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Most people aim to be good at the things they do. A few select individuals aim their sights higher, seeking out knowledge from experts and practicing for hours to develop jaw-dropping skills. Fortunately for you and your present or future partners, becoming a highly pleasing bedmate appears to be important to you or else you wouldnt be reading this guide. After all, why be good in bed when you can be great?
There is, of course, a great deal at stake: the happiness and satisfaction of you and your partners, the vibrancy and harmony of a long-term relationship, not to mention your reputation as a guaranteed good time in the sack. (Theres nothing more ego-plumping than a sex referral.) In Great in Bed weve striven to give you all the information you need to exceed your wildest expectations as well as those of anyone lucky enough to roll around with you.
No stone unturned In our attempts to impart the very best sex advice, weve taken a comprehensive approach. While theres oodles of scientific and anecdotal advice on the, ahem, nuts and bolts of sex, weve also delved into the peripheral and too-often overlooked aspects of getting it on. Here in the following sections you will find information on the importance of becoming intimately familiar with your own parts and in so doing discovering what works for you; exploring your deepest and most titillating fantasies and creating a mental checklist of your turn-ons and offs; being seductive while being yourself; tips for getting what you want without having to employ social dynamics, neurolinguistic programming, or pheromones; receiving feedback on your performance and appraising a partners; and of course finding ways to marry safer sex and pleasure together in the most harmonious of ways.
You, me, and everyone we know Great in Bed holds the keys to better sex for singles, couples, and threesomes, as well as those who are dating or trying their best at mating. Its written for both men and women, adults of all ages, and certainly an array of sexual orientations. Its also written for people of a variety of experience levels. Beginners will find clear instructions for how to get in the game and seasoned; experimental types will discover new ways to seduce, please, and be pleased.
Being truly great in bed may require hour upon hour of practice. Its tough, of course, but we know you can do it
At your service One of your guides, Dr. Debby Herbenick, is a sexual research scientist and sex educator at Indiana University and the famed Kinsey Institute. Throughout Great in Bed, youll find important information about the latest that sexual science has to offer, from how many people engage in certain sex acts to some of the greatest predictors of mens sexual satisfaction.
Your other guide on this journey, Grant Stoddard, has made a career out of reporting directly from the sexual trenches through his first-person accounts of things that would make you blush if you werent so committed to becoming fantastic in bed yourself. Grant gleaned his know-how not through the rigors of the scientific method but via trial and error so you dont have to. At least, not quite as much.
We like to think that what goes around comes aroundput great sex out there and great sex will fall in your path
What the doctor ordered Implement the wisdom we impart in the various sections of this guide and get used to hearing things like Wow!, Where did you learn to do that?, and Who the hell are you? Youll soon find that being great in bed has all kinds of positive ramifications beyond you and your partner(s) having fun in the sack. Having mind-blowing sex will probably make you feel less stressed, more relaxed, imbue you with a more positive outlook on life, and have you feeling more confident and comfortable in your own skin. Furthermore, fully satisfying sex can be an immune system booster, a pain reliever, and can improve your overall health and well-being. Seminal plasma contains zinc, calcium, and other minerals shown to hinder tooth decay. Thats right: A blow job a day may keep the dentist away (unless, of course, playing dentist is your thing role playing is also a part of being great in the sack for some).
A greater quality of sex will almost certainly lead to a greater quantity of sex, and pretty soon youll find that all that calorie-burning bumping is making you both look and feel better than ever. Your bed may just be the best piece of exercise equipment ever invented!
Staying safe While theres a long list of positive outcomes from having lots of great sex, sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancies present some pretty significant bummers. Having safer sex absolutely doesnt have to get in the way of all the fun youll be having. In fact, we stress that knowing that youve been responsible between the sheets (or in a hotel elevator) will enhance your enjoyment overall by reducing worries. Ultimately, having safer sex means having more and better sex.
How to become great in bed
First things first Well, to start with, you have to get into bed, ideally with someone else. As such, the first part of this guide features a wealth of information about catching a potential partners eye, flirting with them, planning a date, making your move, and getting them, if not into, at least into the vicinity of a bed. And when youre there, we talk you through kissing like a pro.
Foreplay = more play Once you and the object of your affection are finally in bed together, your journey to greatness continues with our well-earned suggestions about using foreplay to arouse your partner and prepare for exciting and possibly orgasmic sex. Were talking kissing, caressing, breast play, touching your parts and their parts, and all those exciting moments of early sex exploration. We give you the ins and outs of her body, his body, and how all the bits and pieces fit together. Nipples? Check. Butts? Oh yes. We also share unique information with you on how important it is to embrace the awesomeness of penises and vulvas and the fantastic things they can do (being a memorable sexer most certainly involves being decisive about the riveting nature of these parts). Nor have we left out the sensual ways that the best bedmates learn to explore touching, licking, sucking, or even nibbling each others backs, thighs, chests, necks, and toes.