Block Joel D. - Sex comes first: 15 ways to save your relationship - without leaving your bedroom

Copulation and coupledom. Coupledom and copulation. When it comes to a fulfilling relationship, these two, sex and coupling, are intrinsically linked. In many cases, the correlation is positive (happy couples frequently report healthy sex lives), but sometimes, it can be a double whammy. Why? Because the road to being a dynamic duo, for both men and women, is mined with potential issues that can taint romance. For example, lack of communication, unresolved anger, and mistrust are the kinds of problems that may result in a sex life that is mediocre at best and more likely distinctly unfulfilling.

What it comes down to is that couples with relationship concerns don't feel erotically connected. Maybe they have intercourse once a week, but complain the spark is missing. Maybe they haven't made love in a month, several months, a year, or longer, in which case sexual awkwardness can be added to the problems that keep them apart. Whatever the case, there is no doubt that relationship issues affect what is going on between the sheets as well.

Typically, couples will go into therapy and work on their conflicts with the hidden hope that one day they will get along better and their romantic life will jump-start. And often this works. Passion is reignited. But it is usually a lengthy process.

These couples are looking to improve their situation by enacting the typical Feel something, and then do something action plan. Not surprising when you consider that's probably the approach most of us take when facing a challenge in our lives. We're socialized to follow an isolate-the-problem/find-a-solution scenario. Trust us, there's nothing wrong with more romance following better communication and relationship harmony. In fact, if that's the outcome, fantastic!

But there's another approach that will add enormous power to a couple's relationship and strengthen as well as hasten the gains made by talking things out. It's characterized by Do something to feel something. And, it involves sex.

Now, don't get too excited. We're not suggesting that you stop trying to communicate and just get busy. It's not that easy. However, sexualizing your issue with a specific physical encounter that is consistent with your issue after working on it verbally can markedly enhance your chances of resolution, because there is a visceral/ muscle memory component that is closely linked to your emotional state. In short, integrating a mind solution with a body solution creates synergy and results in a powerful mind/body experience.

We are suggesting that instead of leaving a problem discussion and letting the words exchanged fade, it will be more effective to reinforce those words with an experience that will literally get into your skin. In other words, involve your body in the process, and your mind will follow.

The sexual experiences throughout the book are powerful. Consequently, fears, doubts, anxieties, shyness, and other apprehensions are likely to get triggered initially. These feelings are common but transient; once the experience proceeds the emotions will likely become strongly and positively bonding.

Of the many forms of couple intimacy a smile across the room, a kiss, a touch sex has the potential to be the most powerful positive physical experience most of us enjoy. This is especially true if sex results in emotional fulfillment, better communication, security, reassurance, and intimacy and that's precisely the aim of this book. We want to teach you to capitalize on the power of sex not only to help enhance physical intimacy with your partner, but also to help connect you in ways that allow your conjoined emotional life to stay on solid footing.

An important thing to keep in mind is that negative feelings thrive in secrecy and lack of acceptance. Integrating couple issues through positive experiences that feature skin-to-skin contact is the precise antidote for healing negative feelings. How so? Well, when you venture into these experiences, you will be sharing while in a state of naked vulnerability, literally. The result is that as you lose your clothes you will simultaneously be forced to strip away additional emotional layers that might be hindering your issue resolution. It's more difficult to ignore or deny difficult feelings when your proverbial armor is removed. This means that your shared experiences while in a state of undress may be ramped up well beyond traditional interaction.

Sex Comes First is the first book to combine the traditional talk approach to strengthening couple relationships with sexuality. Not only will we discuss the most common couple issues those that bug almost all of us and sap the erotic energy right out of our relationships but we'll also help you learn how to use sexual interaction as a means of issue resolution right now (instead of waiting until it's fixed to return your sex life to redhot status).

Yes, you read that correctly. The right sexual act at the right time can actually help resolve many of your issues as a couple today.

Think of yourself as an adventurous scientist who is interested in adding some punch to the usual way of approaching relational issues. The experiments you will be doing will help integrate the more traditional emotional tools that strengthen relationships in a physiological way. Or more simply put, the body is a powerful tool and involving your entire being in your relationship will get you further than ignoring the mind/body connection. And as an added bonus, your sack sessions will get more interesting at the same time.

Get ready to take your sex life where it's never been before. Your relationship will thank you.