Betches - Whens Happy Hour?

Thank you for downloading this Simon & Schuster ebook.

Get a FREE ebook when you join our mailing list. Plus, get updates on new releases, deals, recommended reads, and more from Simon & Schuster. Click below to sign up and see terms and conditions.

CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP

Already a subscriber? Provide your email again so we can register this ebook and send you more of what you like to read. You will continue to receive exclusive offers in your inbox.

We hope you enjoyed reading this Simon & Schuster ebook.

Get a FREE ebook when you join our mailing list. Plus, get updates on new releases, deals, recommended reads, and more from Simon & Schuster. Click below to sign up and see terms and conditions.

CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP

Already a subscriber? Provide your email again so we can register this ebook and send you more of what you like to read. You will continue to receive exclusive offers in your inbox.

ALSO BY BETCHES

I Had a Nice Time and Other Lies...

Nice Is Just a Place in France

Gallery Books

An Imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

1230 Avenue of the Americas

New York, NY 10020

www.SimonandSchuster.com

Copyright 2018 by Jordana Abraham, Aleen Kuperman, and Samantha Fishbein

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, address Gallery Books Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.

First Gallery Books hardcover edition October 2018

GALLERY BOOKS and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales at 1-866-506-1949 or .

The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event, contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at www.simonspeakers.com.

Art by Kenzie Szymarek

Jacket design by Brittany Levine

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Betches (Group)

Title: Whens happy hour? : work hard so you can hardly work / The Betches.

Other titles: When is happy hour?

Description: New York : Gallery Books, [2018]

Identifiers: LCCN 2018023019| ISBN 9781501198984 (hardcover) | ISBN 9781501198991 (trade pbk.) | ISBN 9781501199004 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: Women-Employment. | Sex role in the work environment.

Classification: LCC HD6053 .B478 2018 | DDC 650.1082dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018023019.

ISBN 978-1-5011-9898-4

ISBN 978-1-5011- 9900-4 (ebook)

To all the betches out there who sometimes feel like they want to be CEO and then other times feel like they want to stay home and bake cookies.

I ts the second Tuesday in February; youre in the bathroom stall in your office building, and youre crying. Like really embarrassingly crying. Worse than Kim Kardashian after five vials of filler. Its not because someone just died; no, its so much lamer than that. You just dont want to go back to your desk. Everyone at work sucks, your boss is mean, the girls at work are petty, the coworker who ghosted you just got a promotion, and the only good thing your job has going for it are the office snacks. You ask yourself, Can I get away with staying in here until 5:00 p.m.? I literally do not care about this job, why the fuck am I here?

Youre asking yourself the wrong question. Deep down, what youre really asking yourself is: Why do I even care about this job? Does my career even matter? If you just murmured no under your breath, put this book down and head over to bachelor.com/casting. Seriously, no judgment; if anything, we fully respect your willingness to either spend your trust fund or to carry credit card debt so brazenly.

But barring future bachelorettes, the truth is, it really doesnt matter what you do... to anyone but you. Were all a little bit narcissistic and self-centered here (heads up, Peace Corps volunteer-types and the extremely PC crowd should probably see yourselves out), so if you truly care about yourself as a person, then yes, without question you should care about your career. Valuing yourself means, at least in part, that you should automatically invest a lot of thought in what you spend your waking hours doing and thinking about.

Were going to assume that youre the type of person who already cares a lot about your career, simply based on the fact that you opened a career book (we know, career book sounds so boring, which is exactly the problem). But lets say this is your first time dabbling in noncomplacency. This book will show you why its actually worth it to invest time and energy into your own future so you dont end up with a life that just happened to you, instead of one you created for yourself.

We all have that friend who seems to float around for her entire twenties without any real direction and no apparent desire to change that. We also all know the friend who dutifully attends her job every day but literally couldnt care less about what she actually does beyond mining office gossip about whos hooking up with whom. To each their own.

But as entertaining and comfortable as it is to never invest too much in your advancementno ones claiming to enjoy the heart palpitations that come along with a high-stakes work emailtheres something much bleaker about the thought of spending eight to ten hours a day working for results that are less important to you than those of a Watch What Happens Live poll. (Though, yes, we do feel strongly that LuAnn is going to change her ways after rehab.)

We admit that not everyone is cut out to be an executive or thrive in an environment in which money is prized as the gold standard of human worth (which, lets be real, is true of most professions in America). TBH that is so not for us, either. We run a company whose name is derived from the word bitches , so you know our office is not exactly the trading desk at Goldman Sachs. Which is why were the perfect people to tell you that passionately pursuing your career doesnt have to mean dealing with lame, petty bullshit typically associated with career achievement.

To be serious for like, a hot sec, we also want to start with a caveat and a disclaimer that what we discuss in this career book is not going to make sense for everyone. First of all, if youre the type of person who has never really enjoyed or felt interest in working but have always wanted kids and genuinely feel fulfilled in taking care of your home, then this book is really not going to apply to you. But you should read it anyway, because its funny, and youre probably bored out of your mind chasing toddlers around your kitchen. For real, though, we have a ton of respect for women who genuinely want to be full-time mothers and have the resources to do that. Plus, your kids will never get to be all like, You didnt even raise us, the nanny did! We feel strongly that if that is what you want, then that is exactly what you should do.

We also realize that all three of us come from specific, pretty privileged backgrounds (upper middle class, college educated, white, able-bodied) and some of our advice cannot be taken by women in situations that are unlike our own. We also realize that we have a unique situation of career experience in the start-up world and that literally everyones personal situation is different. Were going to be making generalizations throughout this book that may not sit well with everyone, andfor once in our liveswe truly mean no offense. Enjoy this book for its humor, reap the benefits of whatever advice might speak to you, and leave the rest behind. Okay, now back to our very strong and important opinions.