Barbara De Angelis - Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know: Find Out How They Really Feel About Women, Relationships, Love, and Sex

S ECRETS ABOUT HOW WOMEN
RELATE TO MEN

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H ave you ever wished that men would come with instruction booklets? If you buy a toaster, or an answering machine, its always accompanied by a nice little booklet that helps you understand the product, explains its features, and tells you how to avoid hurting yourself when you use it. Well, what about men? As women, we use men more than our other appliances, yet were expected to figure out how they work all by ourselves.

Every day of our lives, you and I deal with menour husbands or boyfriends, our bosses or employers, our fathers, our sons, our friends. We try to understand them, to take care of them, to communicate with them, to love themand to get them to love us back. When it works, we think men are fantastic, and were sure we couldnt live without them. When it doesnt work, we think men are impossible, and that wed be much better off never having to deal with them at all. If youre like me, Im sure that at some point in your life youve thrown your hands up in frustration and felt like saying, Send this man back to the factoryhes defective! There must be a part missing, because he sure isnt functioning properly, or, Maybe this model has been discontinuedI cant make him work right!

As a woman, you have three choices as to how you are going to deal with men during your lifetime:

Choice #1: You can get angry at the men in your life for driving you crazy and spend your time complaining about them. (This is fun for a few hours, but after a few years, it loses its attraction.)

Choice #2: You can give up men entirely and buy a nice, fluffy dog. (This is cheaper, and less work, but not very fulfilling.)

Choice #3: You can decide to learn everything there is to know about understanding and getting along with men, so that you can have the wonderful relationships you deserve.

Ive spent the past fifteen years working with tens of thousands of men and women, learning about what makes relationships succeed and what makes them fail. Its taken me a long time to understand men. Its been a difficult and often painful journeyand Ive made a lot of mistakes along the way in my own relationships with men.

Im happy to say that not only have I survived, Ive emerged from my struggle with a new understanding of men that has changed my life, and I want to share the things Ive learned with you. I hope Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know will be the instruction manual about men that youve been looking for. May it help you create the loving relationship with a man that youve always dreamed of.

May you live in changing times.

Chinese curse

I magine for a moment that youve been chosen to be part of an expedition to another planet. All thats known about the planet is that it is inhabited by beings whose physical appearance is similar to yours. After a long journey through space, you arrive at this faraway world. You step out of your spaceship and are greeted by pleasant-looking creatures who do indeed closely resemble your own species. Much to your amazement, they even appear to be speaking English.

Over the next few hours, you attempt to talk and interact with these beings. At first, you seem to be getting along well. But as more time passes, the tension between you and them begins to mount. Even though these aliens seem to understand the English language, they constantly misunderstand your attempts to communicate with themyou say one thing, and they hear another; you try to express curiosity, for instance, and they interpret it as criticism. As you observe these beings interacting with one another, the differences between you and them become even more apparent. Your own species has been trained to value cooperation and emotional sensitivitythese beings seem always to be in competition with each other. Youve been taught to share your feelingsthey seem to work hard at hiding theirs. The more time you spend with these unusual creatures, the more frustrated you become.

Finally, you and your exploration team decide to depart from this strange and unsettling place. Youre certain that these beings will be happy to see you go, since they didnt show much enthusiasm toward you during your visit. But to your great surprise, they become very sad when you announce that you are leaving, insist that they loved the time they spent with you, and beg you not to depart. In spite of their protests, you board your spaceship, more confused than ever. And as you settle back into your seat and feel the rocket engines lift the steel craft back into space, you think to yourself, That was the strangest group of people Ive ever met. They said one thing and felt another. They acted like they didnt care, but they did. They didnt seem to enjoy having us around, but were unhappy when we left. Well, they were interesting to visit, but I sure wouldnt want to live with them.