Amari Soul - Reflections of a Man

There is no such thing as a self-made man; thats just an example of a man too caught up in himself to look around and acknowledge the strength of the woman standing next to him.

What Men Know

Most men know exactly what it would take to make their woman happy. Theyre just too stubborn, too egotistical or too lazy to do it.

I believe most women, who have been with their man for any reasonable amount of time, want their man to know exactly what it would take to keep them happy. You drop subtle hints, you outright say it, and when you dont, it still comes across through your actions and reactions. So, for the most part, he should know. If he knows and still doesnt do it, its most likely because of one of the previously mentioned reasons. If after all this time he still doesnt know, he simply hasnt been paying any attention to you at all.

A Mans Ego

Whats more fragile than a womans heart?
A mans ego.

L et me explain. When you first meet a man and he lies to you about what his economic status is or what his current relationship status is, thats all to protect his ego. You see, at that point, hes decided that hes interested in you, but his insecurities are telling him that you wont accept him for who or what he is. So, he creates an illusion of who he thinks you would like him to be, thus reducing his chances of rejection. However, when you look a little deeper, its not the rejection alone that he fears most. What he fears the most is the feeling that rejection causes and how that feeling impacts his ego. That is, in fact, his worst fear.

In the end, some men would be willing to go to any lengths to protect their egos, up to and including lying to you, cheating on you, and ultimately breaking your heart.

When He Changes Around His Friends

If he changes the way he treats you when hes around his friends, he either hasnt been keeping it real with them or he hasnt been keeping it real with you.

T rue love remains consistent regardless of the situation or the environment. If he truly loves you, his actions should show it whether you are in private, public, or the company of his friends. In fact, when he is around his friends, he should feel a heightened sense of pride just having you there with him. If he doesnt, it could mean he cares more about impressing his friends than he cares about how you feel. Its also possible that hes been lying to them all along about how he feels about you, or maybe hes been lying to you.

If He Doesnt Include You

A man who doesnt include you when he talks about his future, either isnt paying attention or he doesnt see you as being a part of it.

S ometimes, the best way to get an honest answer is not to ask the question directly but indirectly. If you have been with your man, for a reasonable amount of time, and you are unsure about what his intentions are regarding your future, ask him the following question: If you could paint a picture of how your life will be in five years, how would it look?

He should then begin to describe to you how, in his minds eye, he envisions his life to look in five years. Youll notice that hell talk to you about all the things that are his primary focus; you would hope that you and the relationship would be one of them. Pay particularly close attention to how often he uses the word me or I instead of us or we.

By the end of the conversation, you should have a pretty good idea of where you stand. The beautiful thing about it is he most likely wont even realize that he will have answered the big question that you never even asked.

Relationship Title My Main

Contrary to popular belief, this is not a compliment.

I f he calls you his main, that is not a compliment. What he is essentially saying to you is that you are not the only one. Nine times out of 10, if he calls you his main, he has given all the other women he is seeing the same title as well.

In short, my main is a polite way of him telling you that he likes you enough to sleep with you but not enough to commit to you.

Self-Fulfilled Prophecy

Some men have so convinced themselves that a good woman does not exist that they subconsciously will ruin a relationship, with a good woman, just to prove themselves right.

I f his negative expectations about you are strong enough, those feelings will begin to manifest themselves in his actions. Eventually, this will cause him to act in a manner that will ultimately increase the chances of those negative expectations being fulfilled.

Is He Really Willing To Wait?

When a man says that hes willing to wait until youre ready, it doesnt necessarily mean hes willing to wait.

H ere is where the game changes. Now, to be fair, some men will honor that statement and not be intimate with anyone else during this waiting period. However, those arent the men Im referring to here. The ones Im referring to have a different plan in mind. What they plan to do is exactly what they said they would do, wait until you are ready. The problem is the waiting is tied directly to you and only you, no one else. In short, hes agreed to not push the issue with you, thus earning brownie points for appearing not to be only after one thing.