Harrison Melissa - Mother to Son

Workman Publishing Company New York

This book was twenty-six years in the making and is the product of the wisdom of many outstanding moms. Charlotte Lee and Judy Birkes offered valuable insight.

As a mother, my job is to take care of what is possible and trust God with the impossible.

Ruth Bell Graham

Its a boy.

With these words, each mother starts a journey. This book is a guide to navigating the relationshipsometimes exhilarating, sometimes exasperating, but always extraordinarybetween a mother and her son. The wisdom on these pages is intended to make you laugh, to make you sigh, and to give you strength. Its not easy to raise a loving, strong, and successful boy, but with each milestonefrom the first bedtime story to the last day of schoolyoull be reminded that youre doing the most important job in the world.

1. Pray for him every day.
2. Respect his father.
3. Do everything in your power to create a peaceful home.
4. Feed him love, morals, values, and integrity daily.
5. Be a strong woman.

Realize that your son will love you more intensely than anyone or anything else in the world.

At times, you will be blown away by the depth of your love for him.

Dont forget that as a baby, he will always be looking for your face. It will be this way forever.

Spend as much time with him as you can. This is for your sake as well as his.

Read all the advice books and baby guides you want, but trust your instincts. Theyre good.

Watch out when youre changing his diaper. Baby boys shoot straight in the air.

Know that your job in life is to feed him, love him, and point him in the right direction.

Be ready for him to wake up hungry. Boys eat more than you can imagine, even as babies.

Keep lots of soft towels handy. Hes a drooling machine.

The more you talk to him, the sooner hell talk to you.

Dont speak to him all the time in baby talk.

Realize that from day one, hes wired to be self-reliant. Dont change that.

If you wait until he cries to pick him up, youre teaching him to cry.

He will need a nap every day for his first five years. So will you.

Accept the fact that boys and girls are different.

Steel yourself for when the doctor has to give him shots. His screams will wake the dead.

Baby-proof your home. Anything he can reach, he will put in his mouth.

Youll come to appreciate baby shampoo as one of the worlds greatest inventions.

You will want to just watch himhis eyes, his hands, his movementsfor hours. Its normal.

Remember, he needs to be around you, to hear your voice, to see you looking at him.

Relax. Throwing food is normal. Heck, throw it back.

Driving in a car will put him to sleep. Keep this in mind when its two a.m. and he wont stop wailing.

Take him for walks. Tell him what hes seeing.

You dont have to be a constant source of entertainment. Let him entertain himself. Everything is stimulating to babies.

Buy him a soft blanket. He will keep it for years.

Keep in mind that from the moment he starts crawling, hes tasted freedom.

Dont worry about falling off your exercise program. Once he starts walking, chasing after him will more than make up for it.

Set up a college savings plan. Now.

Youll remember his laughter at this age forever.

Dont forget, he needs one-on-one attention from you.

Practice staying calm. This will serve you well in his teenage years.

For reasons unknown, he will want to sit in your closet and play with your shoes. For hours.

Dont freak out when his dad throws him up in the air while playing with him. They both need this.

For a whilea long whilehe will regard his father as more fun than you. But he will always know who feeds him and comforts him. Always.

Its okay if he falls down. Whats important is that he learns to pick himself up.

Note that his idols will always be boys five years older than he is.

Youll be tempted to throw elaborate birthday parties for him, even when hes one or two or three. You may love it, but at this age, he wont even remember.

Be consistent: with your love, with rules, with discipline. With everything.

Try to make rules fun.

His tears will break your heart. So will his smiles.

Remember, boys tend to be competitive about everything. It will make no sense to you and sometimes scare you to death.

Dont panic over his eating a bug or two. Boys just want to know what things taste like.

Tell him to aim when he uses the bathroom. Until he does, he will hit everything but the toilet.

Remember, toddler boys are terrors. It goes with the age.

He will be itching to go outside all the time. Take him out.

If you make fun of him, hell learn to be shy.

Dont overreact when he hurts himself, and he wont, either.

Try as you might, you cant shield him from life.

The sooner he learns to follow the rules, the easier his life will be. And yours.

He will become unraveled when you leave him with a babysitter. Go quickly.

Introduce him to crayons and paint. But keep an eye on him or hell redecorate your home.

Install safety locks on all the cabinets he can reach. This is as much for your sanity as for his safety.

Right around the age of three, he will heroically start to think he is your protector. This never goes away.

If you want him to listen to you when hes a teenager, teach him to listen to you now.

Nightmares can terrify him. Hold him, comfort him, and watch over him until he falls back to sleep. In his bed.

Hell continue to whine for as long as it works.

From you, hell learn the importance of telling the truth. Be a good model.

Remember these words: Its just a phase.

Make him drink his milk. But dont make him clean his plate.

Dont skip nap time, or you will both pay dearly.

If you buy him something every time he goes to the store with you, youll soon be buying him something every time he goes to the store with you.

Establish a daily time for reading together, and stick to it.

No one has ever figured out how bubble gum winds up in boys hair.

Dont install white carpeting. Youre just inviting misery.

Enjoy his bath time. He certainly will.

Tell him your kisses magically heal skinned knees. Distribute magic kisses liberally.

Teach him how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. This could be his main source of sustenance for the next ten years of his life.

Dont forget: Praise is contagious. So is criticism.

Play catch with him. He wont really care if you cant catch a ball or throw a perfect pass.

Remember, your encouragement breeds confidence. It always will.

To a young boy, happiness is a big spoon and a bowl of chocolate chip cookie dough.

Teach him to talk with his mouth open and chew with it closed.

He will try to drag a hose from the backyard into the living room. Discourage this.