James Buckley - The Bathroom Companion

Copyright 2005
by James Buckley Jr.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Number: 2004111739

ISBN: 1-59474-028-3
eBook ISBN: 978-1-59474-913-1

Designed by Bryn Ashburn

Illustrations by Wendy Smith

Quirk Books
215 Church Street
Philadelphia, PA 19106
www.quirkbooks.com

v3.1

I n 1596, Sir John Harrington invented the first modern flushing toilet. Queen Elizabeth I, Harringtons godmother, called for one to be installed in her home, but the smell kept her from using it. Alexander Cummingss 1775 invention of a U-shaped bend in the piping helped keep the smell from backing up (usually), but even with that, the flush toilet was years away from popularity. (Thomas Crapper was a Victorian-era plumber, but he did not invent the toilet.)

On December 28, 1917, the New York Evening Mail published a satirical piece by famed humorist H. L. Mencken. The story, called A Neglected Anniversary, purported to be a history of the plumbed bathtub in America. Mencken wrote at length about a man named Adam Thompson, who viewed an early tub in England and was determined to introduce it to Americans. The writer went on to describe physicians vehement protestations to this newfangled item and the installation of the first bathtub in the White House, ordered by President Millard Fillmore.

Mencken never suspected that readers would take the story seriously. But it was pretty dry humor, and soon his faux reporting showed up in legitimate articles, essays, and even scholarly journals. By 1926, it had gone so far that Mencken wrote a retraction, Melancholy Reflections, which a number of newspapers syndicated. Three weeks later the Boston Herald used some of the original misinformation in a serious news piece.

Even after Mencken published yet another retraction, this one also widely syndicated, his tongue-in-cheek history seemed to maintain a life of its own.

T he first bathroom, but not the first toliet, was built in the Palace of Knossos on Crete in about 1700 B.C. Archaeologists discovered a simple gravity-run system that moved water through the area below the privy hole, cleaning the area after each use in a flushlike manner. The pipes were not long, solid lengths, but rather linked, tapered sections that helped the water flow more quickly. A large terracotta tub was also uncovered on the island. Nearly five feet (1.5 m) long, it had notches for a crossbar on which might have rested bathing implements.

T he first toothbrush with bristles was developed in China in 1498. Bristles were taken from hogs at first and later from horses and even badgers. Not until 1938 were nylon bristlesmore sanitary and less dangerousdeveloped by DuPont.

THE GODFATHER (1972)

Young Michael Corleone (Al Pacino), frisked when he enters an Italian restaurant, finds a gun his associates had stashed above the toilet in the restroom. He returns to the table to assassinate a crooked police captain.

FUN WITH DICK AND JANE (1977)

Suburbanites Dick and Jane Harper (George Segal and Jane Fonda) covertly plot their future life in crime while Fonda pees.

SIXTEEN CANDLES (1984)

The Geek (Anthony Michael Hall) charges the schools nerds admission to the boys restroom for an exhibition of Samanthas (Molly Ringwald) panties.

STRIPES (1981)

John Winger (Bill Murray) faces off with the wily Sergeant Hulka (Warren Oates) in a one-punch fight that leaves Winger gasping for air on the latrine floor.

WITNESS (1985)

While using a stall in a Philadelphia train-station bathroom, a young Amish boy (Lukas Haas) witnesses the murder of an undercover police officer. The terrified boy sets the films plot in motion.

CROCODILE DUNDEE (1986)

Mick Dundee (Paul Hogan) delights in the Plaza Hotels indoor dunny, washing his socks in the bathtub and his feet in the bidet.

TRAINSPOTTING (1996)

In a jarring sequence, junkie Rent Boy (Ewan McGregor) is swallowed whole by the filthiest toilet ever seen.

THERES SOMETHING ABOUT MARY (1998)

Ted Stroehmann (Ben Stiller) has an unfortunate encounter with the zipper of his tuxedo before going to his high school prom.

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN (2002)

While aboard an airplane, the legendary con artist Frank Abagnale Jr. (Leonardo DiCaprio) manages to escape FBI agent Carl Hanratty (Tom Hanks) by dismantling the airplanes bathroomand climbing out through the toilet system.

T hough indoor toilets were fairly common in urban settings by the early part of the century, the Encyclopaedia Britannica did not include plumbing in its listings until 1911, at which time the trade was described as work done for the purpose of fitting up and maintaining water service, gas service, and drainage in a building.

Alka-Seltzer fizzes because citric acid reacts with sodium bicarbonate when placed into the activating medium of a glass of water. The plop, plop, fizz, fizz jingle was composed in 1976 by Tom Dawes:

Plop, plop, fizz, fizz. Oh, what a relief it is.

Some other prominent bathroom-related jingles:

Youll wonder where the yellow went When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent.1946

Brylcreem, a little dabll do ya.1953

Obviously, some of them are doubling up.