create her own unique look and devotes the time and energy to take care of herself and be well put togetheralways. But she also takes her obligations seriouslyto work, her family, her friends, and, when she chooses to have a man, him, tooand she shows up when she says she will. She has impeccable manners, no matter what. She can afford to be generous, in word and deed, because she knows shes got plenty of everything she needs. Shes together and strong in body, mind, attitude, and finances. She gets what she wants by any means necessary. When things dont go the way she wants them to, she takes the time to grieve her loss, learn the lessons to be learned, and come back a badder bitch than ever.

I was born a bad bitch. Even when my mom was raising me on a waitresss salary in South Philly and kids were calling me Four Eyes. Even when I became an exotic dancer. Even when I got myself to New York at twenty-one and lived on nothing, I knew I had it, and Ive never lost sight of that. Along the way, I kept my eyes open and gained experience wherever I could, and thats also how I came to be the Muva of all my fans, my Rosebuds. Not to say I havent made my fair share of mistakes over the years. In many ways, this book is a collection of all my errors in judgment and all the lessons Ive had to learn the hard way, so that maybe you can sidestep the setbacks Ive faced. But even when I was down and out, I knew Id be on my way back up soon, and I always knew I was a bad bitch. Which is the gift I want to give you. Because youve got it, too. You do. So here it is, the handbook to teach you how to be a bad bitch in all aspects of your life.

Lets get it done.

A bad bitch is the mistress of her reality. This means formulating a vision of who you are and what you want, and then taking the necessary steps until you have it all. No matter how crazy your dream may seem to everyone else. Who cares what they think? A bad bitch is not in the business of pleasing other people, thank you very much.

Take South Philly, for example. Im proud as hell to be from there, and so much of my strength comes from my experiences growing up. But I always had this feeling of not quite being at home there. As much as I loved my friends, we had very different visions of our futures. I swear to God, on my life, that I always used to say to my friends: I dont belong here. This city is too small for me. Im going to live in Hollywood.

My friends didnt get it. Not even my childhood friend Monique. Our moms knew each other, too, and both were raising us alone on their waitress salaries, but her mom was a functioning crack addict, and my moms biggest vice was her cigarettes.

Once when we were twelve, we were having a snack after school at the diner where my mom worked because we could eat there for free.

I want to have a baby, Monique said.

Now, I knew what sex was, but I certainly hadnt had any. I was a late bloomer, especially by my neighborhoods standards, and I still played with dolls.

Why would you want to have a baby? I said. Thats crazy.

I met this guy, and I want to have a baby with him, she said.

Girl, you have your whole life in front of you, I said. If you do that, youll be stuck in Philly for the rest of your life. Dont you want to get out of here?

Amber, my moms on crack, and my dads an alcoholic, she said. At least if I have a baby, itll show me love, and Ill be happy.