Gennifer Michelle Goodloe - I Own My Magic: Self-Talk for Black Women: Affirmations for Self-Care and Empowerment

I Own My Magic Self-Talk for Black Women

Affirmations for Self-Care and Empowerment

G. Michelle Goodloe, LCSW

This book is dedicated to my mom, Gennifer.

Text copyright 2021 G. Michelle Goodloe. Concept and design copyright 2021 Ulysses Press and its licensors. All rights reserved. Any unauthorized duplication in whole or in part or dissemination of this edition by any means (including but not limited to photocopying, electronic devices, digital versions, and the internet) will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

Published by:

Ulysses Press

PO Box 3440

Berkeley, CA 94703

www.ulyssespress.com

ISBN: 978-1-64604-327-9

ISBN: 978-1-64604-343-9 (ebook)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021945955

Acquisitions editor: Ashten Evans

Managing editor: Claire Chun

Project manager: Tyanni Niles

Editor: Michele Anderson

Proofreader: Renee Rutledge

Front cover design: Aderice Palmer-Jones

Interior design and layout: Jake Flaherty

NOTE TO READERS: This book has been written and published for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to serve as medical advice or to be any form of medical treatment. You should always consult with your physician before altering or changing any aspect of your medical treatment. Do not stop or change any prescription medications without the guidance and advice of your physician. Any use of the information in this book is made on the readers good judgment and is the readers sole responsibility. This book is not intended to diagnose or treat any medical condition and is not a substitute for a physician.

Hey there,

I cant tell you how excited I am for you to dive into this journal. There may be several reasons why youve decided to take the time to immerse yourself in this text. You could be looking for a place to express yourself or exploring ways to feel encouraged. Be affirmed that this journal was created with you, your experiences, and your heart in mind.

Black women are incredible people. We hold a variety of roles that help this world go round and have persevered through the most challenging, difficult, and complicated situations imaginable. For generations, Black women have been expected to be strongfor themselves and for othersand in this journal, I want to give you permission to feel soft. This journal invites you to gently put down the burdens, hardships, and adversities that you have been carrying, and to be and feel seen.

And how magical it is to be and feel seen.

It feels like most of my life has been dedicated to feeling seento getting to that place where I was visible, appreciated, and worthy. As a Black female social worker, I felt defined by my roles and that my identity was wrapped up in being strong. This narrative included working as hard as I could and feeling the pressure to earn the right to be seen.

It wasnt until a few months into my first full-time job that another woman who looked like me saw the Black Superwoman cape that I was wearing. I was sitting in a weekly one-on-one meeting to discuss my job and my tasks with my supervisor, a trauma-informed and clinically licensed counselor. As usual, I came prepared and eager, with a notebook full of notes and a smile plastered on my face. I was ready to perform, ready to earn the visibility I desperately desired.

She sat across from me, her face relaxed and her body restedso opposite of my own, as I sat upright, with my body on the edge of my seat, notes stacked perfectly on my lap, and sweat rolling down my back.

She leaned in toward me, with her brow furrowed, and calmly asked, Are you always this way?

My body froze.

I quickly responded, This way? What do you mean?

I remember holding my breath, now terrified of where this conversation was going.

Yes, this way, she continued. Always smiling, always ready. Do you know its OK to just be here? She smiled gently and reached for my hand.

As soon as I felt her physical touch, the tears welled in my eyes and streamed down my face. Never, and especially never in any professional environment, had I been given permission to just be.

And that feeling of being seen shook me to my core. As I laid my defenses down on her office floor, my body went from tense to soft, my heart open and feeling safe. My breath regulated and slowed down.

I couldnt even believe how much I was holding, how much effort I was exerting to feel seen, how exhausted I was to rest from performing.

This woman, an African woman who came to the United States to continue her incredible healing work with people impacted by interpersonal violence, took the time to see me. In her genuine care, she created space for me to feel seen. Her kindness gave me permission to own my magic, without having to earn it, work for it, or perform for it.

I worked with this wonderful human being for some years and have always felt a tremendous amount of gratitude for the space she provided for me. This experience is one of a select few that led you and me to connect through this text today.

• You too deserve to feel seen.
• You too deserve space to feel soft.
• You too deserve permission to just be.
• You too deserve to own your magic.

My hope is that this journal offers you a chance to breathe too.

Black women can be each others greatest supporters. We can be each others nurturers, teachers, cheerleaders, and advisers. Know that you are among a powerful community of sensational women, and all of us deserve to exhale together.

There is a good chance that some of the questions and prompts that you discover in this journal will be familiar to you, while others may be brand-new questions that no one has asked you before. This journal is centered on exploring some of the parts of you that may have been guarded or protected for a long time. Please, take your time with these discoveries. There is no rush in how you self-reflect.

There are several entries, journal prompts, and affirmations sprinkled throughout this book for you to take in. Some of the answers to the prompts may come to you naturally, while others may require you to pause, reflect, and think. There is no right or wrong way to use this journalyou get to choose how you own your magic.

Consider the following ideas to create your own self-care practice using this journal:

• Decide on and dedicate a time of day for you to reflect alone. Are you a morning person? Or do you favor the evenings? Are your lunch breaks your favorite time to have to yourself? Or is right after breakfast a good time to self-reflect? Choose a time that works for you to consistently use this journal.

The best time for me to use this journal is: