Nick Sparks - As You Are: Ignite Your Charisma, Reclaim Your Confidence, Unleash Your Masculinity

AS YOU ARE

Ignite Your Charisma, Reclaim Your Confidence, Unleash Your Masculinity

NICK SPARKS

Copyright 2015 by Nick Sparks

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Editorial by Joseph J Romm & Tessla Coil

Dedicated to all of my alums for teaching me everything I know

about coaching and inspiring the contents of this book.

Thank you for putting your faith in me!

Disclaimer

The language I use throughout this book represents men communicating with women because thats what Ive successfully taught hundreds of guys to do. My advice, however, applies to anyone, man or woman, whos looking to improve their platonic and romantic communication with anyone else.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Im a dating coach, but for a long time women were a complete mystery to me.

Some people might find this hard to believe, but the reason I can relate to the hundreds of men with whom I've worked is that at one point or another I had the exact same insecurities that they have now. Ive faced every frustration, and thought that things would never get better; I would just have to settle for whatever came to me.

Then, the summer between my sophomore and junior years at the University of Michigan, I rented a room in a house with six sorority girls. I didn't think much of it at the time, but over the course of that summer, as the girls began considering me a friend, I got a glimpse into the female mind that most guys never see.

It really hit me one night, as I was watching American Idol with Ashley and Nicole, when Ashley dropped this bombshell: Jason is friggin perfect on paper. He just graduated with a great job at Merrill Lynch. Hes nice to me... almost too nice. I wish I liked him as much as he likes me, but I just cant get Randy out of my head. Who is Randy? I asked, quizzically. Ugh... He pisses me off. He never calls me back on time. Hes charming when he wants to be, and hes not even that hot... but I just CANT stop thinking about him. Why am I screwed up, Nick? she asked me.

Thats when I knew my first theory about attraction, which had been gaining steam in the back of my mind, was true. Attraction isnt fair. Its not that women don't like nice guys; its just that women arent wired the way youve been told. You see, Id been raised on what I call the Disney Approach to attraction -- the lie that if you behave like Prince Charming, put her on a pedestal, do her bidding, and treat her like an all-around princess, then shell magically fall for you.

Unfortunately, as Ill show you throughout this book, this couldnt be further from the truth. Thats the bad news. But I do have some good news. Even though attracting women isnt fair, it can be simple when you get just a few crucial things right. If you embody the basic principles I teach you in this book, people will react to you like youre the most awesome guy in the world, and youll have all the dates with the women youre really attracted to that you could ever want. If you ignore this advice, put this book back on the shelf, and refuse to take action, then youll keep seeing the same results youve been seeing.

My lesson that evening did not conclude with Ashleys rant about Randy. Soon, Nicole chimed in with, At least you have someone. Im smart, Im cool, Im hot [she was], why cant I find a guy?

Wait a minute, I chimed in, dont guys try to talk to you all the time? I had seen it with my own eyes -- some very good looking guys in fact. She replied, They do, but theyre either drunk or they make it all about themselves -- its desperate.

I could relate to these guys, so I said, You probably just make them nervous and thats how they compensate. She replied, Yeah right, theyre just cocky assholes, what do they have to be afraid of?

That hit something I knew to be true: women would never be attracted to a guy who was afraid of them or put them on some pedestal Disney princess style. I knew this, but I still wasnt quite sure how to overcome those insecurities.

Finally, I got to meet, and actually spend quite a bit of time with Randy. Lets just say he wasnt what I was expecting. Ashley wasnt lying when she said he wasnt that hot. In fact, Id consider him to be of below average attractiveness, and he even smelled a little bit. I couldnt believe that Ashley was that crazy about him.

I figured Randy must be the most charming, charismatic guy in the world, but he wasnt. He was always cool to me, but he barely said anything. I was used to getting positive responses from people from my sense of humor -- from coming up with something clever to say. Randy just dropped a comment every once in a great while, which I didnt think was all that funny, but would have the women laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world.

There was one thing that set Randy apart: he had the ability to intimidate with just a look. It wasn't aggressive, but it was just enough to make you question yourself a bit. It was more than once that I saw him shoot that look to Ashley before they headed up to her bedroom. I didnt realize it at the time, but I was witnessing an amazing example of the thing that makes the biggest difference in every interaction you have. (Dont worry, I cover it in the first chapter.)

After immersing myself in the female mind that summer and subconsciously picking up some of Randys mannerisms, I started having more female friends and began dating some pretty amazing girls on campus that fall. My friends who had been absent that summer noticed the difference and began asking for advice. Before long, I became the unofficial coach of the group, which eventually expanded to being the go-to guy around campus for both men and women to come to for dating advice.

Ten years -- and hundreds of clients -- later, I can now see with deadly accuracy all the ways a guy can sabotage his romantic life. Each of my coaching successes and failures have taught me something new, led me to do something a little different, until I reached this point. Now I can teach you the actions needed to turn it all around. Now I can guarantee success.

Can you relate to any of the following guys?

Mateo was sick of being brushed off when he tried to talk to a woman. He didn't know what to say to change this and soon stopped trying to talk to them altogether.

Tony couldn't walk -- and believed that women would never be attracted to a guy in a wheelchair.

David was a lion at getting phone numbers -- but a lamb at getting those women to go on a date.

Adam had trouble telling if a woman was actually into him -- the fact that he was blind didn't help.

Eric was in love with Kaitlin for as long as he could remember, but she didnt see him as anything more than a friend.

While their specific frustrations were different, these men all had one thing in common: they were unsatisfied with their dating lives or social lives in general. They didn't want to settle, face a messy divorce, pass their insecurities down to their children, or limit their professional development. They had tried to change things in the past, failed, and began to wonder if they could change. Deep down though, they had a feeling that they deserved better.

This is the reason that these men and hundreds of others from all over the globe choose to work with me -- well, that and my 100% satisfaction rate.

I'm a dating coach. It's my job to resolve these frustrations, give guys complete confidence with women, and deliver the life we all truly deserve -- amazing friends, a lack of anxiety when it comes to social and sexual communication, and the prospects of a partner who were truly excited to be with.