Judith C. Tingley - Genderflex(TM): Men & Women Speaking Each Others Language at Work

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title	:	Genderflex : Men & Women Speaking Each Other's Language At Work
author	:	Tingley, Judith C.
publisher	:	AMACOM Books
isbn10 | asin	:	0814402666
print isbn13	:	9780814402665
ebook isbn13	:	9780814424124
language	:	English
subject	Man-woman relationships, Communication--Sex differences, Sex differences (Psychology) , Language and languages--Sex differences.
publication date	:	1994
lcc	:	HQ801.T495 1994eb
ddc	:	305.3
subject	:	Man-woman relationships, Communication--Sex differences, Sex differences (Psychology) , Language and languages--Sex differences.

Page iii Genderflex Men & Women Speaking Each Other's Language at Work Judith C. Tingley, Ph.D

Page iv This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional service. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Tingley, Judith C. Genderflex: men & women speaking each other's language at work / Judith C. Tingley. p. cm. Originally published as: Genderflex: ending the workplace wars between the sexes. Includes bibliographical references and Index. ISBN 0-8144-0266-6 1. Man-woman relationships. 2. CommunicationSex differences. 3. Sex differences (Psychology) 4. Language and languages Sex differences. I. Amacom. II. Title. HQ801. T495 1994 305.3dc20 94-16324 CIP AMACOM Hardcover Edition, 1994. 1993 Judith Tingley, Ph.D. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. The AMACOM Books edition is published by arrangement with the author. Previously published as: GenderflexEnding the Workplace Wars Between the Sexes. This publication may not be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in whole or in part, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of AMACOM, a division of American Management Association, 1601 Broadway, New York, NY 10019. Printing number 10 9 8 7 6 5 4

Page v Contents Acknowledgments vii Introduction ix 1 Let the Peace Talks Begin 1 2 The Big Three Content, Style and Structure 21 3 Adapting to the Difference 39 4 Women's Communication What to Enhance, Improve, Delete 53 5 Men's Communication What to Keep, Add, Dump 75 6 "I Was Just Joking! Can't You Take a Joke?" 91 7 "I'm Not Too Emotional!" 113 8 "Of Course I Take Women Seriously!" 137 9 "I Do Have a Sense of Humor." 159 10 "No, Nothing's Wrong." 179 11 Why These Dramatic Differences Between Men and Women? 199 12 Generalizing & Genderflexing It Works 211 Appendix A: The System 225 Appendix B: Requesting a Change in Behavior 227 Appendix C: Feeling Word List 231 Appendix D: Active Listening Techniques 235 Appendix E: Noticing Feelings 239 Appendix F: Genderflex Techniques 241 Bibliography 243 Index 251

Page vii Acknowledgments Writing this book has been a result of many life experiences. The people who have contributed much to those life experiences have been my husband, Mike Killion, the best genderflexing, Judyflexing communicator I know, and my children, Sara, David, Steven and Jim. They have taught me a lot about gender and communication and have listened to me critically, supportively and respectfully. Thanks go to DJ Bean of Dangerous' Concepts, the book's creative director, and to Robert Henschen, my editor, who was always working on the book, and always available, helpful, motivating and flexible. My relationship with Bob was one of the easiest working relationships I've had with someone of the other gender. Thanks, too, to my good friend Jan Dingman who was accepting when I was stressed, and willing and able to help me in many ways, as did my daughter, Sara, during the last hectic weeks before publication.

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