Connell Barrett - Dating Sucks, but You Dont: The Modern Guys Guide to Total Confidence, Romantic Connection, and Finding the Perfect Partner

Smart, funny, classy, and practical as f*ck. The book all single menand our cultureneed right now.

Mike Sacks, Vanity Fair

Connell Barrett

Dating Sucks, but You Dont

The Modern Guys Guide to Total Confidence, Romantic Connection, and Finding the Perfect Partner

Tiller Press

Dating Sucks, but You Dont is smart, funny, classy, and practical as fuck. Connells stories will make you laughand sometimes cringeand his advice will transform your dating life without turning you into a douche. Its the book all single guys need to read now, and exactly what our culture needs at this moment.

Mike Sacks, editor at Vanity Fair, New York Times bestselling author of Poking A Dead Frog

This is not just a book about how to attract the right woman. Its about how to be a better man.

Sean Abrams, AskMens sex and dating editor

This book is a wake-up call for men to reject toxic masculinity and embrace empathy and vulnerability. Its a must-read for single men in the #MeToo era.

Mike Johnson, Bachelorette star, Instagram influencer, bestselling author of Making the Love You Want

Dating in L.A. sucks. Its refreshing to read a book that teaches guys what women really want: true authenticity. Theres nothing sexier than a man who knows who he is.

Ione Butler, actress, bestselling author of Uplifting Stories

Few have as firm a handle on the modern dating landscape as Connell Barrett. Eloquent, passionate, informative, and empoweringhe understands what makes men tick, what women want, and what all of us need to improve in our journey towards love and happiness.

Brian Howie, host of The Great Love Debate podcast

To find the woman of your dreams, you need confidence, a positive mindset, and a tested, step-by-step plan. This book gives you all three.

Jim Fannin, peak-performance coach for elite athletes and businesses, bestselling author of The Blueprint

This book helps good-hearted guys find love without having to use any pickup tricks or play any games. Nice guys do finish first.

Karen Salmansohn, bestselling author of books that have sold more than two million copies, including Happy Habits

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Copyright 2021 by Connell Barrett

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, address Simon & Schuster Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.

First Tiller Press hardcover edition May 2021

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Interior design by Jennifer Chung

Stop icon by Adrien Coquet/The Noun Project

Sleep, Wink, In Love, and Happy icons by Jo Santos/The Noun Project

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Poop icon by Icon Island/The Noun Project

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Cover design by Patrick Sullivan

Author photo by Riane Bawalan

Leather texture by Shutterstock

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication

Names: Barrett, Connell, author.

Title: Dating sucks, but you don't / Connell Barrett.

Description: New York, NY : Tiller Press, [2021] | Includes bibliographical references. Identifiers: LCCN 2020048094 (print) | LCCN 2020048095 (ebook) | ISBN 9781982159139 (hardcover) | ISBN 9781982159153 (ebook) | Subjects: LCSH: Dating (Social customs) | Mate selection. | Man-woman relationships. | Men--Life skills guides. Classification: LCC HQ801 .B329 2021 (print) | LCC HQ801 (ebook) | DDC 306.73--dc23

ISBN 978-1-9821-5913-9

ISBN 978-1-9821-5915-3 (ebook)

To the memory of my mom, who taught me my ABCs.

To Alex, who let me get close.

And to the magnetic, authentic man youre about to become.

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone elses opinions, their lives a mimicry.

Oscar Wilde, De Profundis; author, playwright, authentic soul

Youre so money and you dont even know it!

Trent (Vince Vaughn), Swingers

W hat do women want? Its one of lifes most elusive, profound questions, right up there with Are we alone in the universe? and Do dogs name their owners?

You might think that a mans dating success comes down to looks, height, or money, but those things dont really matter. Theyre like Jacuzzisnice to have but way overrated.

So, what do women really want? How can you get the girl? The answer comes down to one word: authenticity.

Or to elaborate: Be who you truly are at your core, because women will like you for you.

Lean into being the nice guy, or brainy introvert, or divorced dad that you are. If you embrace authenticity in your love life, then your confidence will skyrocket, youll get more dates, and youll soon be sharing your life with a wonderful woman who loves the real you.

I hesitate to give it all away right out of the gate, especially if you havent yet swiped your credit card and bought this book, but I want to be straight with you. Authenticity is always the answer to finding the woman of your dreams, and Ill go into why in just a bit. But first, ask yourself if any of these dating problems sound familiar:

• You want to approach beautiful womenat your gym, in bars, in cafs, whereverbut something holds you back.
• You get ghosted a lot.
• Youre often banished to the friend zone by women youre into.
• Youre not sure how to flirt or how to keep conversations going, and when you do talk to women youre attracted to, you tend to run out of things to say.
• You swipe and swipe on dating apps, but you get few (if any) quality matchesand the matches you get rarely turn into dates.
• You perhaps do go on some datesbut not with the kinds of women youd love to meet.
• You havent had a great girlfriend in a while, and sometimes you feel lonely.
• You have a scarcity of dating optionsat least, ones youre excited about.
• Youve settled before and are likely to do so again.
• You feel that cool, cute girls are out of your league, that somehow youre not enough for them.