Cara Alwill Leyba - Give Yourself the Gift of Confidence and Ignite Your Inner Magic

I am a woman who has spent her entire life obsessively trying to become comfortable in her own skin. I am a woman who has desperately sought ways to embrace every part of herself and to dispel the completely unattainable ideas that society has brainwashed us into believing: that women must be flawless, simultaneously feminine and strongbut not too strong. Successful, but not to the point where that success threatens a man. Beautiful, but not to the point where our beauty intimidates other women. Confidentas long as we dont say it out loud. And skinny. Dont forget skinny.

The world has tried to zip me inside a constricting dress. And after spending years trying to breathe inside it, Im done. I feel ready. Ready for a new way to do life. Ready to challenge the antiquated ideas and pressure from the media that have smothered women for decades. Ready to throw guilt out the window. Ready to raise my middle finger to diet culture, magazine covers, and self-help books that tell us were sick and broken. Ready to show women that we are enough, right now, exactly as we are.

I am inviting you to boldly redefine confidence with me. I am inviting you to question everything you were programmed to believe. Because here is one thing I have finally learned: Its not about the thinnest woman in the room with no wrinkles and toned abs and a $4,000 handbag. Its about the woman in the room who knows in her heart that shes a motherfucking boss. Its about the woman in the room who can give herself everything she wants, who makes others feel valued, and who turns that damn room upside down simply by walking into it.

And shes not doing it for anyones pleasure but her own. She isnt turning heads because she is the most liked, or the most intimidating. Shes turning heads because her energy is undeniable. The most confident women are the ones who feel it. And we cant help but see it. And want to soak in every single part of it, because its just that real.

Its time we all realize we can all be that woman. Its time we realize that becoming her is as simple as deciding. Can you imagine what your life would be like if you were no longer available for the struggle? If you retired the idea of perfection and decided to fully and wholeheartedly be yourself andeven betterlove yourself? Imagine you stopped putting your happiness in the hands of others. Imagine you stopped waiting for validation from external forces. Imagine you became intimate with failure, cellulite, success, wrinkles, imperfection, fuck-ups, and vulnerability. Can you imagine what life would be like if you just decided to feel good now?

This is new territory for me, if Im honest. But its fabulous territory. Its liberating territory. Its empowering territory. And its work. Maintaining the confidence Ive found is a daily practice. It requires patience, dedication, forgiveness, and an incredible amount of self-compassion. It requires taking a good, hard look at my life and knowing when to let things go. It requires asking myself, honestly, what I need. Youve probably read that confidence is a choice, and while thats true, its more accurate to say that confidence is a series of repeated choices to accept yourself.

What does it mean to accept yourself? I used to think accepting myself was a form of giving up. Somewhere along the way, I convinced myself that if I accepted my body, it meant giving up on being healthy. I thought if I accepted my personal best rather than frantically striving for perfection, I would no longer produce quality work. I thought if I owned my flaws, I would somehow let myself go. I did not understand that I could truly love and embrace myself, and be confident, while simultaneously building a better version of myself.

Eventually, through years of hard work, I began to reprogram my mind. I came to understand that the biggest act of self-love was bettering myself, being healthy, embracing my failures, and feeling beautiful, but for an entirely new set of reasons. I came to understand that we canand shouldchange, but it must all begin with love. I came to understand that an evolving mind is a healthy mind. And we should evolve as a natural part of our growth as women, not because society tells us to or because were trying to keep up with others.

Ive spent most of my life trying to be more beautiful, skinnier, and so on. When I think back on how much time Ive spent trying to fix myself, it makes me so sad. The time Ive wasted starving myself into a pair of jeans or beating myself up over a mistake is time I could have spent laughing, smiling, and loving myself. The time Ive spent waiting for the perfect moment is time I could have spent experiencing life. The time Ive spent waiting for the right words is time I could have spent wearing my heart on my sleeve and, as a result, feeling all the raw, messy, and beautiful feelings that come with that. It took me a long time to overcome all the bullshit. It took me a long time to develop an unshakable sense of inner peace and become intimate with my intuition. It took me a long time to achieve real, sustainable confidence.

My passion for my own personal development led me to become a certified master life coach so that I could help others too. I saw so many women around me struggling with their self-esteem, constantly questioning their own choices and living for everyone but themselves. I knew I could apply my own experiences and success on my journey to building my confidence, coupled with the training and skills I received from my coaching education, to help women heal. It is now not just my passion, but my lifes work. Through my career as a life coach, I have traveled the world, hosted events, written six personal development books prior to this one, and helped thousands of women become empowered and live their best lives.