Ruth K. Westheimer - Sex For Dummies

Sex For Dummies, 4th Edition

Published by: John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030-5774, www.wiley.com

Copyright 2019 by Ruth K. Westheimer

Published simultaneously in Canada

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Library of Congress Control Number: 2019943021

ISBN 978-1-119-59656-1 (pbk); ISBN 978-1-119-59659-2 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-119-59658-5 (ebk)

1. Chapter 1
2. Chapter 2
3. Chapter 3
4. Chapter 7
5. Chapter 11
6. Chapter 16
7. Chapter 22

Humans have been having sex since time immemorial, and not much changed as the centuries slid by. Then in the 1960s, the Pill came out, women could easily control whether or not to become pregnant, and the sexual revolution began. Other advancements followed so that today many more women who couldnt have orgasms are now orgasmic, and many older people, particularly men, can have sex into their 90s. People are talking to each other about their sexual needs, leading to greater satisfaction, but although weve made progress, more needs to be done.

Millions of young people just beginning their sexual lives need to be taught what to do and how to do it as safely as possible. There continue to be millions of adults who are still having sex the way cave men and women did in the Stone Age, never having received the message that terrific sex is possible. Dating, that all-important precursor to sex, has changed dramatically. More members of the LGBTQ community can express themselves, but discrimination persists. And finally, many people are still derailed by sexual myths. So although the need for this book has lessened in some ways since it first came out, my job of educating people about good sexual functioning is not yet over.

Do you know how I learned about sex? I was about ten, and my parents kept a marriage manual in a locked cabinet way up high. I had to pile books on top of a chair to reach it, so I literally risked my neck to learn the facts of life. Youre so much luckier because everything you need to know is right here in the palm of your hand. (Okay, not everything. If you have a serious problem, you may have to turn to a professional for help, but at least after reading this book, youll know whether you really need to do that.)

Just as you can have sex many different ways, you can use this book a variety of ways. You can read it from cover to cover, but its okay if you skim it too. The table of contents at the front of the book and the index in the rear can point you to the topics youre interested in. Also, when I talk about something important that you should know that you may have skipped, I always refer to the appropriate chapter.

And because I cover such a wide variety of material, Im going to suggest that instead of keeping this book on a bookshelf in the basement, you keep it right by your bed or on the kitchen counter if thats where you most often engage in sex!

Now, let me say something about my philosophy at this point.

• I am old-fashioned and a square.
• I believe in God, I believe in marriage, and I believe in morality.

But, because I cant dictate to you how you should live your life,

• I believe that I must give you the tools with which to conduct yourself as safely as possible.

Thats why I believe in giving you information so that, even if you do have premarital sex or even extra-marital sex, at least you have a better chance of not causing unintended pregnancies and not catching a sexually transmitted disease.

Do I encourage people to develop a relationship before they engage in sex with another person? Absolutely. And Ill say it again and again throughout this book.

But even if youre having a one-night stand, I still want you to wake up the next morning healthy and safe. And I look at this book as an important tool in reaching you and others of all ages to help you discover more useful information on this important subject.

Ive written this book so that you can 1) find information easily and 2) easily understand what you find. And although Id like to believe that you want to pore over every last word between the two yellow and black covers, I actually make it easy for you to identify skippable material by presenting it in sidebars (or the shaded boxes that appear here and there). This information is the stuff that, although interesting and related to the topic at hand, isnt necessary reading.