Bathroom Readers Institute - Uncle Johns Book of Fun Bathroom Reader for Kids Only!

We have them all. Thanks for this great form of reading pleasure.Glenda S.I LOVE the Bathroom Readers for Kids Only. I have all three! My dad even reads them! Hes a fully-grown 43-year-old kid, but we both love them! Cheers to Uncle John, Porter the Wonder Dog, Elbow Room, and all of you cool writers in the BRI! Go with the flow! (I always wanted to say that. Heehee)Ninon, age 11Hi!!!!!!!!! I absolutely LOVE your books!!!!!!!! Im absolutely OBSESSED. I now have a grand total of seven Bathroom Readers and am working up to my eighth. (I like reading mine, too.) Thanks!Marino Nardelli, 6th Grade TeacherPlease, dont stop! I dont know what I would do without you. (I like reading mine, too.) Thanks!Marino Nardelli, 6th Grade TeacherPlease, dont stop! I dont know what I would do without you.

Uncle John, I pledge my undying love.Jeff A., age 9Thank you so much for your fantastic books! I regularly spout random trivia in school, and astound and amaze teachers and friends. Thanks for giving me more knowledge than any 12-year-old has a right to know.Hank J.I am writing this letter to express how much I have enjoyed your series. Watching TV bores me and these books do not show reruns. They keep me occupied for hours. When will another book be coming out?Julie M., age 12Youve addicted my family, my sisters family, and several friends... and the list grows!Debby T.I absolutely love E-V-E-R-Y single one of your books! I ask for them on my birthday, on Christmas! I tell everyone all the fun facts Ive learned from your books, who knew the dot on the i is called a tittle? Please continue publishing these books!!! Theyre great!Derek B., age 11A bathroom without Uncle John is just a toilet.Chris L. by the
Bathroom Readers
Institute

Bathroom Readers Press Ashland, Oregon

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. Portable Press/The Bathroom Readers Institute An imprint of Printers Row Publishing Group 10350 Barnes Canyon Road, Suite 100, San Diego, CA 92121 www.bathroomreader.com e-mail: Printers Row Publishing Group is a division of Readerlink Distribution Services, LLC. The Portable Press, Bathroom Readers Institute, and Uncle Johns Bathroom Reader names and logos are registered trademarks of Readerlink Distribution Services, LLC. All correspondence concerning the content of this book should be addressed to Portable Press/The Bathroom Readers Institute, Editorial Department, at the above address. Cover by Michael Brunsfeld eISBN: 978-1-60710-666-1 e-Book edition: September 2012

UNCLE JOHN SEZ...

Whats the most important ingredient in writing our books? Laughter.

We love to laugh and we know you do, too. So we wrote a book devoted to funfun stuff to do, fun facts to tell, and, most importantly, funny jokes. The most difficult part was just to stop laughing long enough to write everything down. But we did it, and here it is, our first Uncle Johns Book of Fun. Before you giggle so hard you wet your pants (please dont wet your pants), let me give a special thank you to our joke writers and collectors, Jahnna, Malcolm, and Maggie M., to our book designer, Michael B., to our typesetter/page designer extraordinaire, Jeff A., and to all the crazy staff at the Bathroom Readers Institute. Ha-ha.

And, as always, Go with the Flow. Uncle John THANK YOU! Gordon Javna Jahnna Beecham Malcolm Hillgartner Jeff Altemus Michael Brunsfeld Thom Little Jay Newman Brian Boone Angela Kern Sydney Stanley Maggie McLaughlin Dash and Skye Caitlin and McKenzie Julia Papps Sharilyn Hovind Paul Stanley Rick Rebhun Amy Briggs John Dollison Alan Orso John Gaffey JoAnn Padgett Annie Mclntyre Laura Blackfeather Mustard Press Mana Manzavi Porter the Wonder Dog Thomas Crapper And now
let the
fun begin! Knock-knock! Whos there? Cargo. Cargo who? Car gobeep-beep! What do you get when you cross a Bloodhound with a Labrador? A Blabadorit never stops barking. What do you get when you cross a Pekingese with a Lhasa Apso? A Peekassoan artistic dog. What do you get when you cross a Deerhound with a Terrier? A Derrierea dog thats true to the end! What do you get when you cross a Great Pyrenees with a Dachshund? A Pyredachs (paradox)a puzzling breed. What do you get when you cross a Collie with a Lhasa Apso? A Collapsoa dog that folds up for easy transport! What do you get when you cross a Pointer with a Setter? A Poinsetter (poinsettia)a traditional Christmas pet.

What do you get when you cross a Spitz with a Chow? A Spitz-Chowa dog that barfs a lot!

PUNNY DEFINITIONS

CamelotWhere camels are parked. DenialA river in Egypt. IglooAn icicle built for two. PolygonA dead parrot. ViolinA very bad hotel.