Rom Wills - Nice Guys And Players: Becoming The Man Women Want

Nice Guys

And

Players

Becoming the Man Women Want

Nice Guys

And

Players

Becoming the Man Women Want

Rom Wills

Wills Publishing

Nice Guys and Players

Becoming the Man Women Want

Copyright 2015 Kindle Edition

By

Romuald P. Wills

All rights are reserved. Names and situations in this book, unless otherwise noted are fictitious examples only. Any resemblance to actual persons and events are purely coincidental. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner without express written permission from

Rom Wills

romwills@aol.com

To my sons.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Larry and Christa have dated for three months. Larry is nice and respectful to Christa. He helps her grocery shop and makes sure her car is always clean and filled with gas. He takes her to the restaurant of her choice. Larry calls when he says he will. He never gets mad if Christa says shes going to hang out with the girls. Larry even gives her spending money. Larry has a good job, clean apartment in a good neighborhood, and a dependable car. He dresses cleanly and appropriately despite being somewhat pudgy. He volunteers to mentor young fatherless boys and viewed as a role model by many people. Christas parents think Larry would make a great son-in-law. Whats missing from Larry and Christas relationship is they have yet to be intimate. Christa told Larry she wanted to wait until they were married before having sex. Larry, although turned on by Christa, understand and doesnt pressure her. After one date, Larry kisses Christa and goes home thinking he has found a great woman. He dreams about the day they will be married. He fantasizes about how he will one day make love to her slowly and romantically.

Once Larry is gone, Christa pages Patrick. Patrick answers the page. Then Christa invites him to come over to her apartment despite the fact its after midnight. When Patrick arrives he is wearing an oversized shirt, baggy jeans, and boots. He looks a model right out of a hip-hop magazine. Christa has on a red teddy. As soon as Patrick gets in the door he starts taking off his clothes. Christa gets hot over the sight of Patricks hardbody. Patrick wastes no time in having sex with Christa. He takes off her teddy and starts having sex with her right on the couch. The sex is hot and intense. Christa feels like she is in heaven. After the sex Patrick gets up, puts on his clothes and leaves. No foreplay, no afterplay, barely a kiss. Christa doesnt mind because she always screams out in orgasm with Patrick.

Scenarios like the one I just described happen every day. Most men are either like Larry who is nice and kind to women or like Patrick who uses women for sex. Most men are either nice guys or players. Nice guys are largely ignored by women and when they do manage to get into a relationship, in many cases their time and generosity are taken advantage of. Players, on the other hand, get plenty of attention from women. Players can act anyway they please and get away with it because the majority of women want them. Both the nice guy and the player face significant problems when trying to find the right woman.

The problems nice guys have are obvious. Women simply dont see them. A woman will walk into a room with 90 nice guys and 10 players and only notice the players. Nice guys wonder why they dont get more attention. They read the books and articles about how women want sensitive men just like them. They hear women complain about how they have been mistreated by players and yet these women constantly go after players. After a while, many good men begin to withdraw from the dating scene. They become alone and bitter. Some even become players and treat women poorly. The problems players face are not as obvious. After all they get plenty of women. Many players have women approach them on the street. Women buy them clothes, loan them their cars, and let them live rent-free in their apartments. If women are not doing this then they are rushing over to be with the player whenever he wants them. The player seems like he has control. To a nice guy this must seem like heaven. This is not the case.

Players are human. No matter how many women a player is able to get there is always one woman wholl reject him. Shes the woman the player will fall in love with. No matter what he does she will not seriously consider him as a mate. Another scenario is when a woman is using the player for sex. Using the above example, Christa has no intentions of being serious with Patrick. She wants to marry Larry and maybe keep Patrick on the side. The problem is that Patrick is starting to feel something for Christa but she sees him as a sex partner and not a viable candidate for a long term relationship. Patrick feels used and wonders why Christa doesnt appreciate him for anything other than sex.

Someone reading this may consider Christa to be mean, deceitful, and manipulative. She is in a way. Lets, however, break this down. Christa has one man to take care of her emotional needs: Larry. Larry is steady, dependable, and would make a good husband. Larry, however, doesnt turn on Christa physically. Patrick takes care of Christas physical needs but is not dependable and is emotionally distant. The ideal man for Christa would be dependable like Larry and physically appealing like Patrick. Someone reading this may think this is a fantasy but it is not.

Women, and men as well, must be satisfied mentally as well as physically. This is especially true for women. This affects how a woman chooses a man and the nature of that relationship. Typically a man will only partly satisfy a woman because of these two needs. To fully satisfy a woman a man has to have both the characteristics of a nice guy and of a player. A man must become balanced between the two.

This book discusses steps to be taken by nice guys to become more physically appealing and steps to be taken by the player to become more emotionally appealing. This book will further discuss steps to be taken even after balance has been achieved.

People may wonder why Im writing this book. The reason is simple. Male/female relationships are in a crisis state. Men and women are at war with each other. There are many casualties in this war. Many people have had their heads messed up. There have even been deaths. The main casualties are the children. While mommy and daddy are playing games the children are being neglected and hurt. The abuse of many children has its roots in this conflict. I couldnt sit by and do nothing.

I address this book to men. Not to say that women cannot read and learn from whats in this book. I address this book to men because many of the books on male/female relationships are addressed to ladies. The ladies are eating up these books and becoming empowered. They are doing much to try and improve the state of relationships. I applaud their efforts. The problem is only one side of the issue is being addressed. So what if the ladies make themselves more appealing to men. So what if they work on bad attitudes and poor appearances. So what if they adjust their standards from wanting a high powered attorney to wanting a hardworking construction worker. For relationships to improve both men and women must get their acts together.

This book is for the men who do all those nice things for women only to watch them fall for the player. It is for the man who can get all the women except for the one he actually wants. I understand both these positions. In my life I have been both nice guy and player.

I dont have a Ph.D. Im a man who has seen a lot in life. My greatest qualification to write about relationships is my experience. I have dated women from all over the world. Women old and young have confided in me. As they shared their experiences I have learned a lot and feel compelled to share what I have learned. It is my sincere desire that my perspective will help many good, hardworking men find the happiness they deserve.