Joel Block - Art of the Quickie: Fast Sex, Fast Orgasm, Anytime, Anywhere

Fast Sex | Fast Orgasm | Anytime, Anywhere

Joel D. Block, Ph.D .

Text 2006 Pop Psych Literary, Inc.

Photography 2006 Rockport Publishers

First published in the USA in 2006 by

Quiver, a member of

Quayside Publishing Group

100 Cummings Center, Suite 406-L

Beverly, MA 01915

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized, in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without prior permission in writing from the publisher. The Publisher maintains the records relating to images in this book required by 18 USC 2257 which records are located at Rockport Publishers, Inc. 33 Commercial Street, Gloucester MA 01930

10 09 08 07 06 1 2 3 4 5

ISBN-13: 978-1-59233-240-3

ISBN-10: 1-59233-240-4

Digital edition published in 2010

eISBN-13: 978-1-61673-565-4

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Block, Joel D.

The art of the quickie : fast sex/fast orgasm/anytime, anywhere / Joel D. Block.

p. cm.

ISBN-13: 978-1-59233-240-3

ISBN-10: 1-59233-240-4

1. Sex instruction. 2. Orgasm. I. Title.

HQ31.B565 2006

613.96--dc22

2006019573

Cover and book design by Carol Holtz Design

Photography by Allan Penn

Printed and bound in China

P ART O NE
THE QUICKIE: FAST, DIRTY, AND HOT

P ART T WO
ORGASM: HURRY-UP HELPERS

W ELCOME TO F AST C ITY

Chemistry is at peak levels and every look exchanged is full of lust and promise. You leap on each other before you leave the house in the morning and flash back to your lovemaking throughout the day.

Greeting each other in the evening is anticipated with the kind of excitement people reserve for special occasions. You feel as if you are continually dressing because youre taking your clothes off so often, but you dont mind the extra effort one bit...

Sound familiar? Probably not. If anything, this is likely a distant memory of those first months of your relationship. Dont weep; youve picked up an exciting plan for rekindling that passion.

I specialize in working with couplestreating them, writing about them, giving them presentations, and answering their emails. The subject invariably turns to sex and the complaints are often the same: They have no time for sex. They miss having sex. They want to know how to improve their sex lives. Sex has been missing from their relationship and they are looking for ways to bring sexual passion back. They want ideas of how to find time for sex.

Here are some of the comments Ive heard concerning this hot topic:

By the time I get to bed, all Im thinking about is sleep! The other day it dawned on me that I couldnt remember the last time we had sex.

I know that everyone says to just make a date night, but when? Its not as easy as it seems.

Sometimes it seems that my husband and I are more like roomies or friends than married, because we spend so much time on other things, not the passion we had early on.

We have sex, now and then, but it feels like something on the to do list. Pick up milk. Drop Darren off at karate. Mail the bills. Have sex. Sex isnt even first on the list!

When I think of finding the time or energy for sex I get discouraged. Frankly, theres not enough in it for me to make the effort. Thats a long way from the early days when we couldnt keep our hands off each other!

After we have sex I always think, What happened to the excitement we used to have? The Wow! factor. Something that would lead me to say to myself, thats great, lets do it more often. After working all day, making dinner, doing chores, giving the kids some attention and putting them to bed, I need an incentive.

Not a pretty picture. Many of todays couples think of lovemaking as something that has to be worked up to gradually and with delicacy. Its assumed that a large block of time has to be put aside for the encounter, and they cant manage to find it. Although this kind of lovemaking can certainly be a luxurious part of an intimate relationship, so too are those unplanned moments when you just feel like having sex with no preparation at all.

Asking you if you would like a richer, fuller, more intensely pleasurable and rewarding sex life is like asking if you would object to inheriting a few million dollars, no strings attached and taxes already paid. Almost everyone wants better sex.

Even if its good we want it better. Sexual passion has the power to lift our spirits unlike any other feeling, just as sexual frustration can dampen our spirits unlike any other experience.

So, what makes more sense when it comes to our sex livesthe infrequent feast or the more frequent delicious snack that creates a hunger for more? What do the experts suggest? Put more romance in your life! A cottage industry has sprung up to address what is perceived to be the problem: no time, no energy, and no opportunity for sex. The experts advice: schedule, plan, make dates, be more romantic, blah, blah, blah.

Lots of us tried to follow the experts advice only to end up feeling that we were doing something wrong because it wasnt working. But were not wrong! The experts have it wrong, and, with full disclosure, I have been among them.

Humans were designed for faster and bolder sex. Thats right. Not only faster, but also, at least on occasion, with a bit of daring behavior thrown in. We require novelty. Historically, the animal kingdom didnt waste time. The more time spent on sex, the more vulnerable they were to being consumed. And the consumption being referred to isnt oral sex!

In addition, it is likely that we will be in a relationship longer than our ancestors lived. Sex, after a few hundred repetitions of ten minutes of foreplay followed by two minutes of thrusting in the missionary position, can easily become routine and boring. To take this evolutionary fact into todays world of long hours at the office, endless traffic, and children to care for, its a wonder we find time for sex at all, especially since it often doesnt deliver when we do. Sure, the five-course gourmet deal is delicious. But sometimes, nothing but a slice of masterfully topped pizza straight from a wood-fired brick oven will do. Its unrealistic to expect to engage in full-on sex all the time, which is why daring quickies are not optionaltheyre damn necessary.

I expect quickies wont be your only way of making love, but, stepping out of your usual routine is an excellent way to keep sexual passion burning.

What do I mean by a quickie?

In case its not clear, some quickies involve less time than it takes to poach an egg. Some are not speedy and are different, but there is a definite shift in the approach. Its less about romance and more about creating and acting on your lust.

This is totally the opposite of everything you normally hear: set a romantic mood, dont rush things, why rush through something thats so pleasurable? And I say why not! Its all about a shift in attitude.

As we will hear in their own words, lots of women contend that theres something to be said for forgetting the hoopla every once in a while. No hands. No mouths. No talk. Just do it. Its like being told: I must have you! Now!

So what if hes shaving and late for work, or youre busy paying the bills? For once, wouldnt it be wild to get swept off your feet (or knock him off his)?