Smith - The woman’s guide to how men think : love, commitment, and the male mind

Shawn T. Smith, PsyD, is a psychologist in private practice in Denver, CO. He is author of the book The Users Guide to the Human, and writes a blog at ironshrink.com. Smith enjoys various manly activities, including being a husband and father. He lives with his wife and daughter, and their dog.

The war of the sexes is historical, and methods of creating peace are plentiful, but few work well. In The Womens Guide to How Men Think, the author, a man, offers women a code to male thinking that could bring an end to this war, if embraced. Readable, practical, and wise, I recommend this book to all women who want to understand men and to all men who would like a better understanding of themselves.

Harville Hendrix, PhD, author of Getting the Love You Want and coauthor of Making Marriage Simple

Shawn Smiths book is not only notable for its helpful contents, but also for the way in which he opens his heart and mind as an authentic, personal ambassador of the good men he represents. In every chapter he gently but firmly builds upon his basic premises: women can master the tools to get more of what they need from their men, guys are relatively easy to love if women dont expect them to be like them, and women and men need each others core contributions if they want to create the ultimate fulfillment each of them deserves. In a unique blend of substantial research, humor, and a strong conviction in what he believes in, Smith delivers his story in a manner that is easy to embrace.

Randi Gunther, PhD, author of Relationship Saboteurs

We have always known that men and women think differently, and now that difference is brought to light in an uplifting, easy-to-read guide to understanding how the male mind actually works. Smith has given women the gift of how to really get to know the man they love, and how to love him more.

Barton Goldsmith, PhD, author of The Happy Couple

Shawn Smith has written a powerful primer for modern women who have not been schooled in gender differences. The Womans Guide to How Men Think takes a gentle approach to helping women understand what makes men tickwhich will, in turn, help women find the love they seek.

Suzanne Venker, author and cultural critic

Shawn Smiths book provides a wonderful service in helping women understand men. He weaves together research, clinical experience, and personal experience in a clear, accessible way. I will recommend this book to clients and students, as he is able to highlight the influence of gender without stereotyping or being simplistic. Smith shows us how to avoid the trap of resentment that comes with misunderstanding, and gives thoughtful and practical examples that can improve relationships.

Shelly Smith-Acua, PhD, author of Systems Theory in Action and dean of the graduate school of professional psychology at the University of Denver

I cant think of another self-help book Ive enjoyed reading so much. Its rare to find one that is not only scientifically-based and incredibly practical, but also laced with humor. Chocablock full of fascinating insights into male psychology, this book provides an honest, realistic, and effective pathway for improving and enriching your closest relationships.

Russ Harris, author of The Happiness Trap

Shawn Smith does not apologize for male traits, nor does he try to change them. Instead, he reveals what they mean to women who want a better relationship with the man who possesses those traits. This book walks female readers through the male mind, and helps them understand how to be more empathetic and connected to the man they love. This book teaches that mens behavior and love is not better or worse, just different. Acknowledging the difference is what makes this guide a gem.

Helen Smith, PhD, author of Men on Strike: Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dreamand Why It Matters and forensic psychologist in Knoxville, TN

Smith is a brilliant writer who explains the mysteries of the male mind with intelligence, compassion, and humor. His well-researched book is a compelling guide that provides a better understanding of men and will result in improved relationships. This is a must-read for every woman.

Michelle Skeen, PsyD, radio show host and author of The Critical Partner

A thoroughly enjoyable read! This book is an easy and practical guide for those looking to understand some of the key aspects of the male mind. With relevant research, interesting case studies, and easy-to-follow man tips, this book makes men more accessible in relationships. It sheds light on why men crave being effective, and the way they differ in terms of problem solving, listening, and needing appreciation. It also highlights common male patterns like the silence hole and offers ways to get men to be more present and engaged. Reading this book will give you a new perspective on the man in your life.

John Aiken, relationship psychologist, TV host, and best-selling author

If you are lost in translation when you are trying to communicate with your man, this is the go-to guide for you. Smith provides a wonderfully clear understanding of the relational disconnect that plagues many relationships. In reader-friendly language, he presents sound and positive strategies to help struggling couples. It is an invaluable resource!

Carolyn Daitch, PhD, author of Anxious in Love

At first glance, A Womans Guide to How Men Think suggests a twenty-first century version of John Grays classic, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus; however, rather than focus on men at their worst, Shawn Smith writes about what he terms good men. As a therapist who promotes secure-functioning relationships, I find his premisethat there are men willing and able to love and commit in relationshipsrefreshing. Readers of both genders should find this book sheds new light on many of the age-old dilemmas of pair bonding.

Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

Copyright 2013 by Shawn Smith

New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

5674 Shattuck Avenue

Oakland, CA 94609

www.newharbinger.com

Cover design by Amy Shoup; Text design by Tracy Marie Carlson

Acquired by Melissa Kirk; Edited by Jasmine Star

All Rights Reserved

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Smith, Shawn T., 1967

The womans guide to how men think : love, commitment, and the male mind / Shawn T. Smith, PsyD.

pages cm

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-1-60882-789-3 (pbk. : alk. paper) -- ISBN 978-1-60882-790-9 (pdf e-book) -- ISBN 978-1-60882-791-6 (epub) 1. Man woman relationships--Psychological aspects. 2. Men--Psychology. 3. Sex differences (Psychology) 4. Couples--Psychology. I. Title.

HQ801.S656 2014

155.332--dc23

2013041599