Barbara De Angelis - What Women Want Men to Know: The Ultimate Book About Love, Sex, and Relationships for You and the Man You Love

Copyright 2001 Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D.

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher. For information address Hyperion, 1500 Broadway, New York, New York 10036.

The Library of Congress has catalogued the original hardcover edition of this book as follows:

De Angelis, Barbara.

What women want men to know: the ultimate book about love, sex, and relationships for youand the man you love/Barbara De Angelis.1st ed.

p. cm.

ISBN 0-7868-6995-0

1. Man-woman relationships. 2. International relations. 3. Love. 4. Sex. I. Title.

HQ801 .D435 2001

306.7dc21

2001024362

eBook Edition ISBN: 978-1-4013-0585-7

First eBook Edition

Original hardcover edition printed in the United States of America.

www.HyperionBooks.com

Secrets About Life Every Woman Should Know

How to Make Love All the Time

Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know

Are You the One for Me?

Real Moments

Ask Barbara

Confidence

The Real Rules

Passion

Chicken Soup for the Couples Soul

To the one I waited for all these years,
in honor of Love that does not flee from the face of fire,
but joyfully submits,
knowing that, through grace,
it will be transformed into gold.

I would like to express my deep love and gratitude to the following people:

First, to the thousands of women who, over the past twenty years, have attended my seminars, called me on the radio, written me letters, and trusted me with your secrets: This is the book youve been asking for.

To Harvey Klinger, my dear friend and literary agent: Eleven books later, and were still togetherthats a successful relationship for us both! Thank you for being a strong and steady presence in my life, and for always believing in me.

To Leslie Wells, my editor at Hyperion: Thank you for your patience and trust that I will deliver what I promise. You are the most enthusiastic cheerleader!

To my business partner, Bob Marty: Im so glad you finally showed up. Thank you for restoring my faith in co-creation, and being a true friend.

To my assistant, Alison Betts: No words are adequate to express my gratitude for the blessing of your presence in my life. You are the sister and the daughter I never had, and yet you take care of me like the most nurturing mother. You alone know what it took to make this book happen. Thank you for always knowing who I am, and for being there in ways I wouldnt even know how to ask for.

To Andres Garcia, Alisons husband: Thank you for sharing your wife with me so generously, and for helping her take care of my family.

To Ruth Cruz: Thank you for your loving service, your pure heart, and your tender care of me, Bijou, Shanti, and Luna.

Special thanks to: Lucinda Faraldo, for the sweet and open way you love and support me; Jedd Rabon, for a gift too precious ever to repay; Marilyn and Joe Herst, for taking care of me at a very tender timeyou are true examples of great, spiritual souls; David Steinberg, for all the wisdom you share that continues to help me learn compassion, patience, and trust.

To my true friends on the spiritual path, whose unwavering loyalty and love, now more than ever, is priceless:

Amanda Kamsler: Thank you for being my protector and never letting go of my hand. The only good thing about your being on the other side of the world is that whenever I need you I can call you in the middle of my nighttime, and youre up because its daytime in Australia.

Pam Kear: Even though were far apart, I feel you with me always. You love me with so much compassion and kindness, and every day I thank God that we met.

Timothy Lehman: You are my soul brother, and so much more. Thank you for teaching me to be in the moment, for always being there to listen to my heart, and for being such a wise, ancient friend.

Vidura Barrios: You always give me sweetness, laughter, and love.

Sandra Crowe: For reminding me, as I remind you, that we both deserve the best, and for a reunion too miraculous to believe.

To my dear friend Robyn Todd: You are the sister I never had, and we both know you showed up just in time. I could never have imagined how much I would need you, or how much you would be there for me always. Thank you for a million moments of love and support.

To those who guide me in mystical ways with their gifts, I offer my humble thanks:

Jane Miller, for always keeping my vision on the highest, for encouraging me to find the strength to hold the door open so light could peek through, and for teaching me how to have faith until the darkness passed.

Margaret Sweet, for your continuing wisdom and clarity always shared in the sweetest way.

Judy Hevenly, for being a true angel.

Barbara Reeder, for being a visionary and a friend, and reminding me of my reason for being here.

Dr. Sat Kaur Khalsa, for your continued guidance and untiring support.

To Mom and Dan: Thank you for always believing in me and, over and over again, offering me unconditional love.

To Walter Muller and Mariarosa Ortega de Muller: You are like a second set of parents to me. Thank you for welcoming me so quickly into your hearts, for recognizing the purity and dedication of my love, and for being there for me whenever I have needed you. Te quiero mucho.

To my little fur angels, Bijou, Shanti and Luna: You are the most faithful and loving companions on this earth. I see you sleeping beside me even as I write this, reminding me that God shows me His love every day through you.

And to you whom Ive given my whole heart: This book is for you.

I wrote this book for you, and for the man you love. I believe that it is a book every woman has always wished existed, a book she could give to her mate that would effectively explain all the things she wanted him to know about loving her. Read this, she would say, and you will understand me.

How many times have I myself wished for such a book: times when it was clear that, once again, I had failed to successfully convey my needs to my partner; times when, no matter how hard I tried, I could not convince him that if only he would make one small gesture or handle a situation a bit differently, things would be so much easier between us; times when my attempt to communicate what I wanted and why it was important to me resulted in him concluding that I was simply too needy rather than being motivated to do something that would make me happy. In these, and so many other moments, I would sigh, as all women have undoubtedly sighed for thousands of years, and wish there was some way I could get through to him, some way to make him understand.

If you are a woman reading this, you know this sigh well. It is the sigh that whispers, I just want him to care enough to really see who I am.