Sarah Knight - Calm the F*ck Down: How to Control What You Can and Accept What You Can’t So You Can Stop Freaking Out and Get On With Your Life

Id like to kick things off with a few questions:

How many times a day do you ask yourself What if? As in: What if X happens? What if Y goes wrong? What if Z doesnt turn out like I want/need/expect it to?

How much time do you spend worrying about something that hasnt happened yet? Or about something that not only hasnt happened, but probably wont?

And how many hours have you wasted freaking out about something that has already happened (or avoiding it, as a quiet panic infests your soul) instead of just dealing with it?

Its okay to be honestIm not trying to shame you. In fact, Ill go first!

My answer is: Too many, too much, and a LOT. I assume yours is too, because if the answer is Never, none, and ZERO, then you have no reason to be reading this book (nor, I might add, the hard-won qualifications to have written it).

Well, I come bearing good news.

When were finished, the next time you come down with a case of the what-ifsand whether they remain theoretical anxieties or turn into real, live problems that need solvininstead of worrying yourself into a panic attack, crying the day away, punching a wall, or avoiding things until they get even worse, youll have learned to replace the open-ended nature of that unproductive question with one thats much more logical, realistic, and actionable:

Then, youll deal with it, whatever it is.

But lets not get ahead of ourselvesfor now, we start with the basics.

Boy, does it. And when I think about all the shit that could or probably will happen to me on any given day, Im reminded of a lyric from departed musical genius and spiritual gangsta, the one, the only, Prince (RIP):

Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life.

The Purple One had suspect opinions about a lot of thingsamong them religion, tasteful fabrics, and age-appropriate relationshipsbut in this regard he was spot-on. Each morning that we wake up and lurch across this rotating time bomb called Earth, our baseline goal is to get through the day. Some of us are angling for morelike success, a bit of relaxation, or a kind word from a loved one. Others are just hoping not to get arrested for treason. (While every day, some of us are hoping someone else gets arrested for treason!)

And though each twenty-four-hour cycle brings the potential for good things to happenyour loan gets approved, your girlfriend proposes, your socks matchtheres also the chance that a big steaming pile of shit will land in your lap. Your house could get repossessed, your girlfriend might break up with you, your socks may become wooly receptacles for cat vomit. Not to mention the potential for earthquakes, tornados, military coups, nuclear accidents, the world wine output falling to record lows, and all manner of disasters that could strike at any time and really fuck up your shit. Especially the wine thing.

Thats just how life works. Prince knew it. You know it. And that is literally all you and Prince have in common.

So heres another question for you: When shit happens, how do you react? Do you freeze or do you freak out? Do you lock the bathroom door and cry or do you howl at the sky with rage? Personally, Ive been known to pretend shit is